We Moved to Tennessee!

This has been quite a year for our family! In the spring Will accepted a position as an Assistant Attorney General in the state of Tennessee. We moved to the Nashville area in July, and this fall we have been settling into our new life here. 

Will really likes his new job in the Tennessee Attorney General's office. Adelaide and Stafford are enjoying their new school, and both are thriving. Adelaide is in 8th grade now, and Stafford is in Kindergarten, Gresham is my little buddy at home every day, and we spend our days playing and eating and napping.

The biggest change for us is that William stayed behind in Minnesota. We didn't want to make him move to a new state and a new school right before his senior year, so we gave him the choice to either move with us or stay in Minnesota. He chose to stay and finish up his senior year of high school with the friends he has had since Kindergarten. We didn't expect to launch our oldest so soon, but it has proven to be the best thing for him in this situation. William is thriving and doing well.

Life is very different for us this year. Will's work routine is different. The school routine is different for our children. William doesn't live with us anymore. Gresham and I have very different days at home here than we did at home in Minnesota. We are looking for local friends, and we are getting to know a new church. Our rhythms and routines have been upended, and it has been an adjustment. So much has changed.

But in the midst of the many changes, God has not changed. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

The Advent season began on December 3, and along with that came our family Advent routine and celebration. On Sunday evenings we sit down in the living room with the Christmas tree and Christmas candles lit. We then light the appropriate number of candles on the Advent wreath. We read Scripture and pray. We eat German Christmas cookies. This is one of the few rhythms in our life that has not changed this year. Celebrating Advent is one of my favorite things each December, and this year it has been an especially welcome celebration. Not only is it a familiar routine, but it is a reminder to me of the faithfulness of God.

Long ago God promised to send a Savior, and He kept His promise. Jesus came into our world that is filled with sin and suffering. He suffered and died for us, taking the punishment that we deserve. He conquered death and rose again, and He promised that He would one day return. God keeps every promise He makes, and He will keep His promise to return. When everything around us changes, God remains faithful and unchanging. 

In the midst of our very different rhythms and routines in Tennessee, the God we love and serve remains the same. He is still faithful and true, just as He always has been, and just as He always will be. I am thankful to serve an unchanging God, and I am excited to see what He has in store for our family in Tennessee!

A Day in the Life

It has been too long since I last wrote a Day in the Life post! They have become a reader favorite, and I haven't written one since 2018. My days look a lot different now than they did five years ago, so I decided I needed to write an updated Day in the Life. I took detailed notes and a few pictures throughout a day in February to show you what an average school day looks like for me right now. I do my best to take care of the little boys while the kids are at school and Will is at work. 

My weekends look much different than what you see here. On the weekends I sleep in late and stay in bed for the majority of the day. It is my time to get caught up on rest so that I can take care of the little boys again come Monday.

A Day in the Life
Wednesday, February 1, 2023

6:00 am - I wake up too early because my legs are cold. I pull out my heating pad and put it on my legs to warm up. I am unable to fall back to sleep quickly, so I spend time praying.

6:30 - Will gets up for the day. The big kids get up, too, and get ready for school. I still haven't fallen back to sleep, so I pull out my phone, and I listen to two chapters in the book of Joshua. Then I switch to the book of 1 John. I fall asleep somewhere in the epistles. I wake up and find that I am in Revelation chapter 10. I turn it off and quickly fall back to sleep.

8:00 - I hear some quiet noises over the baby monitor, and they wake me up. I can tell that Stafford is getting up and going out to the kitchen. Will takes care of him in the morning so that I can sleep in a little longer.

8:15 - I hear some noise from Gresham over the baby monitor. He doesn't usually wake up this early. I am so tired, and my body is not ready to get up yet. I pray for help. I tell God that I am tired and that I feel like I can't do this. I ask for strength. Gresham is silent again, and I think he went back to sleep. I go back to sleep too.

9:00 - Gresham is definitely awake now, so it is time for me to wake up and start moving. It is easier to wake up this time. I am thankful for the extra bit of sleep. God answered my prayer for help and strength! I take my midodrine. It is a medication that helps to prevent blood pooling, and I need to take it and wait for it to take effect before I get out of bed. While waiting for my midodrine to start working I eat my first part of breakfast, a small bunch of grapes waiting in a container by my bed. While I eat breakfast I practice a German lesson on Duolingo.

