Thursday, July 9, 2009

A Good Day

When I can read books with my son, it is a good day.
As promised, here are the details of what an average "good day" looks like for me.

7:00 am - Will gets up to get ready for school. I keep sleeping.

7:15 - William wakes up and comes into my room. He crawls in bed with me, snuggles, and falls back to sleep.

7:45 - I am mostly asleep, but aware that Will has just brought my Gatorade in for me. I keep sleeping.

8:30 - I am still very sleepy, but having trouble sleeping. I continue to wake and fall back asleep.

9:15 - I’m still sleepy, but completely unable to sleep anymore. I drink some of my Gatorade.

9:25 - William wakes up. He snuggles and talks to me.

9:30 - I take my morning meds and drink more of my Gatorade.

9:32 - William is finished with talking and snuggling. He is ready to play and goes out to the living room. Even though I stay in bed, William is only 15 feet away. It is easy for me to listen to him and know that he’s okay.

9:37 - I walk only three steps from the bed to the bathroom. Having a small apartment is such a huge help with conserving my energy, especially in the mornings when I am so tired and weak.

9:39 - I am back in bed to rest and finish my Gatorade.

9:43 - William comes in and asks for a pancake. Will has made some, and we have them in the freezer. I am still too weak to stand long enough to prepare a pancake for William. I ask him to get some yogurt for both of us, promising to get him a pancake later when I can get out of bed. He is disappointed, but complies.

9:46 - William has to go potty. He can do everything by himself except for getting his pants back on. I ask him to come stand up on the bed, and I help him get his jammie pants pack on.

9:56 - William comes to my bedside to bring me yogurt. He runs back to the kitchen for a spoon, and brings one back right away.

9:57 - William goes into the living room to eat his yogurt.

10:00 - I turn the bedroom tv on and watch Martha Stewart. Listening to the noise and conversation help my brain to wake up.

10:02 - “Mommy, I need you!” I hear William call from the living room. I go out to the living room; thankfully the middle of the living room is only 9 steps away from my bed in the bedroom! William says, “It is a weird one.” A weird cartoon had come on the Disney channel, so I switch to Dora the Explorer on Nickelodeon.

10:04 - I lie back down in bed.

10:11 - William comes in and says, “Mommy, the children are playing outside. Can you take me outside?” Sadly I tell him that I cannot. It is usually too hard for me to go outside in the morning, and summer temperatures often make going outside completely impossible for me. I ask William if there is something special we can do together inside. He says, “I just want to watch Dora,” and goes back to the living room to finish eating his yogurt and play while watching Dora.

10:31 - I am finally able to finish my yogurt.

10:32 - I get out of bed and put on my compression. My heart is pounding and I am worn out, so I lie back down in bed.

10:36 - My heart has stopped pounding, so I try to get up again. I get dressed, brush my hair, and wash my face.

10:42 - We are all out of coffee today, and so I am unable to get my morning dose. I make a cup of black tea instead. I also get the pancake I promised William.

10:47 - I sit on the floor with William and we eat second breakfast together.

11:00 - It look at the thermometer and find that it is only 75 degrees today! I get William and myself dressed, put on my cooling vest, and we head outside. While outside I recline in my chaise lounge, visit with the other moms, and work on my quilt mending project in my lap.

11:56 - The temperature has reached 80 degrees, and I can no longer stay in the heat. I have to go inside, but my neighbor kindly volunteers to watch William for me because they will be staying out a little bit longer. This is helpful because it gives me a chance to have some quiet in the apartment and check my email.

12:17pm - William comes inside, and I get a drink for him.

12:20 - I am tired and needing to rest. William asks to watch 3,2,1 Penguins. I gladly say yes because it gives me a chance to lie down in my recliner for a while. While reclining, I work on crocheting a baby blanket, resting my arms occasionally.

12:49 - Will comes home from school and brings a fresh bag of coffee beans. Yay! We have coffee again! Will makes lunch for us and we visit together for a while. For lunch, as for many meals, I eat while in my recliner. It is much easier than trying to sit up at the table. Will and William join me in the living room for meals.

1:40 - William plays with his daddy for a few minutes before Will has to go back to school. I rest in my recliner and enjoy a fresh cup of coffee and a magazine.

2:15 - Will goes back to school. William asks me to play cars, but before we can get started, my neighbor comes by with a loaf of bread and several bagels from free Panera bread day up at the school. William wants a bagel, so he sits on the floor and eats half a bagel while I lie down next to him, finish my coffee, and share a few bites of his bagel.

2:40 - William and I sit together in my recliner and read books.

3:11 - We finish reading and get ready for naptime.

3:31 - William is going to sleep now. I catch up on some of my blog reading.

3:50 - I go to bed to read my Bible and rest.

4:50 - Will calls, and I talk to him for a few minutes. I give him the grocery list over the phone so that he can pick up what we need before coming home.

