Diamonds 2025: Courage

Diamonds 2025 is coming this weekend!

This is for the one facing a medical decision they have no idea how to make.

This is for the chronic illness warrior overwhelmed by financial strain.

This is for the one wondering why God feels so far away in their suffering.

This is for the person who doesn’t know how to ask for help.

This is for the one facing the unknown.

Do you need courage?

You are not alone. 

That’s why I’m so excited to be speaking at Diamonds 2025: Courage.

I’m joining 20 speakers and authors, who are themselves facing chronic illness, for a three-day conference designed especially for Christians facing long-term health challenges.

Click here to register for free!

I am going to be speaking about Courage for Today. During my session, I will be sharing about six things specifically that can give you courage to face another day of chronic illness. I would love to have you join me! My session will be on Saturday, January 25 at 2:40 Pacific Time.

More details about the conference:

When?

January 24-26, 2025

Where?

Online, so you can attend from anywhere!

Cost?

Free while it is live, recordings available for purchase afterward.

Who?

Everyone facing long-term health challenges, or who loves someone facing them.

There is a study guide available for the conference. You can find it here on Amazon. Both paperback and kindle are available. 

Click here to register for Diamonds 2025: Courage. I hope to see you there!

Homebound Saints Need the Body of Christ

Dr. Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, recently received a thought-provoking question on his podcast, The Briefing. A listener wrote in and said, "I’m a Christian who has been bed-bound for the last four years because of ALS. What do I do now that I can’t attend church physically? I feel myself drifting apart from the Word and my hunger for it. I know that I’m doing wrong, but I can’t bring myself to read it consistently. Besides praying and asking for the Lord to return my love for His Word again, what can I do?”

I greatly appreciated Dr. Mohler’s answer. He gave kind and gentle encouragement to the man who was homebound with ALS. There was no criticism in his response. He didn’t tell the man to simply read Scripture more and pray more. Instead, he rightly explained that the local church has the responsibility to serve and help this man in his spiritual walk with the Lord. Dr. Mohler gave a charge to churches to stand up and graciously, lovingly, and boldly come alongside homebound saints.

As a person who is primarily homebound, it was equal parts shocking and wonderful to hear someone make such a bold statement! Until I listened to this podcast episode, I do not believe I had ever heard a healthy person publicly state that the church has a responsibility to minister to its homebound members. It was a relief and an encouragement to hear Dr. Mohler’s charge to the church to come alongside those who are homebound. I hope and pray that God will use Dr. Mohler’s words in his podcast to spur churches on to change in this area.

Sadly, the homebound are often a neglected part of the body of Christ. Over the past twenty years, I have privately heard stories of deep pain and neglect from fellow chronically ill and homebound believers across the world. I also have my own stories of hurt that only those closest to me know. Based on my experience, and the stories I have heard, this seems to be a widespread problem in churches. It grieves me to say that spiritual and physical needs of homebound members are often neglected.

I do not believe the neglect is intentional. I think often it is a case of “out of sight, out of mind.” A local church congregation does not see its homebound members regularly, if at all, so they do not think about them. The church is happy to speak with homebound members if they are able to make it to a service on a rare occasion, but they do not think to befriend someone who cannot typically leave home. Perhaps churches think a homebound person needs rest, so they do not want to call or ask about visiting and “bother” them. Instead, their names are added to a prayer sheet, and the care stops at prayer.

I do not write this post for myself. I write this on behalf of those who cannot speak up themselves. I write this for those who are spiritually languishing in their homes, praying, hoping, and waiting for their church to understand the need. I write this for those who have reached out to their church, asking for encouragement and help, and have received little to no response. I write this for those who need someone to reach out to them with friendship and spiritual encouragement because they are too lonely and discouraged to try again.

Believers are not meant to live the Christian life alone, but homebound saints often do. The homebound and chronically ill are there in your church and in your neighborhood. They may be in their home, in an assisted living center, or in a nursing home. They may live alone, with a spouse, with a roommate, or with their family. Wherever they are, they need you! They need practical service, and they need spiritual encouragement. Please do not assume that someone else is already visiting them and encouraging them in the Lord. That may not be the case, and the homebound saints need the body of Christ.

Being homebound is lonely and hard. If you know someone who is homebound, will you please step into their lives? Will you befriend them in their homes? Will you minister to their physical and spiritual needs? Will you encourage them when their spirits grow weak?

I know that there are many churches who do minister to their homebound brothers and sisters in Christ. And I praise the Lord for churches such as these! There are also individual Christians who reach out with care and friendship to the homebound, and these friends are a treasure to those who are blessed to have them. Every homebound believer needs a church and Christian friends such as these.

Dear church, please do not neglect the homebound saints in your congregation. They may not be able to physically attend services, but they are part of your local body, and they need you. Not only that—you need them! You will suffer if just one part of the body is neglected. The church needs its chronically ill, disabled, and homebound members. They are indispensable. Embrace them, love them, and serve them. And in the process, you may find that you are blessed in return.

“But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-22

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash.

Unstuck: Moving from Resentment to Resilience While Living with Dystonia

 

I first met Abigail Brown back in 2014 when we both participated in the 35th Anniversary Blog Contest for Joni and Friends. Abigail's blog post entry was my favorite! As we became online friends, I was impressed with this woman's determination to know God and to glorify Him in her life. I was challenged by the way she reached out to others with a humble heart of service. I was captivated by her artwork.

It has been a delight to get to know Abigail over the years and see the way her art and ministry have grown. And I am thrilled to share that Abigail's first book has been published!

