New Normal has been hard to get used to. It was months before I even wrote on my blog about New Normal because I kept hoping that my health would still improve some, but it never did. Then a few weeks after I wrote New Normal I actually had a good week! I had more good days in a row than I had had in a long time. For a week I didn’t feel like I was constantly on my last drop of energy or finishing up the last lap in a long race. Resting in bed was comfortable again. My muscles didn’t burn and ache when I used them. My legs felt like they could hold me up.
I enjoyed the good week playing with my children, spending time with my husband, visiting with others, and feeling better than I had in months. I hoped that I was improving again. I hoped that New Normal would change. I hoped that I could begin to do more on a regular basis. I hoped that some minor tweaks in medications and supplements would help me to continue to see those improvements. I hoped that God was giving me a little more energy again.
However, the changes haven’t been permanent. They were only some good days, now followed again by what is indeed New Normal. It is easier to have bad days when all days are bad days, but when I get a taste of a little bit of energy again? That’s when the bad days and normal days become much harder to take.
On good days it is easy to hope for more. It is easy to hope that I will always have that much energy, but then the normal days and bad days come again. My energy leaves me. I eat healthy food, but my muscles still feel like they have no energy. I get adequate sleep, but still feel sleepy all day long. I have to lie in bed, and I miss my family. The hope of better days is taken away.
But my true hope has not been taken away, and it never can be.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35-39, NIV).
My hope is sure. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV).
What earthly hopes do you have that have been taken away? I encourage you to fix your eyes on Jesus. Believe in Him as your Savior and follow Him. Jesus offers hope that can never be taken away.
Hey Rach. Just wanted you to know that I admire you and love you. I hope your strength will continue to grow...but even if it doesn't that your strength in the Lord will. I always remember our times together at ABC and afterwards with joy. Praying for you my friend :)
ReplyDeleteAmy Signs
Hi Amy, thank so much for your friendship, your encouraging words, and your prayers. I remember our times at ABC with fond memories too. Fun times!
ReplyDeleteRachel, I will pray for you! Thank you being so open about your struggles... my heart breaks that it has been such a struggle. It has been so encouraging to hear you glorifying the Lord and seeing the strength of the Lord strongly displayed through you. I am so thankful the Lord brought you into my life! He has used you to greatly encourage my heart and give me a bigger passion for Alaska :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing. Miss you! God has developed such a sweet spirit in you. You are iron sharpening iron even if you have no energy. Keep on keeping on!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing about your health, feeling discouraged, and still having hope. You are such an encouragement!
ReplyDeleteThis is such an encouragement, and very timely, as I've been pretty much unable to get out of bed this weekend. Sometimes I feel like it's so hard to even get a taste of feeling well - because then I know what I'm missing, and the hard days feel so much harder! But on these hard days, it's so good to have the sure hope of heaven and the promise of God's steadfast love, which doesn't change regardless of where I am physically, emotionally, or spiritually. So thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amber. I don't know that I'll ever be able to go back to Alaska, but I'm so thankful that the Lord has given you a heart for Alaska. I'll just have to live vicariously through you. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Janie!
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome, Phoebe, and thank you for reading. I'm sorry you've been stuck in bed this weekend. That is a difficult and frustrating place to be. I will be praying that the Lord will comfort you and give you peace during these hard days.
ReplyDeleteI think you pretty much nailed it on the head. I've said over & over, each time a treatment worked for a short period of time, that I wish I wouldn't even have the relief, because each time you backslide, it gets just a tad bit harder, just a bit more difficult psychologically.
ReplyDeleteIt is, indeed, the New Normal.
Hugs, sweetie!
Thank you, Elizabeth, for your encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend. Yes, it is hard to have some minor relief and then go right back to where you were. I'm so thankful for the sure hope I have that cannot be taken away!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your emotional journey. I'm stopping by from the link party. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your very true words. I'm stopping by from the link party. You have expressed what my life has been for the past few years. Those few good days make the more frequent bad ones that much more harder to bear yet we were put in this position from God because he has trusted us with the capacity to endure and persevere and to find renewed strength in Him. God bless you!
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