9:25 - I finally feel well enough to get up. I make the bed, and I get my clothes for the day. I check the temperature on my phone. Today it is chilly. It is 11 degrees below zero outside, so I grab sweatpants and a thermal shirt. 

9:30 - I cross the hall to Gresham's room, and I see his happy, smiling face greeting me. He has been playing contentedly in his bed while waiting for me to come get him. I get Gresham up, change his diaper, and we both get dressed for the day.

9:45 - Gresham asks for music, so I find JJ Heller. I like her soft and soothing music, but Gresham asks for Bruno instead, so we listen to We Don't Talk about Bruno. It is his current favorite song.

9:50 - The windows in the living room and office have moisture on them because it is so cold outside today, so I take a few minutes to wipe the windows off.

10:00 - It is time to make breakfast for Gresham and myself. I need to keep the meal preparation very quick and easy, so I make instant oatmeal for both of us. I pour some milk for Gresham, and I prepare a cup of tea for myself.

10:10 - Breakfast is ready. I put Gresham in his booster seat on the living room floor. I sit on floor in front of him. Sitting on the floor is easier for me than sitting at the kitchen table, so Gresham and I almost always have breakfast on a blanket on the floor. I pray before we eat. I thank God for the food, and I ask Him for strength to take care of the little boys. Then Gresham and I eat together.

10:15 - Will texts me to ask if Stafford can come up. Will is working in his office in the basement, and Stafford has been downstairs with him. But Stafford wants to be upstairs with his brother now.

10:20 - Stafford comes upstairs and asks to listen to Yurgen's Tune. It is a song he has been working on learning.

10:25 - Stafford is hungry, so I make some oatmeal for him too.

10:40 - We have all finished eating. I get breakfast dishes picked up while the boys play.

10:45 - Stafford goes to play music in his bedroom. Gresham and I read books. Gresham is currently enrolled in a program called 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten, so we have been counting the books we read to him. He is close to 700 books now. 

10:50 - Stafford comes out with his ukulele. He reads some books with us.

11:05 - Gresham plays with the ukulele and Stafford reads and sings. I get a snack for Stafford because he needs some more food before going to preschool.

11:10 - I get a text from a friend. I pray for her while getting clothes out for Stafford. Then I help Stafford get dressed for school.

11:25 - Gresham and Stafford start tumbling on the floor and playing with the sofa cushions. I let them jump and play while I pick up the books and put them back in the book basket.

11:40 - Will comes upstairs from work. We get Stafford bundled up, and Will takes him to preschool. Gresham climbs on sofa cushions, blankets, and pillows on the floor. I lie down to rest on the portion of the sofa that still has cushions.

11:50 - Gresham comes over to snuggle and talk. 

12:00 - Will comes home. He puts away dishes and makes lunch. Kitchen noise is painful for my ears, so I hide out from the noise in the bedroom. While I am in the bedroom I put away laundry and pray for friends who are going through hard things today.

12:20 - Will comes back to let me know it is safe to go back out to the living room.

12:25 - I get the living room picked up and get the blanket spread out for lunch. We we sit down to eat.

12:45 - We finish eating, and I get Gresham wiped up. Will cleans up the dishes and the kitchen. I lie down on the sofa to rest, and Gresham plays in the Spiderman helmet. The toddler vibes are strong with this one!

12:55 - I trim Gresham's nails while Will gathers his things and gets ready to go to the office for the afternoon. We say goodbye to Will before he heads out the door.

1:05 - Gresham and I get ready for naptime. We brush our teeth. Then we go to his bedroom and read two books. I pray, I sing Jesus Loves Me, and I turn on the lullaby CD. Then I say nighty-night. Gresham is great about going down for a nap. He will talk to himself, or rest quietly in his bed, until he falls asleep.

1:25 - I crawl into my own bed. I take my lunch time vitamins and some ibuprofen for a headache. I'm not up for much reading. I read a few pages in a little book by Randy Alcorn called Seeing the Unseen, and then I go to sleep.