Unstuck: Moving from Resentment to Resilience While Living with Dystonia is now available on Amazon and other favorite book retailers. I had the joy of reading a pre-release copy of Unstuck, and I enjoyed it very much! 

Abigail writes about her life and struggles with Dystonia. She shares how she overcame resentment and self-pity. This book will be helpful not just for those with dystonia, chronic illness, or disabilities, but for anyone struggling with self-pity because of challenges they wish they didn't have to face.

At the end of each chapter, there is a helpful section for reflection. Abigail asks questions for the reader to consider, and she spurs the reader on the action and change.

Unstuck is filled with Scripture, personal stories, thought-provoking questions, and helpful strategies, This book will help you to move from resentment to resilience in your life through whatever struggles you are facing. It is a book I benefitted from, and I plan to read it again!

If you want to hear more from Abigail, check out her website, her online art shop, and this recent interview! And of course, hop on over to Amazon if you'd like to buy a copy of her book!

Diamonds 2024: Journeying

The Diamonds Conference is coming again soon! This is a conference for Christians living with chronic illness and health challenges. You are invited to join us! The conference is free while it is live for the weekend of March 15-17. This year the theme is Journeying.

We want to meet you wherever you are on your chronic illness journey. Whether you are undiagnosed, newly diagnosed, grieving, flaring, recovering, caregiving, struggling, or rejoicing, this conference is for you.

I will be speaking about "Provisions for the Journey: Enjoying the Gifts of God's Word and Prayer on the Chronic Illness Journey."

Will is going to be speaking at the conference this year too! He will be speaking about "Tents, Temples, and the City of God: A Biblical Theology of the God Who Journeys with Us."

If you would like to join us, you may register here. If you can't make it to the live conference, there are All-Access Passes available for purchase. These passes give full access to the conference videos at anytime.

If you are going to be attending the conference, I recommend grabbing a copy of the study guide. The Kindle copies are super cheap! But if you prefer a physical copy, those are reasonably priced as well.

If you need encouragement, or if you need to find friends for your chronic illness journey, I hope you join us for the conference! It would be great to see you there!

When Prayers for Healing Hurt

Five years ago I was talking with Will about how painful it is when people say they are praying for my healing. It's something that isn't often spoken of by those with chronic illnesses, but when people pray for our healing, sometimes it just hurts. After I cried and poured out my heart to Will, he told me, "You need to blog about this. Don't post it right now. But someday, you need to post it."

Someday has come. Here is my post from five years ago.

Photo by Ruben Hutabarat on Unsplash

October 16, 2017

I have lived with a chronic illness for 22 years. For the past 13 years this illness has been disabling to the point that I am primarily confined to my home due to extreme fatigue. And even when I am in my home, I have to be in bed resting for 18 hours a day or more.

I have prayed for healing, but so far God’s answer to that request has been, “no.” Over the years of illness I have learned to pray for new things – strength to persevere, a heart of compassion for others, a spirit that is submissive to the Father’s plan, joy in painful circumstances, patience in suffering, a thirst for God’s Word, opportunities to share the gospel with others, that the Lord would use me because of my circumstances.

I fully believe that God could heal me. He is more than able to restore strength and energy to my body. But I have learned to be content with illness, and I rarely pray for healing anymore. 

My hope isn’t in healing. My hope is in Jesus.

My hope isn’t in better days. My hope is in Jesus.

My hope isn’t in having energy. My hope is in Jesus.

If God chooses to heal me someday, I will gratefully and gladly accept that. But it is a choice that I leave up to Him. I don’t spend much energy praying for healing anymore. Once or twice a year, in a moment of desperation, I cry out to the Lord, and I ask for healing. Through tears of sorrow and weariness, I ask for the illness to be taken away and for strength to be restored. I admit my weakness and weariness of the suffering, and I submit to God’s will, whatever that may be.

When Paul was given a thorn in his flesh, he pleaded with God three times for it to be taken away. And God said, “no.” God told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” There isn’t any indication that Paul continued to pray for relief. Instead, he accepted the Father’s will.

When someone tells me that they are praying for my healing, and they don’t say they are praying for anything else… it hurts. When healing is the primary focus of someone’s prayers for me, it feels like a rejection of me as a person. Like something is so wrong that it must be fixed before I can have a happy and productive life.

I wish that instead of staying on the outside and praying for my healing that people would step into my life, as it is, and be my friend in the here and now. I wish that people would join me in my limitations, accept me for who I am, and see the value in my life as it is right now.

For more than 20 years people have been praying for my healing, and for 20 years God has said no. I am content with that. I am willing to leave the choice up to Him. I am willing to wait until Heaven for my healing. If God wants to heal me before then, great! I’ll take it! But in the meantime, I want to embrace the life He has given me. I want to live the life I have!

Will you join me? Will you step into my broken life? Will you be my friend in sickness? Will you pray for my spiritual strength and endurance? Will you pray for my peace? Will you pray that God will comfort me in my loneliness? Will you step into my loneliness and be my friend? Will you pray that I will have opportunities to share the gospel? Will you pray that I will suffer well? Will you pray that I will gladly submit to God’s plan for my life? Will you pray for wisdom for me as a wife and mother and friend? Will you pray for me to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer?

And after you have prayed for all of those things, if you are so inclined, you are welcome to pray for my healing too. But please don’t only pray for my healing. There is spiritual help that I need before I need any physical healing.

If you have a friend who is suffering from a chronic illness or disability, ask her what she would like you to pray for. You may be surprised to learn that physical healing isn’t her greatest desire or need.

