Diamonds 2025 Fall Conference

Diamonds is having a fall conference this year! It will be a two-day conference with the theme of "Truth for Endurance." If you are weary and struggling to endure with chronic illness, this will be a weekend of encouragement and truth to help you persevere. 

The Diamonds 2025 Fall Conference, Truth for Endurance (Romans 5:1–5), is for the chronic illness warrior battling shame, the one weary from long-term health challenges, the suffering Christian wrestling with doubt, and the spoonie who feels like they have nothing left to give. Living with chronic illness is hard, but you are not alone. Together, we will explore how God’s truth gives us strength to endure, shapes our character, and anchors us in hope.  - Diamonds Conference

WHEN: November 7-8, 2025

WHERE: The conference is online, so you can join in from home! You will need to register to receive links to the conference videos.

COST: The cost is FREE for the weekend while it is live! 

I will be speaking at the conference in a panel session titled, Truth for Caregiving. I will be speaking alongside Nate Brooks and Leah Kaiser. If you are a caregiver for someone with a chronic illness, or you have a chronic illness yourself and are a caregiver/parent, I hope this session will be an encouragement to you.

If you would like to attend the Diamonds Conference, we would love to have you! You can register here. On the days of the conference, emails will be sent to you that contain links to the conference videos.

I hope to see you there!

When Hope Is Scarce

I am pleased to welcome Bethany Rose to Cranberry Tea Time today. Bethany is a fellow Minnesotan, blogger, and spoonie. She has a lovely letter today for those of you who also live with chronic illnesses. In case you aren't familiar with the term "spoonie," those who are in the chronic illness community often refer to each other as "spoonies." It is a name that comes from Christine Miserandino's helpful story called, "The Spoon Theory."

Bethany will be speaking at the Diamonds 2020 conference this weekend. If you have a chronic illness, you will want to check this out! It is online, and it is free! Details can be found at the end of the post.

Photo by Guillaume Galtier on Unsplash

Dear spoonie,

Does your pain overwhelm you? Do the days seem endless? Do you wonder if you will ever find a way out? Is hope scarce?

Hope.

What a strange word, especially for those of us who wonder if the pain will ever ease.

A sweet girl told me the other day that during the worst days of her illness friends and acquaintances would frequently tell her, “I’m so sorry-I hope you feel better soon.”

The problem with telling us to “feel better soon” is that we both know it’s insincere. It often feels as if those who say this that don’t really care whether we feel better soon or not. That hurts. And as chronic illness warriors, we become finely attuned to the meaning behind common phrases like these.

With chronic illness, healing isn’t certain, and it probably won’t happen in the near future. It feels so empty when we hear, “I hope you feel better soon.”

Hope.

It’s so easy to lose hope when your day-to-day existence is filled with pain or exhaustion.

And it’s not just healing that we lose hope in. It’s also easy to lose hope in the goodness of God, and start to believe that life is just a series of tragedies.

Dear one, what can you do when you lose hope?

Throughout my illness, I have lost hope many times. And I have learned something which transformed the way I think about hopelessness.

When we are in a dark place, the solution is not to notice the darkness, to calculate how many more hours we must exist until dawn sprinkles sunshine on our faces again. Instead, when we are surrounded by darkness, we look up. For the night sky is peppered with stars.

I remember a dear friend messaging me, asking me, “When will this feeling end?”

I told her, “It will take time, but you will come out.

Take it one breath at a time.

Pause, and look at the night sky. It is vast, and it is wild, and it is not joyful. It has seen a thousand wrongs in the same moment as it saw a thousand rights. Look out your window. That ancient sky? Somewhere behind it is a Maker who will one day rip the sky apart to come and right every wrong.

You’re not alone.”

No matter what your illness is, God has not abandoned you. He will one day right the wrongs of this broken world. And if you simply look around, look up, into the sky, you will find small reminders of His enduring love.

Yet you wonder-how can I? My symptoms prevent me. Yes friend, sometimes our symptoms make finding reminders of God’s love harder. But that which is harder won is the more precious.

Perhaps you are a spoonie with light sensitivity. You can’t watch the sunrise, but you can close your eyes and go out into a garden or park. Inhale the scents. It’s winter now where I live in Minnesota, cold, frozen, lonely. You may think that winter doesn’t have a scent, but your nose will change your mind. Breathe deeply. What do you smell?

The first thing I notice in the winter air is the crispness. Then I smell underneath it the everlasting scent of the earth, quiet and strong, despite being stuck in winter’s icy clasp. I smell the earth, and I remember that God will bring spring again.

Dear spoonie, if we only hope for healing, we miss all the beauty God has given to us to relieve the bitter cold of winter. Yet if we choose to look up, we can find the little blessings which make a hard season of life bearable.

