A Little Blessing

I am not usually a fan of surprises. But I have come to realize there is at least one kind of surprise that I am always excited about... a new baby!

In our family we love babies and toddlers. The unexpected blessing of Stafford has been wonderful. It has been hard, but also truly wonderful. We cannot imagine our family without this delightful child. 

William and Adelaide have been asking for another baby for well over a year now. Even with all of the work they have to do to help me take care of Stafford every day, they wanted another baby to take care of too! I told them that they needed to ask God for a baby. Well... they did! This summer God answered their prayers. We have another little one on the way! 

We are having a baby boy! We will be welcoming Gresham into our family sometime in March!

We are all very excited to have a baby again. It will be hard, but we are looking forward to having another little one in our home. William and Adelaide are ready to help me out every day with baby care. Stafford is excited to have a little brother. He talks about Gresham every day, and when he prays he thanks God for Gresham. We all thank the Lord for this precious gift!

Introducing Stafford

I am happy to announce that our little Stafford is here! He is a sweet and content baby, and he loves to be snuggled and held. We thank the Lord for this precious gift.

Stafford was 8 pounds, 10 ounces when he was born. He was my smallest baby! It has been fun to have a "tiny" baby for the first time.

We are thrilled to have Stafford in our arms now! We are exhausted too. Life is hard, but we are doing pretty well, and we are adjusting to life with a newborn.

William and Adelaide are great as big brother and big sister. They are a help to us, and they love to hold their baby brother. Stafford loves to spend time with them too.

Will continues on with law school, work, and taking care of his family. He is sleep deprived, but somehow he manages to keep things running here at home. Thankfully the end of the semester is coming up soon, and the break from school will enable Will to get more sleep. We are really looking forward to summer when he won't have homework to do every night.

My recovery is going as well as can be expected. I am very tired, and I don't think that will go away anytime soon. My doctor's orders are to do nothing but rest, recover, and take care of my baby. So for now I am mostly just eating, sleeping, and feeding Stafford. It's an exhausting, wonderful, hard, and happy life.

I had a C-section with Stafford, so I was in a lot of pain for the first two weeks. I still have pain, and will for quite some time, but it isn't too bad anymore. The nice thing about having a C-section is that my body doesn't get exhausted from labor and delivery. This allows me more time to hold my baby and enjoy him in the newborn stage. I get to wear myself out taking care of a baby instead of wearing myself out going through labor.

So far I have not had a bad crash, and I am thankful for that. I know it will become much harder for me to take care of Stafford once he is mobile and no longer sleeping all day. There are probably still some very hard days ahead. I'm trying not to think about that for now. I'm trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy these moments as best I can.

I love holding Stafford and taking care of him. I am thankful that I have been able to do quite a bit of the baby care so far. I can feel my arms and legs becoming weaker from all of the exertion, but it is worth it. And whatever crash may come -- this baby is worth it.

God has been so good to us. He has blessed us with another child, and He has provided the extra help we need. My parents were here to help out when Stafford was born, and they will be coming again this spring to help out for a while. Our church and friends have provided help as well. As my needs increase there are some who are willing to step in and help out more.

And you, dear readers, have been an encouragement to me. Thank you for your prayers and support during this time of welcoming a new baby into our family.

I won’t be able to blog again for a long time, but I do hope to share short updates on Instagram and Facebook. You are welcome to check in with me there. You are also still welcome to email me. I do appreciate every email, but I likely won't be able to reply, and I thank you for understanding.

I don't know when I will start blogging again, or if I will be able to write regularly once I do start writing again. If you would like, you may subscribe here so that you receive an email whenever I publish a new post.

I am thankful for you, dear reader and friend. Thank you for being here at Cranberry Tea Time. Thank you for sharing in the joy of the birth of Stafford!

Preparing for Stafford: Your Questions

Over the past few months I have received several messages and questions about preparing for Stafford from readers and friends who live far away. People have been wondering what they can do to help if they don't live nearby.

I thought there might be more questions, so I asked on Instagram and Facebook what questions you might have about preparing for Stafford, dysautonomia and pregnancy, etc, and y’all came up with a lot of questions! Today I am here to answer them. This will be lengthy, but feel free to skip over any question you aren’t interested in.

If you missed any of the other posts in the Preparing for Stafford series, you can find them here:

• Preparing for Stafford and Stepping Away from Blogging
• Preparing for Stafford: The Fun Stuff
• Preparing for Stafford: The Hard Stuff

How do doctors handle labor and delivery when someone has dysautonomia?

It varies a lot from one doctor to another and from one patient to another. Some doctors are nervous about it; others are ready to take on the challenge. Some women with dysautonomia do well during pregnancy; others get worse during pregnancy. One doctor told me that some women with dysautonomia choose to have a C-section because it won’t require the physical exertion of labor. Other women want to do things as naturally as possible. If heart rate, blood pressure, and other symptoms are under control, from what I have heard, doctors will let a woman go through labor. However, they will probably monitor her more closely.

I don’t know many more specifics about how doctors handle labor and delivery with their dysautonomia patients, but I can share some from my personal experience. I have lived in a different place with each birth, so I had a different practitioner each time, and each one went about things a little differently.

I went to a Certified Nurse Midwife with William. She delivered in a hospital, and she worked closely with an OB and a high-risk OB, so I was very comfortable with the situation. When I had William I wanted to avoid all medications and interventions if possible because I didn’t know how my body would respond. I especially wanted to avoid an epidural because it can lower blood pressure, and mine was already low. 

After laboring through the night and all day long, I was so sleepy and fatigued that I couldn’t continue. The only options were to either get an epidural and take a nap or have a C-section. I opted for the epidural. I was also given Pitocin to help my uterus contract better. I’ve always wondered if it wasn’t contracting well because of my dysautonomia, but we really don’t know. Once the epidural kicked in, I took a nap, and just a few hours later William was born. It was tiring, but it all went very smoothly, and I didn’t have any complications with the epidural or Pitocin.