Do you live with a chronic illness or disability? Do you have a spouse or child with a disability? How do you wish people would pray for you?

Life with Three

Hello friends! I miss chatting with you regularly in this space. My time and energy is completely maxed out on most days, which leaves little strength or mental clarity for writing a blog post at the end of the day. I am still trying to figure out how to blog in this new season of life with three children. I need to remember to come here occasionally just to write a simple post or share a few pictures from daily life. I can probably manage that better than writing a “real” blog post. So today, here are a few pictures and thoughts on life with three!

Life was hard before we had Stafford. And adding another small member to the family has brought many more challenges. But it has also brought so much joy and laughter. We love having a little one in our family! I know we were happy before Stafford came along, but the happiness has been multiplied now by the simple addition of one family member.

Life with a baby, and now a toddler, has been a good and wonderful transition. It is hard, but it is totally worth it! I am so thankful that the Lord blessed us with this little one.

Someday I will be able to blog more often again. Meanwhile, I’m soaking up the time with my children, falling in bed tired at the end of the day, and thanking the Lord for the blessing of this good life.

Favorite Books of 2018

Last year I had a goal of reading 15 books. I knew I wouldn't be able to do much reading after Stafford was born, so I kept my goal pretty low. I was able to reach my goal, but I must admit that several of my books were very short!

Here are four of my favorite books from last year:

The Gospel According to Paul by John MacArthur

This is a wonderful book! John MacArthur clearly explains the gospel as it is taught through the letters of Paul in the Bible. Reading this book helped me to appreciate even more the sacrifice of Jesus on my behalf and to marvel at the beauty of the gospel. The Gospel According to Paul is a must-read!

Glorious Intruder by Joni Eareckson Tada

I often read a chapter in this book at night before falling asleep, and I’m so grateful for Joni’s encouragement through this book during a difficult year for me. No matter what you are suffering through in life, Joni’s words will help to encourage your heart and strengthen your spirit. This book contains very short chapters, which is very helpful for those who struggle with reading or brain fog.

Doing Life Together by Debbie Lillo

This is a great little book, and it is available for free on Kindle. Doing Life Together is a good resource for individuals and churches who wish to reach out to families affected by disability. It is very applicable for families who are affected by a disabling chronic illness as well. If someone came to me and asked for tips on how to reach out to the chronically ill in their church, this is one of the first books I would recommend.

God’s Very Good Idea by Trillia Newbell

Trillia has written a wonderful children’s book that shares the Gospel and God’s plan for a diverse people to worship Him. God’s Very Good Idea is filled with fun and colorful illustrations, and it will be a delight for parents and children to read together.


This year I have a goal of reading 20 books. I'm keeping up so far, but just barely!

What were your favorite books from last year? What books are you enjoying currently?

Introducing Stafford

I am happy to announce that our little Stafford is here! He is a sweet and content baby, and he loves to be snuggled and held. We thank the Lord for this precious gift.

Stafford was 8 pounds, 10 ounces when he was born. He was my smallest baby! It has been fun to have a "tiny" baby for the first time.

We are thrilled to have Stafford in our arms now! We are exhausted too. Life is hard, but we are doing pretty well, and we are adjusting to life with a newborn.

William and Adelaide are great as big brother and big sister. They are a help to us, and they love to hold their baby brother. Stafford loves to spend time with them too.

Will continues on with law school, work, and taking care of his family. He is sleep deprived, but somehow he manages to keep things running here at home. Thankfully the end of the semester is coming up soon, and the break from school will enable Will to get more sleep. We are really looking forward to summer when he won't have homework to do every night.

My recovery is going as well as can be expected. I am very tired, and I don't think that will go away anytime soon. My doctor's orders are to do nothing but rest, recover, and take care of my baby. So for now I am mostly just eating, sleeping, and feeding Stafford. It's an exhausting, wonderful, hard, and happy life.

I had a C-section with Stafford, so I was in a lot of pain for the first two weeks. I still have pain, and will for quite some time, but it isn't too bad anymore. The nice thing about having a C-section is that my body doesn't get exhausted from labor and delivery. This allows me more time to hold my baby and enjoy him in the newborn stage. I get to wear myself out taking care of a baby instead of wearing myself out going through labor.

So far I have not had a bad crash, and I am thankful for that. I know it will become much harder for me to take care of Stafford once he is mobile and no longer sleeping all day. There are probably still some very hard days ahead. I'm trying not to think about that for now. I'm trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy these moments as best I can.

I love holding Stafford and taking care of him. I am thankful that I have been able to do quite a bit of the baby care so far. I can feel my arms and legs becoming weaker from all of the exertion, but it is worth it. And whatever crash may come -- this baby is worth it.

God has been so good to us. He has blessed us with another child, and He has provided the extra help we need. My parents were here to help out when Stafford was born, and they will be coming again this spring to help out for a while. Our church and friends have provided help as well. As my needs increase there are some who are willing to step in and help out more.

And you, dear readers, have been an encouragement to me. Thank you for your prayers and support during this time of welcoming a new baby into our family.

I won’t be able to blog again for a long time, but I do hope to share short updates on Instagram and Facebook. You are welcome to check in with me there. You are also still welcome to email me. I do appreciate every email, but I likely won't be able to reply, and I thank you for understanding.

I don't know when I will start blogging again, or if I will be able to write regularly once I do start writing again. If you would like, you may subscribe here so that you receive an email whenever I publish a new post.

I am thankful for you, dear reader and friend. Thank you for being here at Cranberry Tea Time. Thank you for sharing in the joy of the birth of Stafford!