For we do not only hope for the relieving of our pain. Our primary source of hope is God.

“We put our hope in the Lord.
    He is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
    for we trust in his holy name.
Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
    for our hope is in you alone.”
Psalm 33:20-22

He will not disappoint us. He may not take away our pain, but He will help us to bear it. And when we begin to doubt that He really is here with us, if we only look around, we will see a thousand evidences that His love for us is still as strong as it was the day Jesus bore both our sins and our sorrows on the Cross.

And though our pain seems to last forever, soon, it will pass away.

So dear spoonie, when we begin to lose hope let us look to God. Let us be in awe of Him. Let us find the little blessings He gives us each day. But most of all, let us cling fast to the knowledge that He is guarding us. He is keeping us. He is with us!

Dear spoonie, when hope is scarce, look up.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials.” 1 Peter 1:3-6

Bethany’s name means “bright city on a hill.” This is her mission in life, to illuminate the beautiful things and shine God’s light where there was darkness. Bethany leads The Wilting Rose Project, a ministry of encouragement and truth for young women who feel their struggles make them worthless. She writes fairytales heavily inspired by her love of the forest, where she spends many of her mornings soaking in the uniquely Minnesotan beauty. Her blog includes more personal documentation of her battle the last few years with Lyme disease and Toxic Mold illness and her journey of healing.

What is Diamonds 2020? Diamonds 2020 is a free online conference for chronically ill Christians.

When is Diamonds 2020? January 23rd-25th, 2020

Who is speaking at Diamonds 2020? 16 awesome chronically ill warriors.

What does Diamonds 2020 cost? Nothing!

Where is Diamonds 2020? You can register for free at this link.

The Gift of Time to Pray

December was a busy month for my family. It was filled with birthdays, work, and celebrations. When January arrived, we settled back into our regular routine. School started again for my children, and my husband went back to work. I wanted to get busy too. I was ready to start reading and writing again. I was ready to help out with small tasks around the home.

But my body was too worn out from the holiday season. I used up a lot of energy over Christmas break, and my body has had a hard time recovering from the exertion. The fatigue has made it difficult to type on my laptop, even while lying down in bed. Sometimes it has been too hard to read or even watch a movie. The extra tiredness has been discouraging for me. I have wanted to do more to serve my family, but the fatigue has kept me still and quiet.

I was feeling sad about all that I could not do, but then I decided to shift my focus and look for the gifts found in the mundane, quiet days at home. I started adding up the time that I spent in prayer on my tired days, and I soon realized that I was spending two hours or more in prayer on many of those days! Because I was too tired to do my normal tasks, I was able to spend much more time in prayer.

In the middle of these weak and tired days, I have been given a good gift: uninterrupted time to pray. Many Christians would be grateful for two hours of time alone with God each day to pray. The time I have to pray is a precious gift, and I am learning to accept it as such.

I live in a body of weakness. Maybe you do too. It is a comfort to know that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). God can work through our weak and tired bodies, and spending time in prayer is one way we can let Him work through us. It is also a comfort to know that the “Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26).

So this winter, as I rest and recover from the holidays, I am keeping my prayer cards nearby. When I am too tired to read a book or write a blog post, I will spend time in prayer. This extra time spent in prayer for friends, family, ministries, and missionaries is not time that is wasted. It is time that is spent on Kingdom work! It is a privilege to come before the Lord in my weakness and pray, and it is a comfort to know that the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf.

Is there a limitation you are facing that makes life difficult, but that opens up new opportunities? What gifts have come as a result of a disability or illness in your life?

This article was originally published on The Irresistible Church.

Book Review: I Am N

“I am n?” What does that mean? 

When militants from the self-proclaimed Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) moved into northern Iraq, they began identifying Christian-owned property. Families would find the Arabic letter ن (nun, noon), or n, painted on their homes and churches. This single letter conveyed the powerful accusation that the occupants were “Nazarenes,” people who followed Jesus of Nazareth rather than Islam. 

To be labeled “n” in a community dominated by Muslim extremists is to undergo an immediate identity and life change. With this mark comes the ultimatum: If you convert to Islam or pay the tax, you can keep your material possessions and remain in this community. If not, leave or you will die. 

Any person who takes a stand for Jesus in occupied Iraq, any person who chooses to be “n,” pays a high cost. 

- The Voice of the Martyrs, I Am N

On the days when I have to spend my time confined to bed, I often think about, and pray for, the persecuted church. It is easy to feel lonely and sorry for myself, but when I think about my brothers and sisters in Christ who are suffering for their faith around the world, my hard days are put into perspective. I may be alone, but I am in a comfortable bed and a cozy house. I may be tired, but I have food and water. I have access to Scripture. I have a husband and children who take care of me.