2:15 - I wake up. I didn't have a very long nap, but I am grateful for the sleep. I continue resting in bed while Gresham sleeps. 

3:15 - I get up out of bed. Will brings Stafford home from preschool, and then he goes back to work. Stafford shows me what is in his backpack. He came home with Mr. Bear! We get to have Mr. Bear hang out with us for the rest of the week, and we will write about his adventures in his journal.

3:25 - We snuggle on the sofa for rest time. Stafford watches Wild Kratts, and I read my Bible.

3:30 - William and Adelaide come home from school. We talk for a couple of minutes, and then they go do their homework, and I go back to reading my Bible.

3:45 - I hear Gresham start to stir. I let him wake up and jabber in his bed for a few minutes.

3:55 - Stafford has finished resting. He gets up to play.

4:05 - I get Gresham up from his nap, and I get a snack for the boys.

4:15 - I realize that I never took midodrine after my nap. I take it right away when I remember.

4:25 - The boys have finished their snack. I wipe hands and faces and pick up the dishes.

4:30 - I check the mail. Gresham got a new book from the Imagination Library. He is excited about a new book! We sit down to read together.

4:50 - We finish reading. The boys play, and I rest on the sofa. My legs are tired from the day.

5:00 - Gresham wants to read again. We have read more than 30 books today!

5:05 - Stafford and Mr. Bear draw while Gresham and I read.

5:20 - Gresham is ready to run around and play again. I help Stafford with his drawing.

5:35 - Will comes home. We talk for a few minutes about our days and what we need to do this evening.

5:50 - Will takes care of the little boys and makes supper. I get a shower and go to bed. William and Adelaide leave for play practice at school.

6:20 - I lie down in bed. My legs are tired and uncomfortable from the day's work. I am grateful for rest. And I am thankful for the strength to take care of my Littles for another day. I lie in bed trying to decide what to do. I'm too tired to move or read, so I decide to watch a TV show.

6:40 - I realize that I am too tired for a TV show, so I listen to a podcast instead.

7:05 - Will brings supper to me. He cooked chicken, potatoes, and broccoli for supper tonight. I eat while lying down in bed.

7:25 - I finish eating. And I rest. I don't read or watch TV. I just lie still.

7:50 - I fall asleep.

8:00 - A reminder rings on my phone. I turn my sound off and immediately fall back asleep.

8:10 - I wake up. I text Will and a friend.

8:20 - I practice German on Duolingo.

8:45 - My eyes are tired, so I put down my phone.

8:50 - Will comes in to chat for a few minutes. Adelaide is home from play practice, and she is watching the boys. Will doesn't stay and talk for long because I am so tired.

9:15 - It is a later night than usual. Will has been working in the kitchen prepping meals for the next two days, but now he is ready to get the boys put to bed. Will gets Stafford ready, and Adelaide helps me get Gresham ready for bed. William works on cleaning dishes in the kitchen.

9:30 - Will and I take the little boys into their bedroom. Each boy picks out a book to read, and I read them both. I have lost count of books today, but I think this makes nearly 50 books that I have read to Stafford and/or Gresham! After reading, we tuck the boys into their beds. Will prays. Then he plays his guitar, and we sing Jesus Loves Me and give hugs and kisses good night.

9:50 - I come back to bed. Will and I talk for a few minutes, and then Will goes to tackle more things on his to do list for the night.

9:55 - Adelaide comes in to say good night.

10:00 - I turn on my laptop and work on some email.

10:03 - Stafford comes to tell me he can't find his soft, fuzzy blanket. I get up to help him find it. It is lying on the pillow in his bed. I tuck him back in and tell the boys good night again.

10:05 - I crawl back into bed to work on email again.

11:15 - I finish working on email. Will is ready for bed. We go through our night time routine together. Will helps me get my breakfast for the next morning, and he fills my water bottle. I get my night time ice pack. I will use the ice on my head for my headache, and then I will keep it in bed throughout the night in case my feet start burning and I need to put an ice pack on them. 