Teatime Conversations: Ideas and Resources for Chronically Ill Mother and Daughter

Reader Question: I'm a solo mother with a chronic illness. I can't work in paid employment, but am still able to help my 14 year old daughter homeschool. She has been getting sick, tired, suffering from chronic pain, and we are in the process of getting a diagnosis. I want to be able to lighten her burden and have more fun with her as she is very mature for her age, but has had to shoulder a huge burden over these years. I've been trying to think of things I can do with the limited energy we have that would be fun, lighten her load and mood, or just make things easier for her. I've been working slowly on decluttering and setting up systems to use less energy, watching movies together, helping her sew upcycled clothes and so on, and listen to her as much as I can. If you could offer any ideas, resources, and so on, I'd be grateful :) Thank you.

My heart goes out to you, friend. It sounds like both you and your daughter are facing a lot of challenges. Living with a chronic illness is hard enough, and being a single parent on top of that must be even more physically challenging. You and your daughter have been in my prayers today.

That is wonderful that you are able to homeschool your daughter. What a good gift to give to her. With her chronic illness, it is probably especially helpful for her to be at home for school. I can tell that you love your daughter very much and that you are doing all you can to serve her and take good care of her. You are a loving and courageous mom.

I have been brainstorming lately to think of fun things you can do with your daughter and practical things that might make life easier. I’ve also been thinking about other organizations that might have resources, help, or practical tips for you. I hope some of my readers will chime in with their ideas too!


Fun things to do together:

• Start a simple book club. This could be just the two of you reading and discussing a book together. Or if you are up for it, you could invite another mother and daughter to join you in reading a book and then coming over to your home to discuss it.
• Do a Bible study together. Like a book club, this could be something for just you and your daughter, or you could invite another mother and daughter to join you for a regular Bible study.
• Watch a True Woman conference. I have always enjoyed these conferences and the ability to watch from home. This year’s True Woman conference will be September 27-29, and they always offer an online live-stream for free. You and your daughter could attend a conference together from the comfort of your home! Revive Our Hearts also makes all of their main speaker sessions available for free online, so you can watch sessions from past year’s conferences too.
• Attend a Joni and Friends family retreat. I don’t know if this would be too exhausting for you and your daughter. I have never been to a Joni and Friends family retreat, but I have heard so many good things about them. Maybe there would be a family retreat close enough that you could attend. There is a cost for the week, but Joni and Friends also offers scholarships, and that might help to make it affordable. 
• Start a blog. If you and your daughter enjoy writing, you could start a blog together. The two of you would have a unique perspective to offer as a mother and daughter who are facing chronic illness together. Or you could write a blog that has nothing to do with chronic illness. Maybe you could share about the upcycled clothing items you are making. You could take pictures and make tutorials for those who want to learn how to alter clothing and make something new.
• Try new crafts together. YouTube has lots of tutorial videos for crafts. Maybe there is a new craft you and your daughter would enjoy together – perhaps knitting, crocheting, painting, quilting, or card making.
• Try out a new board game or card game. Cribbage is one of my favorite games. Pente is another fun game for two people. Maybe there are new-to-you games that you and your daughter would enjoy.
• Participate in a service project. Is there something you and your daughter could do from home to serve others? It could be praying for the needs in your church, praying for a ministry you want to support, sending cards to others in your church or community who need encouragement, making baby hats to donate to your local hospital, or making a blanket for an elderly or chronically ill person in your church.
• Watch television or movies together. You did mention this in your message to me, but I think it is worth repeating. There are many days with chronic illness when brain fog and fatigue make it impossible to read, do a craft, or do anything that requires much thinking. Sometimes watching tv is a wise use a of time. And if that is what you need to do with your daughter, then enjoy your time together watching tv!

Tools for making life easier:

I don’t know exactly what your needs and your daughter’s needs are, but here are some tools that have been helpful for me. Maybe they would be for the two of you as well.

• A lap desk. Having a lap desk has made it much easier for me to use my laptop computer while in bed or in my recliner.
• A recliner. I do many things from my recliner – read, eat, scrapbook, work on taxes, talk, rest, and look outside. On the “bad days”, a recliner can enable me to be out in the living room with my family for a short time when I might otherwise have to be in bed.
• A Kindle. There are days when my arms are too tired to hold open a book, but I am able to still read if I have my kindle. I can prop up the kindle, and then all I have to do to turn the page is a simple tap on the screen. 
• Shower stool. A shower stool makes showers less exhausting. If fainting is a risk, it can also help to lessen that risk. 
• Mobility aids. A seat cane, wheelchair, and/or walker can make getting around the house easier. I have all three of these, and I use them at different times in the day depending on what my needs and energy levels are in the moment.

Resources for further help:

• Joni and Friends response department. Joni and Friends does an excellent job in encouraging and supporting those affected by disability. You can contact Joni and Friends to ask for prayer, encouragement, information, resources, and more. They always send a kind, helpful, and gracious reply.
• Online chronic illness community. There are ideas and support to be found through the chronic illness community online. This can be through blogs, Facebook groups, and websites and online forums for specific illnesses. If you are interested, you can find some of my favorite blogs, books, websites, and forums on the Resources page.
• Your local church. I don't know if you have a good local church or not. If you do, it would be helpful to let your elders and deacons know of the struggles you and your daughter are facing. The church may be able to offer some practical help or sponsor you to attend a Joni and Friends family retreat. If you aren't part of a local church, I recommend looking for a good church near you. 9Marks has a helpful online church searching tool. 
• Local Joni and Friends office. Your regional Joni and Friends office may be able to share about local help and resources. They may also be able to help connect you with a local church that has programs available for people with a chronic illness or disability.
• Independent Living Center. Your local Independent Living Center may have ideas for resources in your area. Sometimes they also have durable medical equipment they can loan to you if you need it.