Praying for the persecuted church helps me to focus on others instead of on myself, and it gives me something productive to do even when I am exhausted.

Because the persecuted church is often on my mind and heart, I was grateful for the opportunity to read I Am N: Inspiring Stories of Christians Facing Islamic Extremists. This book was released by The Voice of the Martyrs earlier this year, and it tells of real events that took place between the years of 2001 and 2015. Some details like names and specific locations have been changed in order to protect the people whose stories are being shared, but the book gives real accounts of modern day persecution.

It took me three months to read I Am N because of the heavy nature of the content. I never read more than three stories at one time, and I often only read one story before taking a break for a few days. It was a hard book to read, but also a very good book to read. This book helped me to better understand the hardships faced by persecuted Christians, and it provided me with the opportunity to pray for specific Christians in specific ways.

I thank the Lord for the faithful testimony of these believers who are standing firm in the faith, despite insults, loss of family, loss of property, physical harm, and risk of death. Their faithfulness encourages me to persevere in my faith and in the life to which God has called me.

I received a complimentary copy of I Am N from the publisher through Net Galley. All opinions are my own.

I Am N - The Story

If you are reading this in an email, please click over to the blog to see the video.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. 

1 Peter 5:8-11

Persevering and Choosing Joy on the Hard Days

The past few weeks have been filled with a lot of hard days. A "good day" is when I am able to be out of bed for four or five hours, but even on the good days, I often struggle to move. My body feels like it is on its last drop of energy, and everything I do is a physical challenge. Sometimes I wonder how my muscles are even moving because they are so tired it feels like it shouldn't be possible.

My body is tired, and my mind is tired, but I want to persevere. I want to keep on keeping on when life is hard. I want to choose joy not just on the good days, but on the bad days too. Here are some things I have intentionally been doing lately as I seek to persevere and choose joy:

Reading through Job and Psalms. I am working on reading through the Bible this year, and it "just so happens" that I recently finished the book of Job and am now reading in Psalms. It has been perfect timing, and the words of Scripture have encouraged and strengthened my heart.

Praying daily. I often ask God to help me be "joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12).

Listening to music that encourages me to persevere. I have a playlist with some of my favorite songs that I like to listen to while resting in bed.

Putting on lotion that smells good. I have recently been wearing Peppermint Spice body butter on my hands. It smells like Christmas and the outdoors and happiness all rolled into one. And it was made by my friend, Dorina. I can't help but smile when I wear this!

Enjoying Dandelions. Wildflowers from my daughter are a sweet reminder to find love and beauty where there are weeds.

Sitting by the fire pit. This is homebound camping at its finest! I really miss camping, but being able to sit by a fire in my backyard was such a treat. It wore me out so much that after 2 hours I had to go inside and take a nap! But the picnic, fire, and time with my family was delightful.

Appreciating the extra time to crochet. After finishing my scarf, I made fingerless gloves with the leftover yarn. Now I am working on a baby sweater, bonnet, and booties to enter at the county fair this summer. If I wasn't struggling with brain fog I would have been spending a lot of my recent time writing instead. The brain fog has been a blessing because it has forced me to spend more time crocheting, which is something I love to do.


How about you? What are you struggling with currently? And how are you choosing joy and persevering? Let's share our ideas and encourage one another today!

Keep on keeping on, sweet friend! Or, as my friend Elizabeth often tells me, "KOKO!"

Eight Reasons I Am Thankful for Dysautonomia

God has given me a life that is much different than I dreamed it would be, but also better than I could have ever planned or imagined. I trust that life with dysautonomia is His good plan for my life. I do not understand all of God’s purposes in allowing me to be a disabled and homebound wife and mother. God’s ways are not my ways. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. But even in my limited understanding, I can see ways that dysautonomia is beneficial for me. I am thankful for the many blessings that have come because I have dysautonomia.

Here are 8 reasons I am thankful for dysautonomia:

Dysautonomia reminds me each day that I need the Lord. Every day I wake up to a sick, weak, and miserable feeling in my body. I am keenly aware that I cannot control my health or my strength. I cannot make my body function properly. It is truly the Lord who sustains life, gives health, and gives weakness. I have learned to see the pain and weakness in my body as a grace and a mercy. It is a daily reminder of my need for, and my dependence upon, the Lord.

I have made many friends online whom I never would have met if I did not have dysautonomia. Through places like DINET, blogs, and Facebook groups, I have met so many people with dysautonomia, chronic illnesses, and other disabilities. These friendships are a treasure to me! I have learned a lot from my friends who live with various illnesses and disabilities. They have encouraged me through their examples, inspired me with their courage, and blessed me with their friendship.