I went to an OB with Adelaide. The doctor referred me for a consult with a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist just in case, but after the MFM specialist gave her okay, I was allowed to stay with my OB for the remainder of my care. My OB also had me go for a consult with anesthesiology a month before my due date. She wanted them to be familiar with my illness before I went into labor.

My OB and I had planned to induce so that I could go into labor after a full night of sleep. We wanted to avoid the sleepless night that I’d had during my first delivery in order to help relieve some of the intense fatigue I experienced that time. However, Adelaide grew so big so fast that I had to have a C-section. The delivery and recovery went well. 

The first OB I went to when I was pregnant with Stafford was very uncomfortable with my dysautonomia. Having a doctor who was so nervous about my health conditions was unsettling, so I found a new OB. She is the sweetest doctor, and she gladly takes high-risk patients. She did refer me to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist just to make sure it was okay for me to stay in her care. We received the okay from MFM, so I have continued in the care of this OB who has an interest in high-risk cases.

She is being extra cautious with me because of my age, dysautonomia, and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. The nice part about this is that I get to have a lot of ultrasounds! It is fun to have a peek into the womb every few weeks. If I feel well enough, I would like to try for a VBAC, but because of my age, a prior C-section, big babies, and EDS, it would be risky. My doctor is willing to let me take this risk, but I would be monitored closely throughout labor. 

Because it is risky for me to go into labor, I will need to go stay in a hotel close to the hospital when my due date gets close. I live a couple of hours away from the hospital, and it could be dangerous for me to be in labor on a long drive to the hospital since doctors wouldn't be nearby to intervene if needed.

I will likely end up having a C-section with Stafford. I can’t be induced because of EDS and my prior C-section. If my pregnancy goes past 40 weeks, Stafford will probably be so big that I would have to have a C-section anyway. My body may be tired, but it sure can grow big babies! I have been praying that if a VBAC is best for Stafford and me that I will go into labor early. And if I don’t, then I will trust that a C-section is the safest option for us.

Is your recovery time longer after childbirth?

Based on what I have seen and heard from other moms, it does take me significantly longer to recover from the lingering pain and exhaustion of childbirth. After William was born I couldn’t even get out of bed to pick him up or change his diaper. When Will wasn’t in the room, I had to call a nurse if William needed care. 

I had a C-section with Adelaide, and that made the initial exhaustion less than if I had gone through labor. However, the physical toll of taking care of a newborn soon tired me out anyway.

How will you deal with a newborn baby feeding all night long while having chronic illness? Will you bottle feed so others can help with that? 

We have always had to primarily bottle feed in the past. Based on my past experience, we will most likely be doing some bottle feeding early on, and we will probably have to switch to exclusive bottle feeding sometime in the first few months. 

When we had William, Will and I took turns feeding him at night. When we had Adelaide, I was only able to do night time feedings for the first two weeks. After that, Will did all of the midnight feedings.

Who is in your support team? You’ve mentioned you’ll be handing Stafford to others to care for. Do you get paid help or family/friends or a combination of both?

I will take care of Stafford as much as I possibly can, but I know that I will need significant help from others. We won’t have paid help, but we have received offers of help from friends and from our church. Our family will also be helping as they are able. Most of our extended family lives far away, so family help will be limited, but it will be there too. 

My parents will be coming up to help out for a while before and after Stafford arrives. They will also come to take care of the children and me while Will has to be gone for a week for the on-campus portion of law school this semester.

When we don’t have family living with us to help, local friends and our church family will be helping with meals and in-home care.

Do Will, William, and Adelaide have a good support system?

They do. We are pretty close as a family, and we talk to each other and support each other a lot. Our children will probably be more open with Will and me than they are with others, but they do have other friends and homes they can go to for an escape from the stress of severe illness if they need to. They also have a good school and amazing teachers, and they enjoy their time at school each week.

Will's dad and stepmom live nearby. Will has a very kind and understanding boss, and we are grateful for that. Our pastor also checks in with Will regularly to see how he is doing and if there is anything we need.

In terms of needing help, are there any options for people with disabilities, who have a child, for in-home help? What does your level of disability have to be? Or is there an option for subsidized daycare for someone with a disability?

As far as I know, there isn’t any help like this in my area. Anytime I have looked into it, both parents had to be working, or looking for work, in order to qualify for childcare assistance. Unfortunately, being disabled and unable to work does not qualify a parent for childcare assistance.

It sounds like you’ve let your church know, and your close friends know, what you need. I’d be curious to know what those things were that you asked for.

Back in September we told our church that we had a baby on the way. We also told a few people how hard life was now that Will had started law school. He was struggling to keep up with full-time work, school, and taking care of his family. It was impossible for him to do all that needed to be done. One of the deaconesses came to me and asked me to send her an email to let her know what we needed. I sent two long emails. The first email detailed what kind of help we needed right away. 

The needs that I mentioned in that first email were:

• Help with yard work
• Meals once or twice a week
• Someone to go grocery shopping for us
• Someone to take me for short errands in town
• Help with house cleaning
• Baby items (I had given away all of our baby items except for the few I kept for sentimental reasons.)

The second email gave details about my health, what a crash is like for me, what happened after William and Adelaide were born, and what kind of help I would likely need after Stafford is born.

The specific needs I mentioned in the second email were all of the same needs from the first email, plus:

• Women to come into my home to take care of both Stafford and me while Will is at work
• Help with nighttime feedings 

I also mentioned that I will not be able to have visitors after Stafford is born, and I explained that I will need to have a lot of quiet when people are here to help. 