We brush our teeth together. We watch a TV show in bed, and then we pray together before saying goodnight and going to sleep. We are grateful for time together at the end of a busy day. It is a late night, but we accomplished the tasks before us. We are thankful to the Lord for this hard and happy life, and we are thankful for the strength to make it through another day.

Celebrating and Anticipating a Forever Party

 

This summer my family had a little party at home to celebrate the forever party yet to come! 

Joni Eareckson Tada has a new book called The Awesome Super Fantastic Forever Party. It is a wonderful, delightful book that tells about Heaven and the amazing invitation that Jesus offers.

I won a party box from The Good Book Company that included a free copy of the book, plus all the supplies needed for a little party. They included hats and horns and balloons, much to my children's delight! This new book and fun prize package made it easy to have a simple party at the end of the day.

I read The Awesome Super Fantastic Forever Party to my littles. Gresham lost interest fairly quickly, but the book held the attention of both Stafford and Adelaide.

The party box included games to play, decorations to make, and even an invitation that we could decorate. If you want to have a party too, you can find the printable party supplies for free here! Just scroll down to the bottom for links to the printable pages.

My family has often talked about Heaven over the years. We look forward to the day when there will be no more sickness or suffering or pain. This book gave us another opportunity to talk about Heaven and the life yet to come. If you have young children, The Awesome Super Fantastic Forever Party is a good way to help explain to them what Heaven will one day be like. This book will also help to open up deeper conversations about Jesus and salvation.

The Good Book Company has a video of Joni reading this new book! If you have little ones, maybe they will enjoy sitting with you and listening to the story!

Welcome, Baby Gresham!

Welcome Baby Gresham!

Our newest family member is here in our arms, and we are very happy! Gresham was 9 pounds, 5 ounces when he was born, and he was my next-to-smallest baby! I have been enjoying snuggling my little one.

We have had a busy couple of months in the Lundy home. We have been finishing up school, dealing with health challenges, and caring for a baby. Life is hard and wonderful all at once.

William and Adelaide have been a tremendous help to me in caring for Stafford and Gresham every day. I could not do this without them! All of our kids were home for school this year. William did a virtual academy, and Adelaide was home schooled. William and Adelaide took turns doing school work and caring for Stafford in the mornings. And then after Gresham was born, they also helped me care for him!

It has been quite a blessing to have their full-time help at home. If Gresham wakes up and wants to play, but I need to get more sleep, then I just call William. He comes to take the baby, and I go back to sleep. It has been an incredible gift! I am more rested during this postpartum time than I ever have been before. So while I am still tired, and I am kept busy with caring for four children, I am feeling better than I ever have at this point after pregnancy.

It has been hard for me to blog while caring for a baby, and I expect that my blog posts will probably continue to be sporadic over the next year or two as I care for a baby and then a toddler. But I still plan to keep this blog going, and I still plan to write and serve others online as the Lord provides the strength and opportunity.

Our kids are out of school for the summer, and we are looking forward to summer fun, time with cousins, time at camp, visits from family and friends, and hopefully some rest in there too! 

I hope you all have a wonderful summer! What are your plans?

A Little Blessing

I am not usually a fan of surprises. But I have come to realize there is at least one kind of surprise that I am always excited about... a new baby!

In our family we love babies and toddlers. The unexpected blessing of Stafford has been wonderful. It has been hard, but also truly wonderful. We cannot imagine our family without this delightful child. 

William and Adelaide have been asking for another baby for well over a year now. Even with all of the work they have to do to help me take care of Stafford every day, they wanted another baby to take care of too! I told them that they needed to ask God for a baby. Well... they did! This summer God answered their prayers. We have another little one on the way! 

We are having a baby boy! We will be welcoming Gresham into our family sometime in March!

We are all very excited to have a baby again. It will be hard, but we are looking forward to having another little one in our home. William and Adelaide are ready to help me out every day with baby care. Stafford is excited to have a little brother. He talks about Gresham every day, and when he prays he thanks God for Gresham. We all thank the Lord for this precious gift!