Dysautonomia brought me to the point of starting a blog. I probably would not be blogging if I were not ill and homebound. Blogging has been a wonderful creative outlet and connection to the outside world. If I did not have dysautonomia I probably never would have started blogging. I would have been too busy to sit down behind a computer for hours each week. Dysautonomia has caused me to slow down and take time to write.

Through living with dysautonomia I am learning to persevere. Although trials are not pleasant, they are beneficial. They are so beneficial that we are to count it all joy when we face trials (James1:2-4). For this reason, I am grateful for dysautonomia. It gives me opportunity each day to persevere in hardship. Each day I push my body to keep going and not give up. I seek to be content and enjoy my life. I spend time with the Lord when my mind and my body are tired. I give of myself to my husband and my children. I am learning to persevere, and it is growing me to maturity. What a blessing!

My children learn compassion through having a disabled mother. Because of my needs, William and Adelaide had to learn from a very young age to be gentle and quiet. They learned to look out not just for their own comfort, but for mine as well. They have learned to serve me when I need help. These lessons in compassion and servanthood will be beneficial to them for the rest of their lives.

Dysautonomia provides challenges that cause our marriage to be strengthened when we persevere in love and faithfulness. Marriage affected by a disability is hard. But when Will and I determine to persevere in the challenges, to love and serve each other, and to cling to the Lord through it all, our marriage is strengthened. Dysautonomia makes marriage hard, but it brings us closer together, and that leads to much happiness in marriage!

Living with dysautonomia reminds me to keep an eternal perspective. My body is tired and weak. My health has been steadily declining for 16 years. My hope is not in good health in this life. My hope is in the life to come. My hope is in the One who paid the price for my sin, taking the punishment that I deserve, so that one day I can be free of this body of death and live forever on the New Earth. As I struggle to persevere in this weak and tired body, I am reminded that this body is not the only body I will ever have. This life is not my only chance at happiness. The best is yet to come!

I am gaining reward in Heaven when I suffer faithfully. This is such a reason to be happy in life with dysautonomia! I cling to these verses daily: “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

It always astounds me that suffering is incredibly beneficial to believers in the Lord Jesus Christ! A faithful response to suffering will result in a greater reward than we would receive if we did not suffer at all. And the reward awaiting us in Heaven is far out of proportion any suffering we could ever endure on earth. Suffering will one day be worth it all. Because there is reward for living faithfully in the midst of affliction, I am very grateful for dysautonomia!

I would love to hear from you! What hard things do you face in life? What reasons have you found to be thankful for suffering?

Do You Have What it Takes to Hope?

This summer my husband preached a sermon about hope based on 1 Peter 1:13. I was not able to attend church to hear him preach, but I listened to his sermon at home. It encouraged me, and I asked Will if I could share it with all of you. He said that I could. Below you will find a link to an mp3 of his sermon, plus my sermon notes. May this encourage you today to have hope and to persevere!

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.  

10 Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully, 11 inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories. 12 It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look. 

13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

1 Peter 1:3-13

Listen here: Do You Have What it Takes to Hope?

We are commanded to HOPE! Do not under any circumstances give in to despair. Hope. We are a people who are to be characterized by hope.

What is hope? 

• Hope is an internal conviction that circumstances in the future will be more favorable than circumstances in the present. 
• The object of a person’s trust or hope. It is that to which you look for refuge.

Jesus is a shelter in the time of storm. Your refuge, the place you seek shelter, is your hope.

How are we going to have the right kind of hope? How do we know what it takes to genuinely have hope?

1. Our hope needs the right occasion.

• The occasion of our hope is “the revelation of Jesus Christ” (v. 13).
• Our hope is in His Second Coming.
• 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
• 2 Thessalonians 1:6-10
• 2 Thessalonians 2:7-10

2. Our hope needs the right object.

• Our hope lies outside of us, and we are waiting for it to come.
• The grace that is coming to you when Jesus comes back is glory. Praise, glory, and honor is coming to you (v. 7).
• We suffer now so that we can later receive glory.
• The purpose of your current suffering is glory.
• 1 Peter 4:12-14 - Rejoice in suffering so that you also may be glad and rejoice when His glory is revealed.
• 1 Peter 5:1 - We are going to be partakers of the glory.
• 1 Peter 5:10 - We are called to His glory.
• Romans 8:17 - We are fellow heirs. We suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
• Romans 8:29-30 - "...And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."
• 2 Corinthians 4:17 - "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison."
• Reward is coming! 
• Are you concerned about your comfort? Or are you concerned about your glory?
• If you are genuinely concerned about your glory, you will endure suffering with joy for the sake of Jesus Christ, and you will set your hope on this grace. This will be your hope, and you will cease to care even a wit about the accolades or the insults of men.