Cranberry Tea Time friends - we would love to hear from you! What ideas do you have for fun things this mom and daughter can do together? What things might make life easier for them? What resources have you found helpful??

Preparing for Stafford: The Fun Stuff

A small glimpse of Stafford's face at his 33 week ultrasound.

It is incredibly hard to take care of a baby when you suffer from low energy levels and post exertional malaise. Over the past nearly eight months I have been doing what I can to prepare and make life as easy as possible after Stafford arrives. Today I’m sharing about some of the fun and practical baby preparations. I hope this will be helpful for some of you who have a chronic illness and a baby on the way. And if you don’t, maybe it will be interesting to see what we’re doing.

In addition to all of the fun baby preparations, I have also been working on things that aren’t your typical baby preparations. Life will be much more tiring for me with a baby, and I know that I won’t be able to do most of my normal tasks after Stafford comes, so I have been working ahead of time on what I can.

Here are some of the things we have done, or will do, to make life as easy as possible with a new baby.

We put a co-sleeper in our bedroom. This is something new we are trying with Stafford. When William and Adelaide were babies we used a cradle in the bedroom, but I am no longer healthy enough to sit up, or stand up, and pick a baby up out of a cradle on a regular basis. I am hoping that with the co-sleeper I will be able to reach over and bring Stafford close to me while I am still lying down. I hope that this will make it possible for me to do some of the night time feedings and take care of Stafford in the mornings. It may not help enough, and it may only extend my night and morning time with Stafford by a few days or a few weeks. But it is important enough to me that it was worth the money to buy a co-sleeper and give it a try.

We have set up diaper changing areas on the floor in the living room and in our bedroom. I am not able to stand up long enough (or safely enough) to change a baby’s diaper at a changing table, so we have always done this on the floor. My only concern right now is that I am struggling to stand back up after getting down on the floor. So I’m sure there will be many times that I do diaper changes next to me on the bed or recliner.

We will keep bottle feedings at night as simple as possible. In the past it has worked well for us to have a full water bottle and several baby bottles with pre-measured powdered formula in them. Then when Stafford is hungry, we pour in the right amount of water, give a gentle shake, and begin to feed. We don't use a bottle warmer or go to the kitchen to warm up a bottle. We will just use room temperature water.

I have clothes washed and sorted for Stafford for the first year. Babies grow quickly, and I know that I won’t have much energy for buying clothes after Stafford is born. In the fall I went to a couple of rummage sales and bought a lot of baby clothes. We have also been blessed with hand-me-downs and some clothing gifts. I will probably find that there are a few clothing items I am missing as the year goes on, but for the most part I have enough clothes for Stafford for the first year (and even quite a few clothes for the next couple of years!). I have sorted all of the clothes, and they are in labeled bags and plastic tubs in the basement. When I need a new size of clothes, all I have to do is ask Will to go downstairs and grab the next size up!

We put a cradle in the living room. When I feel well enough in the afternoons, I want to be out in the living room. Walking back and forth to put Stafford down for naps in a bedroom won’t be possible, so he will sleep in the cradle next to my chair.

I have a baby wrap carrier to use at home. I have never tried one of these before, so I am not sure if it will be helpful or not. I am hoping that it will make it easier for me to hold Stafford when my arms are tired.

I will use a Boppy often. My mom bought one of these for me, and it will come in very handy whenever I am sitting to hold Stafford or feed him. I plan to bring the Boppy to the hospital too.

My wheelchair is being kept next to the kitchen so that I can use it every day. It is hard for me to walk around the kitchen and prepare a snack or a baby bottle, even when I am using Cordell (my walker). It is much easier to wheel around in my wheelchair. It saves energy, and it helps to prevent my blood from pooling as badly. I don’t like having one more piece of durable medical equipment to take up space in our home, but it is a necessity. I wish we had wood or laminate flooring throughout the house so that I could use my wheelchair everywhere. That would make getting around so much easier! It is too hard on most days for me to wheel myself on the carpet. But if needed, I can have a friend or family member push me in my wheelchair to get me where I need to go in the house.

Crocheting has been one of the most fun things to do in preparation for Stafford’s arrival. It isn’t absolutely necessary, but it brings joy to my heart. I crocheted a blanket for Stafford this fall. I have also crocheted several hats and shoes. I hope to crochet a few more hats and shoes in the next few weeks. Yesterday I finished a second baby blanket for Stafford. I can’t wait to show you this one! I’ll share about it in a Busy Hands post next week.

I have written and addressed birthday cards for our nieces and nephews for their birthdays this year. The envelopes have sticky notes on them with the date they need to be mailed. If I feel well enough throughout the year, I will also send birthday cards to our brothers and sisters, their spouses, and our parents. But if I can’t, at least the kids will still receive their cards.

I am hoping to have Easter baskets for William and Adelaide and Stafford filled and ready to go by the end of the month. I will hide the baskets in the closet until Easter. I always enjoy putting a few small gifts and some Easter candy in my children’s Easter baskets each year, and I don’t want to skip that tradition this year if I don’t have to. As soon as the stores start selling Easter candy, I hope to be able to get some, fill three Easter baskets, and put them in the closet to pull out on Easter Sunday. But Stafford doesn’t get candy; he gets a onesie and a board book!