Life with Three

Hello friends! I miss chatting with you regularly in this space. My time and energy is completely maxed out on most days, which leaves little strength or mental clarity for writing a blog post at the end of the day. I am still trying to figure out how to blog in this new season of life with three children. I need to remember to come here occasionally just to write a simple post or share a few pictures from daily life. I can probably manage that better than writing a “real” blog post. So today, here are a few pictures and thoughts on life with three!

Life was hard before we had Stafford. And adding another small member to the family has brought many more challenges. But it has also brought so much joy and laughter. We love having a little one in our family! I know we were happy before Stafford came along, but the happiness has been multiplied now by the simple addition of one family member.

Life with a baby, and now a toddler, has been a good and wonderful transition. It is hard, but it is totally worth it! I am so thankful that the Lord blessed us with this little one.

Someday I will be able to blog more often again. Meanwhile, I’m soaking up the time with my children, falling in bed tired at the end of the day, and thanking the Lord for the blessing of this good life.

One Year with a Baby

We have made it through the first year with Stafford! It has been hard - full of challenges and tears and tired days. But it has also been full of joy and blessings. Our cup overflows.

Here is a little peek into our past year...

Baby snuggles are the best.

My Three Children

Sleepy Baby, Tired Mama

Six Weeks Old

Bow Tie Tuesday!

Stafford has been the snuggliest of my three babies. He wanted to be held almost constantly for the first few months of his life.

Stafford napped in William's arms quite a lot last summer!

Dressing up!

Hermione, Legolas, and Yoda.

Best gift of 2018!

Stafford loves to play guitar with his daddy.

10 Months Old

Happy First Birthday, Stafford!

We love having a toddler in our family again! Stafford brings much happiness and laughter to our home. It has been a hard year, but we are thankful for the gift Stafford is to all of us. We are also very thankful for the help we have received from family and friends over the past year, because we could not have done this on our own!

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I am hoping to be able to blog again this year. My body is tired, and my muscles are weak, so my posts may be very short or infrequent, but I'm going to give it a try! Let me know if there is something in particular you would like me to write about in the coming months.

How are you doing? What have you been up to this past year?

Introducing Stafford

I am happy to announce that our little Stafford is here! He is a sweet and content baby, and he loves to be snuggled and held. We thank the Lord for this precious gift.

Stafford was 8 pounds, 10 ounces when he was born. He was my smallest baby! It has been fun to have a "tiny" baby for the first time.

We are thrilled to have Stafford in our arms now! We are exhausted too. Life is hard, but we are doing pretty well, and we are adjusting to life with a newborn.

William and Adelaide are great as big brother and big sister. They are a help to us, and they love to hold their baby brother. Stafford loves to spend time with them too.

Will continues on with law school, work, and taking care of his family. He is sleep deprived, but somehow he manages to keep things running here at home. Thankfully the end of the semester is coming up soon, and the break from school will enable Will to get more sleep. We are really looking forward to summer when he won't have homework to do every night.

My recovery is going as well as can be expected. I am very tired, and I don't think that will go away anytime soon. My doctor's orders are to do nothing but rest, recover, and take care of my baby. So for now I am mostly just eating, sleeping, and feeding Stafford. It's an exhausting, wonderful, hard, and happy life.

I had a C-section with Stafford, so I was in a lot of pain for the first two weeks. I still have pain, and will for quite some time, but it isn't too bad anymore. The nice thing about having a C-section is that my body doesn't get exhausted from labor and delivery. This allows me more time to hold my baby and enjoy him in the newborn stage. I get to wear myself out taking care of a baby instead of wearing myself out going through labor.

So far I have not had a bad crash, and I am thankful for that. I know it will become much harder for me to take care of Stafford once he is mobile and no longer sleeping all day. There are probably still some very hard days ahead. I'm trying not to think about that for now. I'm trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy these moments as best I can.

I love holding Stafford and taking care of him. I am thankful that I have been able to do quite a bit of the baby care so far. I can feel my arms and legs becoming weaker from all of the exertion, but it is worth it. And whatever crash may come -- this baby is worth it.

God has been so good to us. He has blessed us with another child, and He has provided the extra help we need. My parents were here to help out when Stafford was born, and they will be coming again this spring to help out for a while. Our church and friends have provided help as well. As my needs increase there are some who are willing to step in and help out more.