I forgot to mention in my emails that we need to do all we can to avoid colds and other viruses, but this is something I have told many people since then. If someone has a runny nose or cough, we kindly ask that they not come into our home to help. We have had a baby with RSV and whooping cough, and it was hard to go through that. It would be even harder now that my health has declined more, but it isn’t just the “big” things we need to avoid. We also need to avoid simple cold viruses. What is a slight cold for a healthy person can cause me weeks of extra fatigue and weakness as my body puts energy toward fighting off the cold.

I wasn’t quite as specific with a list of needs when talking with my friends. Most of these things came up naturally as we were talking. I did share details about what is likely going to happen sometime in the months after Stafford is born. I didn’t live in Minnesota when either William or Adelaide were born, so my friends here have never seen me at my worst. It was important that I let them know ahead of time what was likely coming in the next year. 

I didn’t even have to ask my two closest friends for help; they just offered. And they gave specific offers of help, which is always great because then I don’t have to wonder, “What do they want to do? What should I ask? What is too much?” These friends just poured out their love and shared what they could do for me. They also expressed that they wanted to do these things, which helped me to not feel like a burden to them, but to feel like a valued friend.

What are some things that I could do, or that someone else who doesn't live nearby can do? Are there tangible ways from far away for us to help? Are there gift cards we can send for restaurants with take-out near you? 

These are questions I have received a lot in the past couple of months from blog readers and friends who live far away. You all are so kind to want to help. I do not want anyone to feel like they have to help simply because they read my blog. Please know that you are under no obligation! But since so many of you have asked about this, and have even asked specifically about gift cards, I feel like I should answer this question too.

Here are some ways you can help if you live far away:

• Pray for us. Many of you have already told me that you are praying for us regularly, and we appreciate that so much! Thank you! If you would like to know specific prayer requests, I mention several of them in this blog post.
• Send encouraging notes and messages. Many of you already do this as well! Thank you! I am always grateful for encouragement that comes through your emails, Facebook messages, snail mail cards, Facebook and Instagram comments, and blog comments.
• Share an uplifting song. Some of my favorite songs have come from friends far away who send a link to a YouTube video. These songs have encouraged me on my hard days.
• Sending a gift card if you feel so led. But please do not feel obligated. I wouldn’t have mentioned this if you hadn’t asked. In fact, I wouldn’t have even thought of this if this hadn’t been asked about so specifically! But you are right that gift cards to local restaurants for take-out would be helpful for us. We do have two meals a week that are provided by our church. Even now it is helpful to buy an additional meal from a local restaurant when Will doesn’t have time to prepare supper for us. And I'm sure it is only going to get harder for Will to have the time and energy to prepare meals for our family after Stafford is born. There aren’t many restaurant options for us, but nearby we do have Pizza Ranch, Casey’s General Store, and Subway. If you want to send a gift card, you can send an e-gift card to RachelLundy@cranberryteatime.com.
• Your ideas could be helpful too! Often the best help and encouragement comes from someone who sees a need or has an idea, and then does that. So if there is a way you would like to give support or encouragement, that may be just what we need and don’t even know it!

The Lego Lundys 

by William and Adelaide

Thank you so much, friends, for caring about our family. Thank you for praying for us and for rejoicing with us in the gift of Stafford! I look forward to introducing you to him sometime next month!

Preparing for Stafford: The Hard Stuff

Preparing for Stafford has been a joy and a challenge. It has been filled with laughter and tears and prayers. We don’t know what lies ahead, but based on what we know of my health from the past 19 years, the months ahead will be exceptionally hard. Over the past eight months we haven’t just been preparing for a baby; we have been preparing for a health crash.

If you have been reading here for many years, you may remember that I crashed badly after Adelaide was born. My health slowly deteriorated until I was bedridden for 20-23 hours a day for a few months. Recovery from that crash took three years, and despite all of my efforts to exercise and rebuild strength, I have never been able to recover to the level of health I had before Adelaide was born. And anytime I push myself too hard, my energy levels plummet again.

Currently I can be out of bed for 5 hours on a good day. After that, I have to borrow spoons from the next day to stay up longer. If I borrow spoons too many days in a row, then I crash, and it can take months, or even a year, to recover. Because I am starting off with less physical strength and endurance than I had when I was pregnant with Adelaide, it is likely that recovery from delivery will be harder this time around, and it is likely that a crash will come sooner than it did before.

Stafford at his 19 week ultrasound

One of my most debilitating symptoms is post-exertional malaise. This means that it takes my body much longer to recover from exertion than it should. If I go to church on a Sunday morning, it can take a week for me to recover from the noise and physical exertion. If I do a lot of walking around the house one day, I will have to spend the next day in bed. Pushing myself too hard with exercise doesn’t increase my strength, it only takes away my energy in the long run. Something is wrong at the cellular level, and my body doesn’t recover as it should when I rest and sleep, but, of course, not resting and sleeping only makes things worse!

On Monday I shared about some of the things I would be stepping away from after Stafford is born. And yet, even with all I am cutting out in order to have more energy to give to Stafford, I am well aware that apart from a miracle, I will not be able to take care of Stafford on my own. This has been my biggest grief during pregnancy. 

A glimpse of Stafford's face at his 33 week ultrasound.

For right now I am able to take care of Stafford. When I eat, he receives nourishment too. Simply by being pregnant I can keep Stafford warm and safe and protected. For 9 months I get to have him with me all the time, and I love that. Pregnancy is very easy for me compared to taking care of a newborn or a toddler. I do look forward to meeting Stafford, but I wish pregnancy could last longer because I am not ready to let my baby go. It is hard to hand a newborn over to someone else to take care of. 

Even with all that is hard, there is so much gratitude as well. I have lost babies through miscarriage, and I am thankful that Stafford is still with us. My heart aches for my friends who have had to say goodbye to their children too soon. My heart hurts for those who want a child, but have not been able to have one. I know that I am very blessed to have a baby on the way. Stafford is a wonderful gift from God. I am grateful for this precious child, and I definitely want him to be part of our family! There is grief, but I am trying to keep it all in perspective. I know there will be joy and happy days in the midst of the challenges.