3. Our hope needs the right mindset.

• What does it take to have the kind of unbreakable hope that is commanded here?
• Our mindset has to be right, and it takes work. Despair is the default. We have to have a mindset that fights against that.
• What does it mean to "gird up the loins of your mind"? This is how you gird up your loins (link to the image Will shared during his sermon). 
• Remove every encumbrance. Remove every idol. Remove every false hope.
• Be sober-minded. Be disciplined over your thoughts. Think true thoughts. Have intellectual discipline.

Will you give in to despair and abandon Christ? Or will you steadfastly hope and set your hope in this grace that is coming to you?

Do you have what it takes to hope?

A Daily Fight to Stay Satisfied in Jesus

Today is the last day of Invisible Illness Week. Thank you to my faithful readers who have been coming here each day! Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me this week through emails, comments, and sharing my blog posts. Thank you for caring and for helping to spread invisible illness awareness!

Today I would like to share this short message from Joni as my final invisible fight blog post.

Joni Eareckson Tada: It's a daily fight to stay satisfied in Jesus.

"Ours is a daily fight to stay satisfied in Jesus. It is a fight, and yes - yes - I experience battle fatigue, but our fight will not go on forever. The end is in sight!" - Joni

Remember that Jesus is more valuable than anything you might suffer. Keep fighting the good fight. One day this life of suffering will end. If you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then you have the hope of Heaven to look forward to! Keep fighting to stay satisfied in Jesus.

Read more Invisible Fight blog posts here.

Fight the Good Fight of Faith

It is Invisible Illness Week, but whether you have an invisible illness or not, if you know Jesus as your Savior, I have encouragement for you today from God’s Word.

We all face hard things in life. You may be fighting an invisible illness, or you may be struggling in some other area of life. No matter what you are going through, I encourage you to persevere in the fight of faith! Keep your eyes on Jesus and “pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1 Timothy 6:11b-12).

Sometimes the trials of life seem overwhelming. It is easy to look at our problems, or see the suffering around us, and feel like we can’t continue to persevere. But dear friend, with God’s strength, we can persevere! We need to keep our eyes on Jesus so that we do not grow weary in the fight.

I was recently encouraged by this quote from John Piper: “When you feel like you can’t take it anymore, look to Jesus, and take it a little more.”

Hebrews 12:1-3 always helps me to look to Jesus.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

Jesus endured more suffering than you or I ever will. We have Him as our example, and we have Him to give us strength in the hard days. We don’t have a Savior who is far-removed from suffering. No, we have a Savior who willingly entered into suffering on our behalf! He chose to enter into our world, and He took on the limitations of the human body. He became tired and hungry. He faced temptation. He was mocked and scorned. He suffered with us and for us. He came because we needed Him. He suffered the wrath of God on the cross so that we might never have to. He came to save us from our sins and to redeem us as His own!

Jesus has suffered so much for me. He has forgiven me of my sins, and He has promised me a home in Heaven! I will gladly endure hardship for Him. I will suffer through anything He calls me to suffer. When I feel overwhelmed in the fight of invisible illness or the fight of faith, I simply have to look to Jesus for strength to endure.

Oh, friend, look to Jesus. Keep on keeping on. May we be able to say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7-8).

Your reward is coming! Look to Jesus, and fight the good fight. When you feel like you can’t take it anymore, look to Jesus, and take it a little more.

Read more Invisible Fight blog posts here!

My Invisible Fight

Each day with an invisible illness is a fight against my body. I fight to wake up. I fight to make my body move. I fight to get out of bed. I fight to spend time with my family. I fight to think, communicate, read, and write. Through it all, I fight for joy.

My invisible fight begins in the morning when I start waking up around 10:00 or 11:00 am. Every morning I wake up with a miserable, sick, and weak feeling in my body. It overwhelms me, and I start praying right away. I can’t think clearly when I first wake up, so my prayer is usually something very simple like, “Please help me, God. I don’t feel well. Please give me strength. I need you.” Sometimes I go back and forth between sleep and prayer for an hour. Waking up is not easy. It is a fight every morning.

After waking up, I fight through morning brain fog. I read blogs and check Facebook to help my mind wake up. When enough of the brain fog has cleared, I read and study my Bible. This brings me joy, and it helps me to keep life in a proper perspective. After reading my Bible, if I am able to think clearly enough, I like to correspond with friends, write a blog post, or read a good book. I keep resting in bed until the afternoon so that my spoons for the day are not used up too quickly.

Around 2:00 in the afternoon I fight my body to get out of bed. Being out of bed is always hard because my body does not counteract gravity very well (I will tell you more about that fight tomorrow). I walk around the house as much as I can in the afternoon, and this is my daily exercise. It helps me to maintain as much muscle tone as possible, but it depletes my energy levels quickly.