And you, dear readers, have been an encouragement to me. Thank you for your prayers and support during this time of welcoming a new baby into our family.

I won’t be able to blog again for a long time, but I do hope to share short updates on Instagram and Facebook. You are welcome to check in with me there. You are also still welcome to email me. I do appreciate every email, but I likely won't be able to reply, and I thank you for understanding.

I don't know when I will start blogging again, or if I will be able to write regularly once I do start writing again. If you would like, you may subscribe here so that you receive an email whenever I publish a new post.

I am thankful for you, dear reader and friend. Thank you for being here at Cranberry Tea Time. Thank you for sharing in the joy of the birth of Stafford!

Busy Hands: A Special Blanket for Stafford

This is a very special blanket for Stafford. It may be my favorite crochet project ever! I did not make it by myself. I had some help from my Oma.

Oma is my grandmother. She had a lot of yarn leftover from her many projects over the years. Oma passed away several years ago, and after she died I was given her yarn. In the box of yarn there were twelve blue crochet blocks. I didn't know what to do with them, but I couldn't bear to throw them away because of the hours of work that went into them. So I just kept them in the box.

After I found out that Stafford was on the way, I knew just what to do with the blue crochet blocks! I would make some white blocks of my own, and then I would piece them all together in a patchwork crochet blanket.

I found some white yarn, and I crocheted thirteen blocks that are roughly the same size as Oma's twelve blue blocks. Then I crocheted a border using a blue and white yarn. I followed the instructions from Cheryl for a flat braid join.

This is the first time I have done a blanket like this. Piecing crochet blocks together was completely new for me. I searched Pinterest for ideas of ways to join the pieces, and the flat braid join was the prettiest idea I could find. It looked difficult, but Cheryl had such clear instructions that she made it easy!

I love how it turned out! It makes me so happy to have a special blanket for Stafford that was partially made by his great-grandmother. The blanket is about 38 inches by 38 inches. It's the perfect size for a baby. 

For the boarder I did a row of single crochet, a row of double crochet, and then a row of single crochet. I only had one skein of the blue and white yarn to use for the braid join and the blanket border. I wasn't sure if I would have quite enough yarn, but I did! There were only two yards of yarn leftover.

A close up of one of my Oma's lovely blue crochet blocks.

The special blanket is in our living room waiting for Stafford's arrival.

Have you been working on any projects lately? Craft projects or any kind of project? I'd love to hear what you are doing to keep busy.

Teatime Conversations: Coping as a Less-than-Energetic Mom

Reader Question: What sorts of things help you to cope with your identity as a less-than-energetic mum?

It helps me to remember that this is the life God has called me to. He has made me a mother. He has chosen William, Adelaide, and Stafford to be my children. And He has chosen for me to live with dysautonomia. God is in control, and He is sovereign over all things, even illnesses and disabilities. I fully believe that God could heal me if He chose to do so, but He has chosen not to bring healing to my body. Instead He has called me to glorify Him as a disabled wife and mother. I trust that He has a plan and a purpose in this, even though it doesn’t seem best to me. It brings me comfort to know that God is using this for my good and for the good of my family (Romans 8:28).

I am certainly a less-than-energetic mom, but I am not only that. I am a less-than-energetic mom who is in Christ. I am a child of God (John 1:12), and I have an inheritance with Christ (Romans 8:16-18). There is reward coming! My faithfulness today as a less-than-energetic mom will be rewarded in Heaven in the future. Knowing this helps me to persevere.

Ultimately my life as a disabled mom is to be lived for the Lord. As I set my mind on things above, I remember that my “life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:1-3). My life is secure in Him, and my life has purpose and meaning no matter how sick I become.

I don’t do these things well every day. I don’t always live like my life is hidden with Christ. I don’t always seek the things that are above. I’m not always faithful to glorify God as a less-than-energetic mom. Sometimes I become overwhelmed by the difficulties in life, and I need to be reminded of the hope I have in Christ and the ultimate purpose of my life. I need to be reminded to embrace the life God has called me to live.