Little Feet

Some days I am sad about the struggles and losses that are likely soon to come. Some days I don’t think about it at all, and I just enjoy being pregnant. I pray often for help and peace and strength. I pray for the ability to take care of Stafford, and I pray for humility and contentment if that is not to be.

I am trying not to worry. Most days I succeed; some days I don’t. I am trusting that tomorrow there will be grace. I’m not scared of the future. I’m just not looking forward to the physical deterioration. The increase in muscle weakness and brain fog and frailty will be unpleasant. But mostly I’m just sad about not being able to take care of my baby and my family in the ways I wish I could. 

Will you please pray for my family and for me? Please pray that:

• We all stay healthy and do not catch the flu or some other virus.
• Stafford’s birth would go smoothly and safely.
• My recovery from delivery would go well.
• The Lord would strengthen Will for all He has called him to as a husband, father, paralegal, and law student.
• William and Adelaide would be at peace no matter what happens with my health.
• The Lord would give me strength to take care of my newborn son.
• I would be humble and content if He chooses not to increase my strength.
• The Lord would provide the practical in-home help we will need.
• The Lord would give strength and endurance to those who choose to walk through the coming months and years with us.
• I would keep my heart and mind focused on Christ.
• I would trust God no matter what comes.
• The joy of the Lord would be my strength.
• I would rest in today's grace and mercy with no fear of the future.
• I would glorify the Lord in this life to which He has called me.

I know that the Lord is good and that His plans for me are for my ultimate good, even when life seems overwhelmingly hard. And I know that I can trust Him with all of this, but it is still hard. Thank you for your prayers.

Preparing for Stafford: The Fun Stuff

A small glimpse of Stafford's face at his 33 week ultrasound.

It is incredibly hard to take care of a baby when you suffer from low energy levels and post exertional malaise. Over the past nearly eight months I have been doing what I can to prepare and make life as easy as possible after Stafford arrives. Today I’m sharing about some of the fun and practical baby preparations. I hope this will be helpful for some of you who have a chronic illness and a baby on the way. And if you don’t, maybe it will be interesting to see what we’re doing.

In addition to all of the fun baby preparations, I have also been working on things that aren’t your typical baby preparations. Life will be much more tiring for me with a baby, and I know that I won’t be able to do most of my normal tasks after Stafford comes, so I have been working ahead of time on what I can.

Here are some of the things we have done, or will do, to make life as easy as possible with a new baby.

We put a co-sleeper in our bedroom. This is something new we are trying with Stafford. When William and Adelaide were babies we used a cradle in the bedroom, but I am no longer healthy enough to sit up, or stand up, and pick a baby up out of a cradle on a regular basis. I am hoping that with the co-sleeper I will be able to reach over and bring Stafford close to me while I am still lying down. I hope that this will make it possible for me to do some of the night time feedings and take care of Stafford in the mornings. It may not help enough, and it may only extend my night and morning time with Stafford by a few days or a few weeks. But it is important enough to me that it was worth the money to buy a co-sleeper and give it a try.

We have set up diaper changing areas on the floor in the living room and in our bedroom. I am not able to stand up long enough (or safely enough) to change a baby’s diaper at a changing table, so we have always done this on the floor. My only concern right now is that I am struggling to stand back up after getting down on the floor. So I’m sure there will be many times that I do diaper changes next to me on the bed or recliner.

We will keep bottle feedings at night as simple as possible. In the past it has worked well for us to have a full water bottle and several baby bottles with pre-measured powdered formula in them. Then when Stafford is hungry, we pour in the right amount of water, give a gentle shake, and begin to feed. We don't use a bottle warmer or go to the kitchen to warm up a bottle. We will just use room temperature water.

I have clothes washed and sorted for Stafford for the first year. Babies grow quickly, and I know that I won’t have much energy for buying clothes after Stafford is born. In the fall I went to a couple of rummage sales and bought a lot of baby clothes. We have also been blessed with hand-me-downs and some clothing gifts. I will probably find that there are a few clothing items I am missing as the year goes on, but for the most part I have enough clothes for Stafford for the first year (and even quite a few clothes for the next couple of years!). I have sorted all of the clothes, and they are in labeled bags and plastic tubs in the basement. When I need a new size of clothes, all I have to do is ask Will to go downstairs and grab the next size up!

We put a cradle in the living room. When I feel well enough in the afternoons, I want to be out in the living room. Walking back and forth to put Stafford down for naps in a bedroom won’t be possible, so he will sleep in the cradle next to my chair.

I have a baby wrap carrier to use at home. I have never tried one of these before, so I am not sure if it will be helpful or not. I am hoping that it will make it easier for me to hold Stafford when my arms are tired.

I will use a Boppy often. My mom bought one of these for me, and it will come in very handy whenever I am sitting to hold Stafford or feed him. I plan to bring the Boppy to the hospital too.

My wheelchair is being kept next to the kitchen so that I can use it every day. It is hard for me to walk around the kitchen and prepare a snack or a baby bottle, even when I am using Cordell (my walker). It is much easier to wheel around in my wheelchair. It saves energy, and it helps to prevent my blood from pooling as badly. I don’t like having one more piece of durable medical equipment to take up space in our home, but it is a necessity. I wish we had wood or laminate flooring throughout the house so that I could use my wheelchair everywhere. That would make getting around so much easier! It is too hard on most days for me to wheel myself on the carpet. But if needed, I can have a friend or family member push me in my wheelchair to get me where I need to go in the house.