William and Adelaide come home from school at 3:25. They bring such joy to my life, and I fight for time with them. I like to sit with them on the sofa and hear about their day. We do homework together. Sometimes we eat a snack. On the really tired days I lie down on the sofa, and Adelaide and I watch a movie together.

Between 4:00 and 5:00 each day I feel my spoons slipping away. They are almost gone, and I fight to stay up until Will gets home from work. By 6:00 my body is almost ready to give up the fight for the day. I push myself a little longer and a little harder, but by 6:30 or 7:00 I am in bed for the night. My spoons are gone, and it is time crash out and rest up for the fight that is coming the next day. I usually get to spend some time with Will at night before we fall asleep, and this makes me happy. It is the perfect ending to the day!

Each day with dysautonomia is a fight to move and do as much as I can. I thank the Lord for my family and for the help they give to me, and I thank Him for the friends who encourage me in my invisible fight.

The Lord provides grace and strength and joy each day as I face life with an invisible chronic illness. I am grateful to Him for never leaving me alone in my invisible fight. 

Read more Invisible Fight blog posts here.

Hold Me, Jesus

This summer my husband was asked to sing "Hold Me, Jesus" in church. It wasn't a song he had sung or played before, so he practiced it a lot here at home leading up to that Sunday. As providence would have it, the week Will was practicing the song was an especially difficult week for our family. We were all weary and overwhelmed by life with a chronic illness. During that challenging week we would find ourselves singing or humming this song. Even the children joined in. The words of this song were a grace, and they spoke peace into our lives.

You may be going through trying times right now as well. This song comforted us, and I pray that it comforts you today too.

Will Lundy singing Hold Me, Jesus

(If you are reading this in an email, you can click here to see the video.)

Hold Me, Jesus 
by Rich Mullins 

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small 

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace 

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart 

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace 

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees 

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin 

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surviving Summer

This is a challenging summer for my family and me. My body is weak and tired, and I am struggling to take care of William and Adelaide while Will is at work. I stay in bed most of the weekend so that I can partially recover for the next week. My body is unable to completely recover in only two days, so each week is harder than the one before. I’m borrowing spoons from the fall to make it through the summer.

William and Adelaide haven’t complained about it at all, but the summer is wearing on them. They miss me being able to do things with them, and it is hard on them to see me so tired and weak. They also miss having our family of four together at one time. I have to go to bed almost as soon as Will gets home from work each day, and because I have to spend the majority of the weekend in bed, we have precious little time as a family. This is a hard summer for all of us, so we pray for strength, and we press on.

A couple of months ago I was planning on writing a blog post with tips for surviving summer as a mom with a chronic illness, but instead I find myself with very few tips. I can do so little that most days it feels like I’m barely holding on, so my tips are quite simple: Pray. Read your Bible. Rest. Be with your children when you can. Watch Movies. Teach your children to help out. Accept help from others. That is pretty much my formula for making it through this summer!

Pray.

Talk to the Lord every day, and ask Him to help you through your day. I start praying as soon as I wake up. My body feels so weak and tired that it overwhelms me every morning. I pray for grace and strength to make it through the day.

Read the Bible.

No matter how tired you are, don’t neglect God’s Word! Even if you can only read one verse, read it. Think about it. Ask God to teach you and encourage you through His Word. If you are able, read the Bible with your children also. I read my Bible each day. On some days I am able to do a 15 minute Bible study while lying down in bed. On other days I can only read a few verses, but I do what my energy levels allow. When I am doing well enough, I also like to have a devotion time with the children. William and Adelaide have really enjoyed reading through Matthew and this devotion book with me.

Rest.

Take time to rest each day. If your children don’t need naps, they can read or play quietly while you rest. I am not always able to get the rest I need every day, but I rest as much as I can. William and Adelaide play quietly in the house and watch movies when I have a particularly bad day and need to stay in bed all day long.

Be with your children.

Do what you can to be with your children in the summer. If you are a mom with a chronic illness, that may look a lot different for you than it does for your healthy friends, and that’s okay. You don’t have to take them to the park or the pool or on amazing summer trips. Just be with them. Read books, color, watch movies, or play board games. When you need a lot of rest, don’t feel guilty about watching movies with them. Which brings me to my next summer tip…

Watch movies.
This could go under the categories of rest or being with your children, but movies are so helpful that I am putting them in a category of their own. There have been many days this summer that the only thing I was physically capable of doing with my children was watching movies, so we gathered on the sofa and did just that. I wish we could have memories of going on walks and playing at the pool, but that is not an option. So we make fun memories with movie days!

Teach your children to help.

You can teach your children age appropriate chores so that they can help you in your home. William and Adelaide have been so helpful this summer. They help to clean up the living room and their bedrooms. They have learned to start the dishwasher. They pick vegetables from our garden. Adelaide likes to bring snacks to me. William fills up my water bottle when I can’t do it myself. William has also been vacuuming the house this summer.

