Five Minute Friday: Nothing

It is time for Five Minute Friday with Lisa Jo and the blogging community. We gather together to write for just five minutes. No over-thinking or over-editing. It is fast and easy blogging, just what this body of mine needs! This week the writing prompt is "nothing."

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

When it comes to strength and energy, I am lacking. When it comes to physical ability to stand, cook, clean, do laundry, and go shopping, I am lacking. There is much that my body cannot do. Physically, life isn’t particularly comfortable. But as my husband has said, “God cares more about our sanctification than He does about our comfort.”

There is purpose in my health troubles. There is purpose in the various trials I face. In the book of James, God says that “the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” Through the challenges I face with my health, I am learning endurance. I am learning to persevere. I press on so that I will one day be “perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Maturity and growing in holiness is the goal. For this reason I can count these trials as joy! Though I lack the physical strength and endurance that I desire, my spiritual strength and endurance continue to grow, pressing me on to maturity. And one day when Jesus returns, I will be lacking in nothing.

How is God growing you so that one day you will be mature and complete, lacking in nothing?

Photo Credit: Ed Mitchell

Encouragement when I Needed it Most

Last week was a challenging week for me. Life with a chronic illness is always hard, but there are days when it is particularly hard to face life with courage and joy. The physical tiredness wears me down, and my soul grows weary from the fight. Loneliness is a regular battle. Last week I was fainthearted. I was hurting.

And then God used His people to reach out and encourage me. To remind me that I’m not alone. To remind me that even when I am home-bound, I make a difference in this world. I received wonderful notes and gifts in the mail last week, and all but one card came from people I have never even met in real life. God had placed me on their hearts, and they reached out to me in tangible ways that blessed and encouraged my soul. I have never received so much delightful mail in one week’s time!

A blog reader, and new friend, sent encouraging and sweet cards to me, a music CD, and even stickers for my children. Her words and gifts brought such delight. An acquaintance from year’s past sent a note to me, telling me how I have encouraged and touched her life through my blog. This card came on my hardest day, and I cried from the beauty and encouragement it contained. A dear chronic illness friend sent a meaningful card filled with words of genuine friendship. A fellow pastor’s wife and blogger sent a scarf to me, made by a valiant woman.

The amazing mail continued on Sunday afternoon. When Will and the children came home from church, they brought with them a package that had arrived at the church for me last week. Unbeknownst to me, kind and generous hearts from the Awana offices had found Cranberry Tea Time via a search for blogs that mention Awana. They saw my post about William and Adelaide and then continued to read about our family and my health struggles. They wanted to send some sunshine our way, so they sent a box of Awana goodies to us.

What a huge surprise and a blessing it was to open this box and see so many gifts, not just for me, but for my children. I know these recent months have taken a toll on William and Adelaide. They have missed me. They have worried about me. They have been sad to see me so tired. But when this package came, we forgot our troubles for a while. We were all blown away by this amazing surprise. The children exclaimed, “It’s like Christmas!” It meant so much to see the joy on my children's faces. It meant so much to be thought of during these hard days. 

Thank you, friends, for your cards, gifts, prayers, and support. Thank you for lifting me before the Father and for encouraging me when I am fainthearted. You make a difference in my life!

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Is there someone in your life who needs encouragement? Do you know someone who might be lonely, or afraid, or tired and weary? Reach out to that friend. Your encouragement may just be the thing that helps them to persevere on a very hard day.

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14

Busy Hands: Elsa's Cape

My Little Princess

This winter I saw lots of online chatter about the new Disney movie, Frozen. I wanted to go see the movie in the theater, but was too sick to go out and sit up for that long. I didn't tell anyone that I wanted to see Frozen. Instead I just enjoyed music and video clips that were available online. Then in March, much to my delight, my sister sent the Frozen DVD to me as a surprise gift! Because she's just cool like that. :) So that weekend we had a family movie night and watched Frozen. It was a big hit with all of us, and we've been singing Frozen songs ever since.