I have clothing sorted into labeled boxes for Adelaide for the next two years. Between rummage sale shopping I did this fall, and some wonderful hand-me-downs from a cousin, Adelaide has many of the clothes she will need in the next couple of years. This will be helpful because it will save me a lot of time and energy that I would otherwise have to spend shopping or sorting through hand-me-down sizes later on. This winter I sorted the clothes into boxes that are each labeled with her name and the size. When Adelaide grows, I can let Will know what size she needs, and he can get the labeled box from the basement for me.

I have prepared to pass on the bill paying responsibilities to Will if need be. I am usually the one to keep track of finances and pay bills because it is a task I can do while lying down in bed. But if I become too physically exhausted or brain fogged, then I need to be able to easily hand this stuff over to Will. I have typed up a list of which bills are due when, how they are paid, etc. I hope that I will be able to continue to help Will by taking care of the bill paying, but if I cannot, at least everything is organized and ready to pass over to him.

I have talked with my local friends about what is likely to happen with my health after Stafford is born, and I have shared about the kind of help I will need in the months to come. I have had a few health crashes since moving to Minnesota six years ago, but none of them have been as severe as the crash I had when Adelaide was a baby. No one here has seen me that sick, so it was important to let my friends know what could happen again. Two of my friends have overwhelmed me with their love and support and offers of significant, practical help. I have also let our church know what my specific needs are right now, and what my needs will likely be in the coming months and years. Our church is currently helping us with meals, and they are talking about other ways they can help us after Stafford is born.

Do you have any other ideas to make life as easy as possible with a newborn? I would love to hear! I want to be as prepared as I can be for the challenges ahead!

Teatime Conversations: Coping as a Less-than-Energetic Mom

Reader Question: What sorts of things help you to cope with your identity as a less-than-energetic mum?

It helps me to remember that this is the life God has called me to. He has made me a mother. He has chosen William, Adelaide, and Stafford to be my children. And He has chosen for me to live with dysautonomia. God is in control, and He is sovereign over all things, even illnesses and disabilities. I fully believe that God could heal me if He chose to do so, but He has chosen not to bring healing to my body. Instead He has called me to glorify Him as a disabled wife and mother. I trust that He has a plan and a purpose in this, even though it doesn’t seem best to me. It brings me comfort to know that God is using this for my good and for the good of my family (Romans 8:28).

I am certainly a less-than-energetic mom, but I am not only that. I am a less-than-energetic mom who is in Christ. I am a child of God (John 1:12), and I have an inheritance with Christ (Romans 8:16-18). There is reward coming! My faithfulness today as a less-than-energetic mom will be rewarded in Heaven in the future. Knowing this helps me to persevere.

Ultimately my life as a disabled mom is to be lived for the Lord. As I set my mind on things above, I remember that my “life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:1-3). My life is secure in Him, and my life has purpose and meaning no matter how sick I become.

I don’t do these things well every day. I don’t always live like my life is hidden with Christ. I don’t always seek the things that are above. I’m not always faithful to glorify God as a less-than-energetic mom. Sometimes I become overwhelmed by the difficulties in life, and I need to be reminded of the hope I have in Christ and the ultimate purpose of my life. I need to be reminded to embrace the life God has called me to live.

These are some verses that have helped me to persevere as a chronically ill mom. I hope they encourage you too.

• John 1:12
• Galatians 2:20
• Colossians 3:1-4 
• 1 Peter 2:9-10
• Ephesians 1:1-2:22
• 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
• Romans 8:14-18
• Romans 8:35-39

In addition to keeping in mind the “big picture” purpose of my life, there are a few practical things I am intentional in doing as a mom in order to maximize my interaction with my children. These are some practical ways that I embrace my role as a disabled mother.

• Leave little notes for my children on special days or just because. Occasionally before I go to sleep at night I put notes on the floor outside of my children's bedroom doors so that they will see them when they get up in the morning. Sometimes it is “just because” and contains only a silly joke. Other times it might be a note wishing them a good day on a field trip.

• Decorate my children’s doors the night before their birthdays. I sleep in until about 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning on most days, which means that I don’t always get to see my kids on the morning of their birthdays. They are usually at school before I wake up, so on the night before their birthday, I decorate their bedroom doors with something fun like streamers or balloons. One year I forgot to buy anything fun, so William woke up to a doorway covered in toilet paper!

• Whenever possible I allow my children to come in to talk to me when I am resting in bed. I can only be out of bed for about 4 or 5 hours on an average day. Much of my awake time has to be spent resting in a quiet bedroom. But even when I am resting, if I am awake, I like to be as available as possible for my children. They know that they can come in and see me anytime I am not sleeping. They might come in to tell me a funny story, ask me a question, show me a Lego project they are building, or just talk. Sometimes we talk for 15 minutes or more; sometimes I can only talk for 30 seconds. But by being willing to talk as long as possible, William and Adelaide have learned to trust that I like being with them and talking with them, and that makes it easier on them when I have to say that I need to be alone and rest.

• Have my children come tell me good night. I usually have to go to bed by 6:00, so my kids stay up later than I do. Will does the night time routine and puts the kids to bed, but before they go to bed, they come in to see me and give me good night hugs and kisses. This gives me one more chance to see my children during the day and tell them that I love them.

• Do chores with my kids. I like to work alongside my children when I am able. Instead of assigning them chores to go off and do alone, we work together. Now that William and Adelaide are 12 and 8, I am able to do some chores at home that I could not do previously, simply because now I have their help! They can do my “walking around stuff” as I call it, and they can move boxes or bring things to me as I give directions. Their effort enables me to get more things done, and we have fun working together.