4:55 - I realize how tired and sleepy I am, yet how much is still on the to do list for today. I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything today, and I have to remind myself of how much I have been able to do. I have loved and cared for my son all day. He is happy, healthy, and content. I got breakfast for him (well, half of it!). I took him outside for an hour. We read books together. I spent time with my husband over lunch. I read my Bible. I did a little bit of work on my crocheting project and my quilt mending project. I have worked hard and used the energy God gave me. The to-do list may still be long, but I have made progress. Slowly and steadily I will continue to get stuff done. Meanwhile, rest is important. I need to be well rested for when William gets up from his nap.

5:12 - I am still very tired, but I realize that I need to get up and wake up William. If he doesn’t get up soon then he will never go to sleep by 9:00, and I know that I will need to go to bed by 9:00 whether he does or not. William and I snuggle and talk. He asks for a snack to watch his video about animals.

5:20 - I put William’s video on and bring him the rest of his yogurt from breakfast. I lie down in my recliner unsure of what to do next. I need to pay some bills, but because most of my energy and brain power has been used up today, I decide that paying bills is going to have to wait for now.

5:30 - William comes up to snuggle me in my recliner. We watch his video together.

5:55 - Will comes home, and William begs him to play. Will needs to cook supper, though, and I need to rest. William plays by himself for a while and I continue to rest in my recliner.

6:30 - I am getting a little more energy now. I use Will’s laptop while in my recliner and get some things accomplished while Will cooks and William plays and talks to me.

7:23 - We eat supper together.

7:59 - I take a shower. Because we have a handicap accessible shower now, I am able to do this by myself on most days. In the past I always needed help from Will to prevent falls. Showering is still hard for me, but with the many aids I have in the bathroom, I am able to complete the task.

8:30 - I lie down in bed to recover from my shower. While I am in bed we do family devotions.

8:58 - Will puts William to bed. I stay in bed for the night. First I do a little bit of work. I pay the bills and open some mail.

9:25 - Will brings me some tea. What a sweetie he is. I keep working on paying bills.

9:40 - I am finished paying bills. It feels so good to have something to cross off the to-do list in my head! I rest for the remainder of the evening while Will does homework. I read on the internet using Will’s laptop, catch up on email, and read some in my book.

11:00 - Will and I spend some time together before lights out.

11:42 - I am finally feeling sleepy enough to take my meds and go to sleep. I take my sleeping pill and night time meds, brush my teeth, and crawl back into bed. Even with a sleeping pill it takes me a long time to fall asleep. Finally sometime between 12:30 and 1:00 I fall asleep.

This was a good day. It was a hard day, too; it always is. Life is hard. But I have been blessed in so many ways. God has blessed me with just what I need to make it through each day, whether a “good” day or a “bad” day. I have a small and well laid out apartment, making it easy for me to get around. I have great neighbors who are willing to help me when I need it. I have an easy going little boy who is usually flexible according to what I need. I have a helpful and caring husband, who is faithful and devoted to me no matter what trials have come. I am blessed indeed!


  1. Wow! You don't realize how much work little kids take until you read it itemized like that! And having that much trouble getting up and doing Well, it sounds like you get tons of love from that little guy of yours, probably way more cuddles than most moms of little boys get :).

    I was wondering (if you don't mind a question): It sounds as though you are exhausted all the time (I am picturing it as though you are as tired as I was during my first trimester but ALL the time. is that a good comparison?) anyways, my question is, why is it so hard to fall asleep at night? Is that a part of your condition or is it just that, like most people, your mind is super active at night??

    Thanks for sharing about your good days!!

  2. Hi Jess,

    I don't mind questions at all. Yes, I am tired all the time. I don't even know quite how to describe the fatigue and exaustion I feel. I have a lot of muscle all things considered, but my strength doesn't last long. It is hard to do anything physical, even sitting up is tiring. Sometimes just getting up and getting dressed makes me short of breath. In the long term, exercise helps a little bit, but it still doesn't improve my overall function very much. I pace myself very carefully in order to conserve my energy so that I can make it through the day.

    I have a few different sleep disorders that make sleeping difficult. I have insomnia, alpha-delta sleep, and hypersomnia.
    You are probably familiar with insomnia. It means I have a hard time falling asleep and staing asleep. Alpha-delta sleep means that my brain doesn't have the right brain waves while I am asleep. I get very little REM sleep, and the sleep I do get is not very restorative. Hypersomnia means that no matter how much I sleep, I am still sleepy.

    For a couple of years now I have been unable to sleep without a sleep med of some sort.

  3. Hi Rachel! I have always loved cuddling up with my kids to read.

    Take care!

  4. I absolutely love the picture of you and William! So sweet!
    I love how in spite of the many difficulties, you continue to stay positive and realize all the good in your life rather than dwelling on the bad. I know firsthand how hard this is to do when you feel like you're just going to collapse yet have so much left that you want to achieve.

  5. Yuck, trouble sleeping is the worst. I'm glad there is at least medication that helps the problem somewhat.

    Thanks for answering my questions. Obviously your exhaustion is much worse than pregnancy tiredness!!

  6. Hi Rachel, you are one super positive and strong women. It is amazing how children adapt to whatever circumstances - they are stronger than we give them credit for. As Jesslikesstuff said, its amazing to see how time consuming kiddies are when its written out like that.

  7. Rachel, again I will tell you that you are an inspiration to me. Thanks for sharing the good days and bad days. You are in my prayers.


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