Adelaide's favorite character is Elsa. In April she asked for a cape so that she could dress up like Elsa. William's Darth Vader cape served as a temporary fix while Adelaide waited patiently for a few weeks for me to create an Elsa cape. 

I used an old curtain and threaded some blue ribbon through the hem. Next, I tied it around Adelaide's shoulders and trimmed the cape to the proper length. Then I hand-sewed a hem one afternoon while Adelaide and I watched Frozen together. 

It's not exactly like Elsa's cape, but it is much closer than the black Darth Vader cape! It is pretty, and girly, and Adelaide is perfectly content with it.

For your entertainment, here is a video of Adelaide dressed up as Elsa and singing Let It Go. (If you are viewing this post in an email, you will need to click over to my blog to view the video.)

Kissing the Wave

"I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages." Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Two months ago I shared a little about the challenges I faced with my health this winter. We made some changes to our schedule so that I could spend a week resting, hoping to avoid a crash like I had in the fall of 2010. While we did manage to avoid a bad crash, we did not avoid a crash altogether. And I’m not sure if it is even possible to avoid a crash.

There is so much that is unknown about my dysautonomia. For 15 years now my health has gotten progressively worse, despite treatment. Treatment does help, but only to a certain extent, and nothing has stopped the progression so far. Right now we are tweaking medications, and adjusting my activity level, with the goal of giving me the best possible quality of life we can at this point.

My energy levels have plummeted in the last two months. I tire out much more quickly than I used to. At my best, I feel like I did a few months ago, but my energy doesn’t last nearly as long. I quickly go from feeling like my “normal” self to feeling completely exhausted. My energy levels are like an old battery that discharges way too quickly. The battery is full, but then suddenly it is empty, and there is nothing left.

In time I will adjust to this new level of limitations and get used to it, but for right now it is really hard. It hurts. And it doesn’t just hurt me; it hurts my whole family. It hurts Will to see me suffering and losing strength. It hurts my children. I can see the sadness in William’s eyes when he comes in to tell me goodnight after I’ve had a bad day. I see Adelaide hurting and missing her mommy. Sometimes she cries and can’t even go to sleep unless I am lying down right next to her, holding her hand. She says she is worried about me and she misses me.

Life is hard, but we were never promised an easy or pain-free life. “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13). 

Today, in the midst of grief, I count my blessings and I thank the Lord for Jesus Christ, who gives me reason to have hope. I am also learning to thank the Lord for the trials of life because He uses them for my good. Physical suffering drives me to Jesus. Dysautonomia is the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.

Photo Credit: Grant Rambojun

Five Minute Friday: Grateful

It is time for Five Minute Friday! Last night I saw on twitter that Lisa-Jo had announced the Five Minute Friday word prompt: grateful. "That will be an easy one," I thought to myself. "I have had a very difficult week, but I can choose to focus on what I have to be grateful for, and I can share about that."

I had a simple post in mind, one that could easily be typed up in only five minutes. It was a post that would briefly share the physical struggles I have had this week and then focus on a list of all of the many wonderful blessings for which I am grateful. But it didn't sit right with me. Something was missing. The post I had in mind I was mostly choosing to ignore the hard things and just focusing on the happy and cheerful things of life. It is good to be grateful for those things, but gratitude should go farther than just focusing on happy things.

I have been mulling things over last night and this morning. I've never put so much thought into a Five Minute Friday post! I have been thinking about gratitude, suffering, and Ephesians 5:20 in which we are commanded to give thanks for everything. Everything. Even the weakness, loneliness, and bad days. After much thought and prayer, here is my Five Minute Friday post. (Disclaimer: I forgot to look at the clock when I wrote my five minute post. I probably went well over my allotted time.)

This has been a difficult week for me. On Monday I felt pretty well in comparison to the last few months, but after a meeting that afternoon and supper with my family, my body was done. I was tired, weak, and exhausted. It is now Friday, and I still haven't recovered from Monday.