Accept help from others.

If you have the option of accepting help, don’t be too proud to accept it. If a friend offers to help, and you need it, take it! We have had some full-time, in-home help this summer from family and a friend who have visited, and we are so grateful for that! I also have a local friend who has helped me out by taking care of William and Adelaide on some mornings so that I can get extra rest. 

That is how I am surviving summer. What about you? I know there are many other chronic illness moms who are struggling this summer too. Maybe you are one of them. What tips and advice do you have to share with us? Let’s learn from each other, and let’s encourage one another!

Free Ebook: Hope for the Hard Days

Edited 3-11-24 to add:

Hope for the Hard Days is now available on Amazon as a Kindle or a paperback copy. You are also still welcome to download a free (updated) PDF version here.

Hope for the Hard Days: A 30 Day Devotional for the Tired and Weary

It is here! I am so excited to share Hope for the Hard Days with all of you. God has given me much encouragement and comfort through His Word, and I want to pass on that encouragement and comfort to you. I pray that you will not despair when the hard days come, but that you will cling to the hope found in Christ.

I live with a chronic illness, and there are days when I am spiritually weary from the fight and need to be reminded of the hope I have in the Lord. Some of the devotions in this book were written on the days when I struggled to cling to hope. I wrote the words that I needed to hear on those hard days. Perhaps they are the words you need to hear too. 

What others are saying about Hope for the Hard Days:

“Rachel's devotional is full of hope gleaned from God's Word - hope that we can have only through the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Writing from the perspective of someone who knows what it is like to live with a debilitating chronic illness, Rachel's joy shines through. Her perspective will encourage you no matter what you're presently facing in your life. I recommend Hope for the Hard Days to anyone experiencing tough times.” 

       Linda Massey Weddle, Senior Writer/Corporate blogger – Awana, blog.awana.org

"There are days when hope is hard to find.  Yet when we seek Him and Truth, we discover that HE is the Hope that anchors our soul. Hope for the Hard Days is written by one who knows affliction.  Rachel Lundy has given us rich and yet tender words for our fragile, weary seasons, timely words for any struggler.  She writes with beautiful honesty, raw reality yet brimming with hope for those who may have little.”

       Kathy Ferguson Litton, National Consultant for Ministry to Pastor's Wives, flourish.me

“Rachel Lundy’s example of faithfulness in difficult circumstances was a blessing to me before I became ill, but since becoming partially homebound myself during treatment for cancer, her grace and beauty have inspired me to embrace my own situation as a part of God’s divine design. She has taught me to look for God’s hand in all of life, and through this series of devotions, she will encourage, inspire, and lead others to look to the Lord and His strength.”

       Beth Holmes, ministry wife, mom, blogger at bethholmes.wordpress.com

“Rachel's heart for those walking through difficult times is evident in the pages of her new devotional Hope for the Hard Days. As a woman who is no stranger to pain and weariness, Rachel desires to share the hope she has found in a relationship with God that helps sustain her. Recognizing that life can't and won't be ‘perfect,’ Rachel pairs her own experiences and hardships with the scriptures that have encouraged her, to offer a way of living that we all can benefit from. No matter where your journey finds you today, Hope for the Hard Days is the perfect devotional to begin your day with."

       Kristin Smith, wife, mother and writer at The Riches of His Love and God-sized Dreams

View the free ebook here: Hope for the Hard Days.

The ebook can be read online if you wish. You are also welcome to download and print it at home.

I hope and pray that this ebook will be a blessing to you. May you always abound in hope and cling to the Lord Jesus Christ!

Hope for the Hard Days Reviews

If you have read and reviewed Hope for the Hard Days, you are invited to share your review with the Cranberry Tea Time community. Please comment or send an email to me with your review link, and I will add your link to the list.

• "Hope for the Hard Days" Review, by Stacey Patrick, writer at Gracefully Overcoming
• Recommendation Saturday: Hope for the Hard Days, a review by Shelly, writer at Renewed Daily

You can read Goodreads reviews of Hope for the Hard Days here.

Blessings in the Hard Days

These past 9 months have been particularly hard for me. If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I had a small “crash,” as we call it, this winter. I have been recovering since March, but it is slow going. Based on past experience it will be another 6-12 months before I know how much strength and energy I am able to regain. These extra tired days have been hard, both for me and for my family. There have been many naps, a lot of rest, tears, tiredness, questions, and few answers. But there has also been a lot of joy and laughter, prayer and perseverance.