Crocheting has been one of the most fun things to do in preparation for Stafford’s arrival. It isn’t absolutely necessary, but it brings joy to my heart. I crocheted a blanket for Stafford this fall. I have also crocheted several hats and shoes. I hope to crochet a few more hats and shoes in the next few weeks. Yesterday I finished a second baby blanket for Stafford. I can’t wait to show you this one! I’ll share about it in a Busy Hands post next week.

I have written and addressed birthday cards for our nieces and nephews for their birthdays this year. The envelopes have sticky notes on them with the date they need to be mailed. If I feel well enough throughout the year, I will also send birthday cards to our brothers and sisters, their spouses, and our parents. But if I can’t, at least the kids will still receive their cards.

I am hoping to have Easter baskets for William and Adelaide and Stafford filled and ready to go by the end of the month. I will hide the baskets in the closet until Easter. I always enjoy putting a few small gifts and some Easter candy in my children’s Easter baskets each year, and I don’t want to skip that tradition this year if I don’t have to. As soon as the stores start selling Easter candy, I hope to be able to get some, fill three Easter baskets, and put them in the closet to pull out on Easter Sunday. But Stafford doesn’t get candy; he gets a onesie and a board book!

I have clothing sorted into labeled boxes for Adelaide for the next two years. Between rummage sale shopping I did this fall, and some wonderful hand-me-downs from a cousin, Adelaide has many of the clothes she will need in the next couple of years. This will be helpful because it will save me a lot of time and energy that I would otherwise have to spend shopping or sorting through hand-me-down sizes later on. This winter I sorted the clothes into boxes that are each labeled with her name and the size. When Adelaide grows, I can let Will know what size she needs, and he can get the labeled box from the basement for me.

I have prepared to pass on the bill paying responsibilities to Will if need be. I am usually the one to keep track of finances and pay bills because it is a task I can do while lying down in bed. But if I become too physically exhausted or brain fogged, then I need to be able to easily hand this stuff over to Will. I have typed up a list of which bills are due when, how they are paid, etc. I hope that I will be able to continue to help Will by taking care of the bill paying, but if I cannot, at least everything is organized and ready to pass over to him.

I have talked with my local friends about what is likely to happen with my health after Stafford is born, and I have shared about the kind of help I will need in the months to come. I have had a few health crashes since moving to Minnesota six years ago, but none of them have been as severe as the crash I had when Adelaide was a baby. No one here has seen me that sick, so it was important to let my friends know what could happen again. Two of my friends have overwhelmed me with their love and support and offers of significant, practical help. I have also let our church know what my specific needs are right now, and what my needs will likely be in the coming months and years. Our church is currently helping us with meals, and they are talking about other ways they can help us after Stafford is born.

Do you have any other ideas to make life as easy as possible with a newborn? I would love to hear! I want to be as prepared as I can be for the challenges ahead!

Preparing for Stafford and Stepping Back from Blogging

Stafford, 12 week ultrasound

For the past seven and a half months we have been preparing for Stafford’s arrival. I move pretty slowly, so we need the full nine months to prepare for a new baby in the house. It has been hard for me to keep up with blogging in the midst of all the baby preparations, which is why I have been quieter here lately. Much of my energy has been put toward shopping for baby clothes and other needed baby items, going to doctor’s appointments, rearranging bedrooms to make room for a baby, crocheting for Stafford, and trying to get everything on my to-do list finished before March.

I plan to publish a few more blog posts here at Cranberry Tea Time in the coming weeks. However, once Stafford arrives I will need to step back from blogging for a long time. I will try to write one more time after Stafford is born with a quick update and a few pictures, but otherwise things will be very quiet here on the blog. I will miss all of you, and I thank you in advance for understanding my need to step back from blogging for a while.

After Stafford is born I will be mostly stepping away other activities too, like email, crocheting, and scrapbooking. I won’t do much reading other than my daily Bible reading. I’ve told my friends that I won’t be able to have visitors, but that friends to come over to clean and take care of Stafford and me will be welcomed and needed! I won’t be leaving the house unless it is for a necessary medical appointment. As much of my energy as possible will need to go toward taking care of Stafford.

I haven’t said much here about baby preparations, what that looks like for us, or what lies ahead for us as a family of five. It is all so happy and scary and overwhelming that I haven’t known what to say, so I have been quiet. But in the coming days I hope to write two more blog posts about preparing for Stafford’s arrival – one that shares the fun side of things and one that shares the hard side of things. So check back in soon to find out how I’m doing and how I have been preparing for Stafford’s arrival.

Favorite Books of 2017

I enjoyed reading plenty of books in 2017. I finished 43 books in the year, and I started a few more. My reading goals are not as ambitious for 2018. My goal this year is to read 15 books, and I hope to finish most of them before Stafford is born.

Here are my favorite books from 2017:

Gracelaced by Ruth Chou Simons

Gracelaced is one of the most beautiful and encouraging devotion books I have ever read! Each page is illustrated by Ruth, who is both an author and an artist. Her devotions are rich and encouraging for whatever season of life you find yourself in.

The Wonder Within You by Carey Wickersham

This is a pregnancy book that is written from a Christian perspective. It is filled with helpful information, stories from other moms, and journaling prompts. There is also a pregnancy calendar with stickers to keep a record of milestones in pregnancy. I am enjoying reading and journaling through this book during my pregnancy with Stafford.

Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northup

This was a sad book to read, but I am so glad I read it. Twelve Years a Slave was written by a black man who was free for the first 30 years of his life, but then he was kidnapped and sold into slavery. After being freed from slavery, he wrote a book about his twelve years in slavery. This book provides a glimpse into the horrors of slavery in America.


United by Trillia Newbell

This is a great book about pursuing diversity in our friendships and in our churches. Trillia Newbell writes with grace and wisdom. I appreciated reading stories of her experiences growing up as an African American and her experiences in the church. This is a good book for all believers to read and be challenged by.