• Watch movies together on the “bad days.” When I don’t have energy for anything more than watching a movie, but I need to spend time with my kids, then we have a movie day. We might make some popcorn or grab some fun snacks too. But mostly we hang out on the sofa and just watch movies. 

• Find creative ways to do tasks. This means that I do a lot of things while sitting or lying down. We play board games while I lie down on the floor. Sometimes I brush Adelaide’s hair while I am lying in bed. I often help with homework while lying down on the sofa. One time my children and I made Christmas treats while sitting on the floor.

• Let my children help me. This takes humility. It’s not always easy to ask our children for help, but most of the time I find that William and Adelaide are glad to help me. They especially like it when I need help taking my compression socks off. It gives them quite a workout to tug those tight socks off when they are young, and they like the challenge!

One final thing I will mention that helps me is grieving occasionally. If you are a chronically ill mom, there are real losses you have faced, and it is good and appropriate to grieve them. Being sad at times about all that you cannot do as a mom is completely understandable. I like what John Piper says: “Occasionally, weep deeply over the life that you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Feel the pain. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life that he’s given you.”

Photo by Bruno Nascimento

If you are a chronically ill mom, my encouragement to you today is to love your children well in the ways in which you are able. Focus on doing what you can. Be creative in finding ways to be with your children, or to communicate with your children, when illness limits your energy. Grieve the losses, but do not despair. Embrace the life God has given you and the motherhood He has called you to.

The God who sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you can be trusted with what you are going through. When He takes away your energy, you can be certain that He will bring good from it. God has a plan and a purpose in your illness, and if you know Him, then He can, and will, use it for your ultimate good. If your children know Jesus, then He will use it for their ultimate good too. You are an heir with Christ, and you will be rewarded in Heaven for your faithfulness as a less-than-energetic mom.


We would love to hear from you! If you have a chronic illness, what has helped you to cope with your identity as a less-than-energetic mother? How would you encourage a chronically ill mom?

Favorite Books of 2017

I enjoyed reading plenty of books in 2017. I finished 43 books in the year, and I started a few more. My reading goals are not as ambitious for 2018. My goal this year is to read 15 books, and I hope to finish most of them before Stafford is born.

Here are my favorite books from 2017:

Gracelaced by Ruth Chou Simons

Gracelaced is one of the most beautiful and encouraging devotion books I have ever read! Each page is illustrated by Ruth, who is both an author and an artist. Her devotions are rich and encouraging for whatever season of life you find yourself in.

The Wonder Within You by Carey Wickersham

This is a pregnancy book that is written from a Christian perspective. It is filled with helpful information, stories from other moms, and journaling prompts. There is also a pregnancy calendar with stickers to keep a record of milestones in pregnancy. I am enjoying reading and journaling through this book during my pregnancy with Stafford.

Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northup

This was a sad book to read, but I am so glad I read it. Twelve Years a Slave was written by a black man who was free for the first 30 years of his life, but then he was kidnapped and sold into slavery. After being freed from slavery, he wrote a book about his twelve years in slavery. This book provides a glimpse into the horrors of slavery in America.


United by Trillia Newbell

This is a great book about pursuing diversity in our friendships and in our churches. Trillia Newbell writes with grace and wisdom. I appreciated reading stories of her experiences growing up as an African American and her experiences in the church. This is a good book for all believers to read and be challenged by.


Happiness by Randy Alcorn

Happiness is a book that I will keep on my shelf as a reference for years to come. I highly recommend it. This is a message that is needed by Christians today, and it is a message that is needed by the world. There is true and lasting happiness to be found, and that happiness is found in knowing Jesus Christ as your Savior and living for Him alone. You can read my full review here.


A Lifetime of Wisdom by Joni Eareckson Tada

Joni is my favorite author, so it is no surprise that one of her books would again find its way onto my list of favorite books from my year of reading. A Lifetime of Wisdom was written after Joni had been a quadriplegic for 40 years (she has now lived with quadriplegia for over 50 years). In each chapter Joni briefly shares her thoughts and experiences from the early weeks and years after her diving accident, and then in the rest of the chapter she shares with the wisdom and the perspective of a woman who has walked with the Lord through 40 years of quadriplegia. It was encouraging to see how the Lord has worked in her life over the years, using suffering to make her more like Jesus.


What were your favorite books from last year? What are you reading currently?

A Day in the Life

Many of you have told me that my "day in the life" blog posts are your favorite. It has been nearly four years since I wrote a day in the life post, so I decided it was time to do a new one. What follows isn't a "bad day" or a "good day." On a bad day I would primarily be confined to bed. On a good day you would be surprised at how much I can do. But on an average day, this is what life is like right now. 

Life is about to change a lot in March when we welcome our new baby. I am hoping I can write another "day in the life" post sometime in the year after Stafford is here. Daily life will be quite different for me then!

A Day in the Life

Monday, December 11, 2017

6:30 am - Will is getting the children up and ready for school. I am very sleepy, but wide awake. I am also hungry, so I eat the fruit that is sitting next to my bed for breakfast.

7:00 - I am not able to fall back asleep, so I read for a while.

9:40 - I feel best when I can sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning, but today sleep isn’t coming. I decide to get up and get the coffee that is waiting for me in the bathroom. Will always puts the coffee pot and my coffee cup on the bathroom counter for me before he goes to work so that I don’t have to walk all the way out to the kitchen to get it.