As I reflect on this year so far, I see that there is so much to be thankful for in the midst of, and even because of, hard things in life. Here are some of the good things that come from my struggle with dysautonomia:

• I learn perseverance and grow in maturity.
• Godly character is being produced in me.
• I have a constant reminder of my need for God.
• Trials cause me to look to Jesus for help and strength.
• Failing health is a reminder that this world is not my home.
• I develop patience.
• I learn humility.
• I receive comfort from God and learn how to comfort others.
• I have opportunities to share the gospel and minister to others in ways I could not if I were healthy.
• Servant’s hearts are being developed in William and Adelaide as they help me and love me.
• William and Adelaide learn patience and compassion.
• The gospel is put on display as Will takes care of me and loves me as Christ loved the church.
• God is glorified when I remain faithful in the midst of suffering.

Life is hard, but if you know Christ, then you have hope and reason to rejoice in suffering!

“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).

What good things have you seen come out of trials and hard times?

Five Minute Friday: Finish

Today I am joining in Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo Baker and more than a hundred other bloggers. We write for just five minutes without worrying about making everything perfect. We write for practice. We write for the joy of writing. We write to share our words with one another, to encourage one another in life and in writing. Today the writing prompt is "finish."

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. Hebrews 12:1-3 

Physically I cannot run anymore. My body is too tired and weak. But spiritually I am running in a race, and dear Christian friend, you are too! Let us run this race well. Let us finish well. “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it” (1Corinthians 9:24).

Running the great race of faith can be wearying. How do we combat the weariness? How do we avoid becoming fainthearted and instead persevere? I love the encouragement found in Hebrews 12:3 which says, “Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” That is how we combat the weariness. We consider Him; we look to Jesus. We follow His example and take courage. Jesus knows what it is like to suffer. He suffered on the cross on our behalf, and He suffered more than any of us ever will. Consider Him. Keep your eyes on Him, and rest in His grace.

Run hard, friend! Keep your eyes on Jesus. Let us fight the good fight and finish the race.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Photo Credit: Olga Caprotti

Five Minute Friday: Grateful

It is time for Five Minute Friday! Last night I saw on twitter that Lisa-Jo had announced the Five Minute Friday word prompt: grateful. "That will be an easy one," I thought to myself. "I have had a very difficult week, but I can choose to focus on what I have to be grateful for, and I can share about that."

I had a simple post in mind, one that could easily be typed up in only five minutes. It was a post that would briefly share the physical struggles I have had this week and then focus on a list of all of the many wonderful blessings for which I am grateful. But it didn't sit right with me. Something was missing. The post I had in mind I was mostly choosing to ignore the hard things and just focusing on the happy and cheerful things of life. It is good to be grateful for those things, but gratitude should go farther than just focusing on happy things.

I have been mulling things over last night and this morning. I've never put so much thought into a Five Minute Friday post! I have been thinking about gratitude, suffering, and Ephesians 5:20 in which we are commanded to give thanks for everything. Everything. Even the weakness, loneliness, and bad days. After much thought and prayer, here is my Five Minute Friday post. (Disclaimer: I forgot to look at the clock when I wrote my five minute post. I probably went well over my allotted time.)

This has been a difficult week for me. On Monday I felt pretty well in comparison to the last few months, but after a meeting that afternoon and supper with my family, my body was done. I was tired, weak, and exhausted. It is now Friday, and I still haven't recovered from Monday.

My health has been steadily declining since September. In December my health started declining more quickly. My body is weak and tired, and I have to spend most of my time in bed. When I do choose to push myself to have friends over or spend extra time with my family, I pay for it for a week or more. These are hard and challenging days for me.

As I think about gratitude in the midst of my current circumstances, my mind keeps going back to Ephesians 5:20. I look it up in my Bible, and it says, "giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

For everything? I am to give thanks for declining health and diminishing energy?

Yes, I believe I am. As a Christian, I am to give thanks for all things. Even suffering is a gift from God.

I turn to Philippians 1:29, and it reads, "For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake." In this  verse, "granted" (echaristhe) means to give freely and graciously. God in His sovereignty bestows suffering. Suffering is a gift.

On these weak and tired days suffering feels like anything but a gift. How can this be a gift? And how can I give thanks for it? It helps to remember Romans 8:28,  "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

And there it is. God is working all things for my good. Even dysautonomia. Even declining health. Even the loss of energy. These things are, as Joni Eareckson Tada says, "a severe mercy." Because God is ultimately using all of these things for my good, I can thank Him for them. I must thank Him for them.

I think of 2 Corinthians 4:17, my favorite verse: "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." Wow. What a reason to be grateful for affliction! The suffering that I endure faithfully now will result in great reward in Heaven, a reward that is completely out of proportion to any hardship I endure.

Thank you, Lord, for this severe mercy. May I never forget to be grateful to you for your many blessings, whether they be pleasant or painful.