Life Lately

These are my favorite verses. I have them hanging on the wall beside my bed 

so that I can look at them and be encouraged on the hard days.

This winter has been a difficult one for me health-wise. In December I had a gastroparesis flare. Before I could recover from that completely, I came down with a virus that wiped me out for the month of January. I thought I would recover in February, but never did completely. The setbacks in December and January had taken their toll on my health, and my body grew weaker. By the end of February it was consistently taking me four days or more to recover from at-home activities that would usually only take me a day or two to recover from.

A week ago I could feel that I was close to a crash. I had great difficulty typing and carrying on a conversation. I was unable to read with comprehension, and even watching television was hard. Based on past experience, I knew that if I kept pushing it my health would only deteriorate further. Will and I decided that we needed to cancel everything for me last week. I needed to rest with the goal and hope of avoiding a crash.

My primary responsibility last week was to rest, and I had to spend most of my time in bed. The extra rest proved to be so good for me! I began feeling a little better each day. My arms began regaining strength, and my brain fog has improved. Our hope was to avoid a bad crash, and I think we have.

This week I plan to start adding some more around-the-house activity back in and see how that goes. I am hoping that I will be able to slowly ease back into my normal routine without causing my body to crash.

That is what has been going on here lately! I’m not where I'd like to be right now, but this is the reality, so I’m working with it as best I can. In days like these, I am thankful that the joy of the Lord is my strength.

Five Minute Friday: Willing

Today I am participating in 5 Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker and her delightful blogging friends. We write for only five minutes without worrying about making everything perfect. This is quick and easy blogging, and it is just what I need today. This week's word is "willing."

Today in the Bible study I am working through we read Job 1:20-22: “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.’ In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong” (ESV).

I am always struck by Job’s response. It isn’t just one of grief; it is one of trust and worship. Am I so trusting? Would I be willing to worship God no matter what trouble came my way? What if I lost all of my children, my house, and my belongings? Would I be willing to come to God with an attitude of worship?

I like what Job says in chapter 2, verse 10, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

God is sovereign over all. I can trust God, knowing that nothing can come my way that has not first passed through the loving hand of the Father.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28, ESV).

Am I willing to worship God today in sickness?

I have been mostly stuck in bed this week, recovering from the last three months of health flare ups. It isn’t easy. It isn’t what I would have chosen. But it is what God ordained. This is the portion I have been given, and even this is for my good! I can trust and worship God while home-bound. Lord, may I always be willing to bow before you in worship.

Are you willing to worship God today no matter your circumstances?

Photo Credit

Marriage Letters: Once Upon a Time

Dear Will,

Two months ago we celebrated eleven years of marriage. So much has changed in that time. We are the same, but older, wiser, stronger as a couple, and more in love than ever before, and it’s a good thing.

Once upon a time we were just 22 and 21, living in Alaska, becoming good friends, and falling in love. The falling in love part took a little longer for me. Remember how I was afraid to trust you? How I was afraid to believe that you could really love me for the rest of my life, no matter how sick I became?

I was very healthy back then compared to what is normal for me now. But even still, I could feel in my body that I was growing weaker.  I knew that my future as a wife might look very different than what I hoped. I shared my fears with you and wondered if you really knew what you might be getting into. What if I was sick and couldn’t do all that a wife should do? Would you still stick around knowing that I might become really sick? Could I trust you with my heart?

It took some time, but I decided that I could, I should, and I would trust you. I would let you love me, and I would love you in return. I will never regret giving you my trust and my love. You have been faithful not just through the fun and easy beginning of marriage, but through the failing health and hard years of marriage. Your love and faithfulness has not wavered. As my body grows weaker, your love for me has grown stronger. I know that I am safe with you.

Thank you for loving me and for being faithful to me. Thank you for caring for me in sickness and in health. 

Love,
Rachel

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Amber and Seth Haines are writing Marriage Letters monthly on their blogs and inviting others to join them. The purpose of the letters is to look at where we are now and at where we have been. Through these letters we hope to encourage others who are just starting out or who are struggling in their marriages.

I plan to join in these monthly writings of Marriage Letters. Chronic illness in marriage presents unique challenges. Statistics show that over 75% of marriages with a chronic illness end in divorce. Marriage is challenging, and a chronic illness makes it even harder. I hope that through writing Marriage Letters each month I will be able to encourage those of you who are dealing with chronic illness in marriage.

For our 11th anniversary, Will wrote a letter to me on his blog. You can read it here. 

A Holiday Update

Hello friends! How was your Christmas? I hope that you have all had a good holiday season. I have missed chatting with you in this space. Here's an update from my house, and I would love to hear how you are doing too!

December and January have been rough months for me physically, but I am hopeful for better days ahead. I had a bad flare up with my gastroparesis early on in December. For almost a week I was on a soft foods/liquid diet, and even with that I couldn't eat much because my stomach wasn't emptying well. It is the longest I have gone without a substantial amount of food, and wow, fasting with a chronic illness is rough! Thankfully, things started improving after 6 days, and over the next couple of weeks I regained some strength and energy. And just in time to feel a little better for Christmas!

My parents and sister came to visit us over Christmas break. Before they came a friend asked me if it was going to be hard on me to have family visiting for Christmas. She was concerned that having extra people in our home would make extra work for me and wear me out. I told her that, no, they don't add any extra work to my plate! They all help to take care of William and Adelaide. My mom does all of the laundry while she is here, and she prepares meals. My dad fixes things around our house. As Adelaide says, "Opa can fix everything!" They even offer to babysit so that Will and I can go out for a date if I am up for it. Talk about helpful guests!

If I am too tired or have a migraine and have to go to bed, no one is offended. They all believe me when I say that I am not feeling well. They never pressure me to do more than I can or should physically. I wish that every person with a chronic illness could have a family as helpful as mine. I am truly blessed to have such a caring family.

We celebrated Fourth Advent together. Pictured above are my dad, mother, and William.

Here are William and Adelaide with my sister, Krista. And that's my plate of Christmas cookies and treats!

My mom suggested that we have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, and that was such a good idea. Spreading out the activity made it much easier on my energy levels. Will smoked a turkey on the grill. I helped Krista make the sunshine salad and roll up the crescent rolls. Those are easy tasks and I like to do what I can to help. My mom cooked everything else for us.

We all ate Christmas dinner in the living room because that is easier for me than sitting up at a regular table. I ate at the children's table while sitting in my chair from Arlene.

Adelaide and William on Christmas Day

William and Adelaide were so patient on Christmas morning. They knew that they had to wait until I was awake and out of bed before we could open presents. I don't think we started opening presents until the afternoon, but they waited patiently. When the time came to actually open presents, these are the excited faces that I got! Haha! I love those two.

We had such a nice visit with my parents and sister. It was refreshing and fun. I wish that everyone with a chronic illness could have a family as helpful and caring as mine. They are the best.

Merry Christmas!

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”  

Luke 2:8-11

Merry Christmas, friends!

Blessings and joy,
Rachel