I go back to bed with my coffee, put my laptop on the bed, and turn it on. I check email and catch up on blog reading. I take my morning medications and vitamins, eat the rest of my breakfast, and drink my coffee. Now that I am awake enough, I also have my morning devotion and Bible reading time.

10:30 - I'm too sleepy to do anything anymore. I put my head under the pillow and pray until I fall asleep.

11:30 - I begin to wake up after sleeping for almost an hour, but then I keep falling back asleep.

12:20 pm - I open the curtain and try to convince my body to wake up. Will is going to be home for lunch anytime now, and I have things I need to do this afternoon. I need my brain and body to wake up!

12:25 - Will comes home for his lunch break. We talk for a few minutes, and then he heads out to the kitchen to make lunch. When lunch is ready, he brings it into the bedroom where I am still resting. I eat while lying down in bed, and Will sits on the bed and joins me for lunch.

1:25 - Will goes back to work. I open up my laptop and work on finishing a guest post while trying to ignore the migraine aura in the center of my vision.

1:50 - I put aside the guest post for now. I want to wait another hour and then read it again to see if it needs any final edits. The migraine aura is fading, and I am getting a headache now. I decide to take some Tylenol (since it is all I'm allowed during pregnancy) and hope this will remain a mild migraine.

I only have an hour and a half before the kids get home from school. I need to get some paperwork done while the house is still quiet. I get up and get dressed for the day. I struggle to put my compression garments on. The compression helps to prevent my blood from pooling while sitting and standing. They are very helpful for me, but putting them on is exhausting! By the time I have tugged everything on, my heart is racing, and I am breathing hard.

I take some midodrine to keep my blood pressure up while I am out of bed. I put my laptop, planner, and water bottle on Cordell, and head out to the office. On the way to the office I put my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. I turn on some music.

2:20 - I realize that I never took Tylenol, so I take it now. I make some black tea and open packages that were delivered. 

2:35 - Music is too much for me today, so I turn it off. I should have known not to turn on music while also dealing with a mild migraine. I settle in to my office recliner and desk.

I’m still struggling to finish my blog post, so instead I write an email to my editor to ask for an extension on my guest post deadline. (Later I receive a very kind reply, and my deadline is graciously extended.)

My body is so tired. I briefly wonder how all of this is going to work in 3 months with a baby. I decide I shouldn't worry about that, and I focus on today's tasks without borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

2:50 - I try on my new ACE knee brace. Pregnancy and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome don't always mix well, so my joints have been looser and more painful than is normal for me. I pull the brace on my sore knee and lie back down in my recliner to rest until the kids come home.

3:25 - William and Adelaide come home from school. We talk and get some snacks. Then we get ready for friends to come over and visit.

3:40 - I look at my planner and realize that I didn't make the phone call I needed to make. I push it off until tomorrow. I have yet to cross anything off of my To Do list for the day, a fact I find a little discouraging.

3:45 - I look at Adelaide's take home folder, and I help her with some homework. The only homework she has today is reading, and I am thankful for that. My brain is not up for math today, even 2nd grade math.

3:55 - Friends come over. I lie down on the sofa and visit with my friend while our daughters go off to play.

5:00 - We say goodbye to our friends. Adelaide and I finish up the reading homework.

5:15 - Will comes home. We share a hug, and we talk about our days. I tell him that I didn’t accomplish anything on my To Do list today. He reminds me that I had a friend over to visit, and that is accomplishing something. I’m so thankful for his encouragement, kindness, and understanding.

I get some fruit for my breakfast tomorrow morning, and I put it by my bed. I help Adelaide set out clothes for school tomorrow. Then I shower and get ready for bed.

6:20 - I turn on my white noise machine to drown out the conversation and other noises in the house, and I lie down in bed. I call Will to let him know I am in bed and ready for supper.

6:30 - Will brings supper to me. I eat, take my supper vitamins and supplements, rest, and watch a television show.

6:40 - I pause the show to grab my crocheting bag. I have to get out of bed to reach it. As I stand I notice that my legs are especially weak and worn out, but I'm able to get my bag and get safely back into bed. I'm hoping for enough strength in my arms to do some work on a baby blanket for Stafford.

7:20 - I take a break from crochet and the tv show. I post a couple of pictures on Instagram. William comes in to tell me good night, and we talk.

7:35 - William leaves, and Adelaide comes in to talk for a bit.

7:40 - I go back to my show and crocheting.

7:50 - I pause my show again as Adelaide comes back in to say good night. Then I text a friend and Vox two other friends.

Will puts the children to bed. Then he does law school homework.

8:15 - I go to the kitchen for a few minutes to make some rooibus tea and get a snack. Hopefully this will keep me from waking up hungry at 6:30 tomorrow morning like I did today!

I text and Vox some more with friends. Technology is so helpful! I am grateful for a phone and the ability to keep in touch with friends from far away.

8:45 - I go back to crocheting and watching tv. I stop crocheting every few minutes to rest my arms.

10:00 - I check my email, read a couple of blog posts, do some Amazon shopping, and then shut down my laptop.

10:15 - Will is done with law school homework for tonight. We talk a little and get ready for bed. Will fills up my water bottles and gets an ice pack for my feet for the night.

10:50 - We pray together and say good night. Will can fall asleep right away, but it takes me a while. I take my night time medications and then scroll through Facebook and Instagram on my phone for a few minutes. I pull out the book Happiness by Randy Alcorn and read for a while.

12:00 am - Happiness is too interesting, and it is keeping me awake! I put it away and pull out an audio book instead. I soon fall asleep.