My health has been steadily declining since September. In December my health started declining more quickly. My body is weak and tired, and I have to spend most of my time in bed. When I do choose to push myself to have friends over or spend extra time with my family, I pay for it for a week or more. These are hard and challenging days for me.

As I think about gratitude in the midst of my current circumstances, my mind keeps going back to Ephesians 5:20. I look it up in my Bible, and it says, "giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

For everything? I am to give thanks for declining health and diminishing energy?

Yes, I believe I am. As a Christian, I am to give thanks for all things. Even suffering is a gift from God.

I turn to Philippians 1:29, and it reads, "For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake." In this  verse, "granted" (echaristhe) means to give freely and graciously. God in His sovereignty bestows suffering. Suffering is a gift.

On these weak and tired days suffering feels like anything but a gift. How can this be a gift? And how can I give thanks for it? It helps to remember Romans 8:28,  "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

And there it is. God is working all things for my good. Even dysautonomia. Even declining health. Even the loss of energy. These things are, as Joni Eareckson Tada says, "a severe mercy." Because God is ultimately using all of these things for my good, I can thank Him for them. I must thank Him for them.

I think of 2 Corinthians 4:17, my favorite verse: "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." Wow. What a reason to be grateful for affliction! The suffering that I endure faithfully now will result in great reward in Heaven, a reward that is completely out of proportion to any hardship I endure.

Thank you, Lord, for this severe mercy. May I never forget to be grateful to you for your many blessings, whether they be pleasant or painful.

Awana

Throughout the school year it has been my privilege to help William and Adelaide memorize Bible verses for Awana. I was not able to go to church with them in the evenings this year due to migraines and fatigue. However, in April I pushed myself extra hard so that I could be there for Awana Parent's Night. It was rough, but I made it through even with a migraine! I laid down on the chairs, and when necessary I wore ear plugs and/or covered my eyes. It was totally worth it to see my children's smiling faces when they received their awards.

Adelaide completed a Cubbies book this year, and she was so excited to receive the green award ribbon for her vest!

William finished books two and three for Sparks! He worked so hard!

I love these two Awana kids!

Here is a video of Adelaide saying three of her Bible verses. If you are reading this post in an email, you may need to click over to the blog to see the video. Adelaide recites (or sings!) three of her verses:

"Great is our Lord and mighty in power." Psalm 147:5

"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"God loved us and sent His Son." 1 John 4:10

Five Minute Friday: Mess

It's time for Five Minute Friday! We write for just five minutes without over-thinking and editing, without making sure that everything is perfect. It's quick and easy blogging, just what this girl needs! This week the word is "mess."

Have I ever shown you my bedside area? It's a mess! It's always a mess. Because I have to spend most of my time in bed, all of my books, medicines, to-do items, current crafts, Bible study materials, etc. have to be within arm's reach. I fit what I can into my nightstand and bedside basket, but everything else spills onto the surrounding floor area. It annoys me, but I've learned to live with it.

From what I hear from my chronic illness friends, this is a very typical nightstand and bedside area! You never know what you might need quickly, so things like meds, a pulse-ox, blood pressure cuff, extra blanket, heating pad, emergency snacks, phone charger, etc. typically stay within arms reach. Life with a chronic illness is just messy!

My bed is usually messy too. During the day Will's side of the bed gets taken over with my books, snacks, mail, Bible study materials, and other things. And while we're talking about messes, my hair is typically messy too as I am resting in bed. I'm just a mess!

I am so thankful that I can serve God, even in the midst of this mess. I don't have to clean up and be perfect. I don't have to have all of the "to-do" list done. I can say "yes" to serving the Lord right from here, right in the midst of the mess! I can serve the Lord through writing, through praying, and through talking to and encouraging my family, all right here in the middle of my my messy life. Like Kristen Welch, I can say yes in my mess!

P.S. If you don't have Kristen's brand new book, Rhinestone Jesus, there's a giveaway here on my blog this week!