Happiness by Randy Alcorn

Happiness is a book that I will keep on my shelf as a reference for years to come. I highly recommend it. This is a message that is needed by Christians today, and it is a message that is needed by the world. There is true and lasting happiness to be found, and that happiness is found in knowing Jesus Christ as your Savior and living for Him alone. You can read my full review here.


A Lifetime of Wisdom by Joni Eareckson Tada

Joni is my favorite author, so it is no surprise that one of her books would again find its way onto my list of favorite books from my year of reading. A Lifetime of Wisdom was written after Joni had been a quadriplegic for 40 years (she has now lived with quadriplegia for over 50 years). In each chapter Joni briefly shares her thoughts and experiences from the early weeks and years after her diving accident, and then in the rest of the chapter she shares with the wisdom and the perspective of a woman who has walked with the Lord through 40 years of quadriplegia. It was encouraging to see how the Lord has worked in her life over the years, using suffering to make her more like Jesus.


What were your favorite books from last year? What are you reading currently?

Top Seven Blog Posts of 2017

Hello Friends,

Thank you for reading here at Cranberry Tea Time this year. Whether I know you in real life or not, I am grateful for you, and I am glad to have you as a part of the Cranberry Tea Time community. It has been a joy to write for you and to chat with you this year.

Do you want to know what your favorite blot posts were from Cranberry Tea Time in 2017? Here are the seven that had the most views this year:

• Marriage, Chronic Illness, Christ, and the Church
• Busy Hands: Matching Cowls
• The Gift of Time to Pray
• How to Pray for the Sick and Disabled
• Just a Little Update
• Oh My Soul
• The Best Surprise

I wish you a Happy New Year, and I will see you here in 2018!

Blessings and joy,
Rachel

Busy Hands: A Blanket for Stafford

This fall I crocheted a baby blanket for Stafford. It was made with the same pattern I used to make blankets for William and Adelaide when I was pregnant with them. I also used this pattern last winter to make a baby blanket for a friend. 

The pattern is called "Homespun Crochet Three Color Baby Blanket," and it is from Lion Brand Yarns. I found it on a yarn wrapper 12 years ago, but it is not available to link to online. If you are looking for a quick and simple baby blanket pattern, this one from Lion Brand Homespun is very similar to the one I made.

Homemade baby blankets are one of my favorite things. I look forward to snuggling with Stafford under the warmth of this baby blanket.

I have several other items I am hoping to crochet for Stafford before he arrives. I hope I will have energy to keep my hands very busy over the next four months!

What projects have you been working on lately? How are you keeping your hands busy?

The Best Surprise

I’m not one who likes surprises. Pretty much ever. If you want to give me a bad birthday present, just throw me a surprise birthday party (please don’t).

But this surprise… oh, this one is good!

We found out this summer that God is blessing us with another child! What a wonderful, happy surprise. We have a little boy on the way, and his name is Stafford. Lord willing, he will be arriving in March.

Life is going to get harder; that is true! But a new baby is most certainly a happy and good surprise. God is the creator and giver of life, and children are always a blessing from Him. We are grateful that God has chosen us to take care of Stafford and raise this child for His honor and glory.

I Was Surprised by Motherhood

Today Lisa-Jo’s book, “Surprised by Motherhood,” releases! To celebrate the release, a bunch of bloggers are writing about how we were surprised by motherhood. This is my contribution to the celebration.

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Motherhood always comes with surprises whether you are expecting them or not. Surprises came for me even though I had been preparing for motherhood all my life.

My sister was born when I was 7 years old. I started helping out a mom down the street when I was 10. By the age of 12 I was babysitting, and it wasn’t long before I had regular babysitting jobs 10 hours every week. I worked at summer camps as a teenager and in my early twenties. Throughout the school year, in both high school and college, I was involved in various children’s ministries.

By the time I was 18 I had been peed on and vomited on. I had cleaned up poop, blood, and other bodily fluids. I had caught the baby who tried to nosedive off of a changing table. I had cared for children overnight on numerous occasions. I had taken care of children with fevers and sprained ankles. I had worked with children with Down Syndrome and children with autism. I had cared for children from 2 weeks old to 17 years old. I had been yelled at. I had been a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. I had taught and loved children well. I was very comfortable with children and knew that I wanted to be a mom with a large family someday. I didn’t think motherhood would surprise me very much. I was wrong.

Will and I were married in December of 2002, and in the spring of 2003 I had my first miscarriage. This was not what I had prepared for. I never thought I would be the mom who would lose a baby. By the time two more years went by, I had lost multiple babies. This was a surprise. This was not the motherhood I had prepared for. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to carry a baby to term. I was the quiet mother on Mother’s Day who grieved with empty arms and an aching heart.

In the spring of 2005 I was pregnant again. I made it past 8 weeks…10 weeks…12 weeks…. Now this was a surprise! I made it all the way to 41 weeks and 3 days! Then our precious 9 ½ pound William came into the world. What a joy to hold my own child in my arms. He was a true gift from above. I thought he might be the only child I would hold in my arms, but four years later God blessed us with the precious gift of Adelaide.

I am grateful to have two beautiful children to hold, children who were hoped for by us and planned by God. William and Adelaide are my little friends and an absolute joy to be with. And in a way I even have the big family I had always dreamed of. It’s just that half of my family is in Heaven. I look forward to meeting my other children someday.

Even with two children now in my arms, motherhood is so different than I had expected. I’m not the healthy, active, and busy mom I had hoped to be. I am the home-bound and very quiet mom who cannot care for her children the way she wishes she could. It is hard. I have had to learn to let go of the dreams and desires I had and embrace the life that God has given me.

I have had to learn a lot about being a mother with a disability. It has been challenging! I had to learn to care for an infant while lying down in bed. I had to learn to let my three year old care for me. I had to change my plans for making Christmas cookies with my children. I had to learn to make it through not just the good days, but the bad days too, while caring for a child. I have had to learn to trust others to care for my children when I am unable to do so.

When I was pregnant with William I worried that he wouldn’t like me when he grew up and realized that I wasn’t like other moms and couldn’t do many activities with him. But you know what? William and Adelaide love me just the way I am. There has never been even a hint of resentment on their part. They adore me, and they absolutely love being with me, even if it is just talking and snuggling together in bed. They are sad when they can’t be with me or when I can’t go places with them, but it does not change their affection for me at all.

There are good things that come for William and Adelaide as a result of having a mom who is chronically ill. I can see that God is teaching them patience and compassion through my illness. He is teaching them to love and serve others well. These are valuable lessons that help to grow them in maturity and prepare them for future service to God and others.

Motherhood has not turned out the way I had hoped or the way I would have planned it. It has been full of surprises. Though different than I thought it would be, it is wonderful. This is the life God has called me to as a mother, and I am grateful for it. I am thankful that God is sovereign over all these things. He has a plan and a purpose for my motherhood. I pray that I will be faithful to serve Him well in this role so that He may be glorified.

Photo Credit for the first two photos: Lisa-Jo Baker. Used with permission.

Catching Up - Adelaide's Birth

I have a lot of catching up to do now after taking a blogging break to sleep, rest, enjoy my daughter, and celebrate Christmas with my family. I will start by sharing about Adelaide's birth.

We were planning on inducing labor as I came close to 40 weeks. This would allow me to go into labor in the morning instead of the middle of the night, making it possible for me to get a full night of sleep before labor started. We also knew that Adelaide was growing quickly, and by inducing a week early I could hopefully avoid having to give birth to a 12 pound baby. We had a plan set with my OB, and I was scheduled for induction at the hospital.


But then....I had one last ultrasound and OB appointment. The weight estimate: 10lbs 14oz. Ultrasound weight estimates can be off by a pound. So maybe Adelaide was just 9lbs 14oz. Or maybe she was really 11lbs 14oz. She was either a big baby, or a very big baby!

As we talked over the options with my OB, we decided that it would be best to have a c-section. All along, this is what I really, really wanted to avoid. However, the risks were too great for both me and the baby.

We went ahead with the c-section, and I am so thankful that the Lord led us in this direction. While recovering from a c-section was, and still is, more painful than recovering from my previous labor and delivery, it has also been a much more restful process. I was so weak and tired after giving birth to William 4 years ago that it took me months to recover. Those first four months are mostly a blur. I don't remember much of my son as an infant because I was too out-of-it. This time around I have been able to enjoy my infant daughter, and it has been wonderful!

Our newborn 10 pounds of joy!

I spent my time in the hospital resting and holding my baby as much as possible. We were there for three days. I would have left the day after Adelaide was born if they had let me, but three days was the minimum stay required for a c-section. My doctor knows that I am stubborn and would want to leave earlier, so she warned me going into it that she wasn't going to let me out for three days.

Adelaide gazing up at her Daddy.

William had to wait until we could bring Adelaide home before he could meet her. Because of flu season, no one under the age of 18 was allowed on the floors with babies. My next catching up post will tell about bringing Adelaide home to meet her big brother.

Pregnancy Q & A

Baby Toes

Many people have asked questions about pregnancy, my health, and how all of that works together. I'm going to answer the questions that I can remember below. If I forgot your question, please feel free to ask it again. If I have enough energy later, I can do a Q & A part two.

Q. How does pregnancy affect your illness?

A. Health wise, there is one benefit to being pregnant, and that is the 50% increase in blood volume. This allows me to stand up a little bit longer while pregnant because there is more blood available to circulate back up to my heart, lungs, and brain while upright. The downside is that it also hurts more to stand up. I have more blood circulating to my heart, lungs, and brain than I normally do, but I also have more blood pooling than I normally do. All of that pressure in the veins in the lower half of my body gets very painful at times.

Pregnancy makes my gastroparesis a little more difficult to deal with. Gastroparesis is a partial to full paralysis of the stomach muscles. Thankfully, my stomach is only partially paralyzed. I am still able to eat food, albeit sometimes liquid food, in small quantities. My stomach works very slowly, so it has been difficult at times to consume the extra calories I need during pregnancy. Despite this, the baby is growing well. Even when I can't gain enough weight, Adelaide has been packing on the pounds!

I had to make medication changes because of pregnancy. Some of the medicines I normally take aren't safe for the baby. I was nervous about the medication changes because I wasn't sure how my body would function without them. We were able to find different medications, though, that are safe for the baby. They don't all work as well as my previous meds, but they are working well enough that I can get by without my better meds for a while. It's worth the sacrifice for Adelaide. :)

Pregnancy makes my Joint Hypermobility Syndrome (previously called Ehlers-Danlos Type III) more of a problem. This is a connective tissue disorder, and it causes me to have stretchy veins, faulty collagen production, and loose joints and ligaments. During pregnancy joints loosen even more, which is hard on my muscles. At times it feels like the only thing still holding my hips in place are my muscles. As I am able, I do leg lifts in bed to help strengthen the muscles and keep my hips from hurting so much and feeling like they are falling apart.

Q. How does your illness affect pregnancy?

A. I'm not really sure, actually. I've never been pregnant and healthy at the same time, so I don't know what normal health and pregnancy are like. There has been very little research on pregnancy and dysautonomia, so doctors can't give much of an answer either. Many doctors report that women with POTS can and do have healthy, normal pregnancies. There is currently a medical study being conducted on POTS and pregnancy that I am participating in. I am hoping that these doctors can gather a lot of information and help answer questions that many patients and doctors have.

My current pregnancy is progressing normally, and the baby is very healthy from everything we can tell. It doesn't make sense considering how weak and tired my body is, and considering the fact that I don't have good circulation. If I stand up for too long I actually turn blue and purple from the waist down because of blood pooling. How does the baby get enough oxygen and blood flow at times? I don't know. I can't answer that other than to say it is a miracle. God is in control. He is taking care of Adelaide and is growing a healthy baby inside of me despite my health problems.

Q. What are your plans for labor and delivery considering your health problems? Will you have to schedule a C-section?

A. I am planning to do things as naturally as possible during labor and delivery. It is best that I avoid any unnecessary medications and anesthesia because my body may or may not respond well to them. I did have an epidural for the last two hours of labor and delivery with William, but that was four years ago, and my health was better then. The anesthesiologist said that he would give me an epidural, but that it would be best if I wait as long as I can. He can't guarantee that my body will respond well to it this time around.

While I would prefer to avoid an epidural all together, I realize that it is very likely that I will need one eventually. If labor lasts more than a few hours I will need an epidural so that I can rest and take a nap. We will start the epidural at a very low dose and gradually increase it if I need it and if my body can tolerate the drug.

More important than avoiding the epidural is avoiding extreme fatigue, which leads to an increase in brain fog and other dysautonomia symptoms for me. And even more important than avoiding extreme fatigue is avoiding a c-section if at all possible. Unless the baby's or my life is in danger, we won't do a cesarean. My body doesn't heal quickly or heal well. Recovering from a c-section would be very difficult for me. Also, the anesthesiologist wants to avoid giving me that much anesthesia unless it is absolutely necessary.

We are considering inducing labor in a couple of weeks for three reasons. One, Adelaide is getting very big. She has been putting on about 3/4 of a pound a week according to ultrasounds. If she keeps growing at this rate she will be over 12 pounds by the time I'm 40 weeks along! I would prefer to not have to induce, but if the choice is either induce two weeks early or have a c-section at 40 weeks, I'm going to choose to induce. The second reason for inducing is that it would allow me to start labor at the beginning of the day instead of at midnight like I did last time. I was up all night, and it was very hard to recover from the lack of sleep, not to mention recovering from labor at the same time. It would be great to labor during the day and sleep at night. The third reason, though probably not so important in the long run, is that if I were to induce I could choose to do so on a day when my doctor is available in the hospital. I like my doctor so much. I am very comfortable with her, and she is familiar with my health problems and knows what I like and what I need. Plus, she's just a lot of fun!

Q. How will you handle midnight feedings?

A. With a LOT of help! Will is planning on doing the majority of the midnight feedings, as he did when William was a baby. I will help out as I can, but I know that realistically I won't be able to do much in the middle of the night. My body is too weak and slow when I first wake up. Plus, with each hour of sleep that I lose, my health only gets worse. Over time the lack of sleep really adds up and I become a totally and completely useless mess. No one but Will and William have ever seen me at my worst, but trust me, it's not pretty! I can barely move in bed, I can't answer yes or no questions, I can't walk, and I get so exhausted that I can't even cry anymore. So... to hopefully avoid as many of those totally crashed out days as possible, Will is going to help with midnight feedings. He's wonderful.

Our Baby Girl

Adelaide, 33 Weeks

Here is our little girl. She is growing and growing! The last couple of months have been hard on me, but Adelaide is certainly doing well! For those of you who have been wondering, here's the scoop on all things baby.

I had an ultrasound and OB appointment last week. The first question the ultrasound technician asked once she started the exam was, "How big was your son when he was born?" We told her that he was 9 1/2 pounds. Her next question was, "Are you diabetic?" I said that I am not. At this point Will asks, "Just how big is this child?!"

The weight estimate was 5 lbs 10 oz, which is fairly big since I was just over 32 weeks. Adelaide has been putting on more than 1/2 a pound a week! The night before the ultrasound I was lying in bed feeling my tummy and trying to guess how big Adelaide was. I told Will, "It feels like she's about 5 1/2 pounds." Later on I thought, "No way. She can't be that big yet. I'm only 32 weeks along." But, sure enough, the ultrasound said the same thing!

I praise the Lord that Adelaide is growing so well. I have had more trouble than normal with my gastroparesis lately. It has been hard to eat enough food because my stomach cannot digest as much food as I need. There have been many days that I have been on a liquid/soft foods diet. Despite not always being able to consume enough calories at this point in pregnancy, God is growing a very strong and healthy baby inside of me.

Adelaide is growing even faster than William did, and he was well over 9 pounds. The only "complication" now is that Adelaide may come early. My doctor said that because she is getting so big so fast my uterus may reach a certain size and then think it is time for labor. I am supposed to pay close attention to contractions and not just assume that I'm having Braxton Hicks.

I am feeling crunched for time and energy knowing that Adelaide could come so soon. My due date is still 6 weeks away, but I want to be prepared early just in case. I think we do finally have everything we have to have for her arrival. We just got formula and baby wipes this week, and those were the last "must have before she comes" items on the list. I found a pediatrician for Adelaide, and we have finally figured out insurance for her. Now I just need to pack my bag for the hospital, and we'll be all set.

There are a lot of things I still want to do, or that would be helpful to have done, before Adelaide comes. Maybe I'll get my to-do list done, maybe not. If my energy holds out, if Will has time between studies to help me, and if Adelaide waits another 3 or 4 weeks, I think I can get it all done. :)

Today I'm going to see an anesthesiologist at the hospital to get a plan together for labor and delivery. With someone like me, you don't want to show up at the hospital already in labor and freak out every nurse and anesthesiologist on the floor. It's best to talk to them ahead of time so that they know what problems may arise, and to let them know not to worry when my blood pressure goes from 80/50 to 120/80 in a matter of seconds.

I will be starting weekly ultrasounds and weekly doctors appointments just to make sure that both Adelaide and I are doing well. Lord willing, in a month or so we'll have a happy, healthy baby to bring home.