These are some verses that have helped me to persevere as a chronically ill mom. I hope they encourage you too.

• John 1:12
• Galatians 2:20
• Colossians 3:1-4 
• 1 Peter 2:9-10
• Ephesians 1:1-2:22
• 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
• Romans 8:14-18
• Romans 8:35-39

In addition to keeping in mind the “big picture” purpose of my life, there are a few practical things I am intentional in doing as a mom in order to maximize my interaction with my children. These are some practical ways that I embrace my role as a disabled mother.

• Leave little notes for my children on special days or just because. Occasionally before I go to sleep at night I put notes on the floor outside of my children's bedroom doors so that they will see them when they get up in the morning. Sometimes it is “just because” and contains only a silly joke. Other times it might be a note wishing them a good day on a field trip.

• Decorate my children’s doors the night before their birthdays. I sleep in until about 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning on most days, which means that I don’t always get to see my kids on the morning of their birthdays. They are usually at school before I wake up, so on the night before their birthday, I decorate their bedroom doors with something fun like streamers or balloons. One year I forgot to buy anything fun, so William woke up to a doorway covered in toilet paper!

• Whenever possible I allow my children to come in to talk to me when I am resting in bed. I can only be out of bed for about 4 or 5 hours on an average day. Much of my awake time has to be spent resting in a quiet bedroom. But even when I am resting, if I am awake, I like to be as available as possible for my children. They know that they can come in and see me anytime I am not sleeping. They might come in to tell me a funny story, ask me a question, show me a Lego project they are building, or just talk. Sometimes we talk for 15 minutes or more; sometimes I can only talk for 30 seconds. But by being willing to talk as long as possible, William and Adelaide have learned to trust that I like being with them and talking with them, and that makes it easier on them when I have to say that I need to be alone and rest.

• Have my children come tell me good night. I usually have to go to bed by 6:00, so my kids stay up later than I do. Will does the night time routine and puts the kids to bed, but before they go to bed, they come in to see me and give me good night hugs and kisses. This gives me one more chance to see my children during the day and tell them that I love them.

• Do chores with my kids. I like to work alongside my children when I am able. Instead of assigning them chores to go off and do alone, we work together. Now that William and Adelaide are 12 and 8, I am able to do some chores at home that I could not do previously, simply because now I have their help! They can do my “walking around stuff” as I call it, and they can move boxes or bring things to me as I give directions. Their effort enables me to get more things done, and we have fun working together.

• Watch movies together on the “bad days.” When I don’t have energy for anything more than watching a movie, but I need to spend time with my kids, then we have a movie day. We might make some popcorn or grab some fun snacks too. But mostly we hang out on the sofa and just watch movies. 

• Find creative ways to do tasks. This means that I do a lot of things while sitting or lying down. We play board games while I lie down on the floor. Sometimes I brush Adelaide’s hair while I am lying in bed. I often help with homework while lying down on the sofa. One time my children and I made Christmas treats while sitting on the floor.

• Let my children help me. This takes humility. It’s not always easy to ask our children for help, but most of the time I find that William and Adelaide are glad to help me. They especially like it when I need help taking my compression socks off. It gives them quite a workout to tug those tight socks off when they are young, and they like the challenge!

One final thing I will mention that helps me is grieving occasionally. If you are a chronically ill mom, there are real losses you have faced, and it is good and appropriate to grieve them. Being sad at times about all that you cannot do as a mom is completely understandable. I like what John Piper says: “Occasionally, weep deeply over the life that you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Feel the pain. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life that he’s given you.”

Photo by Bruno Nascimento

If you are a chronically ill mom, my encouragement to you today is to love your children well in the ways in which you are able. Focus on doing what you can. Be creative in finding ways to be with your children, or to communicate with your children, when illness limits your energy. Grieve the losses, but do not despair. Embrace the life God has given you and the motherhood He has called you to.

The God who sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you can be trusted with what you are going through. When He takes away your energy, you can be certain that He will bring good from it. God has a plan and a purpose in your illness, and if you know Him, then He can, and will, use it for your ultimate good. If your children know Jesus, then He will use it for their ultimate good too. You are an heir with Christ, and you will be rewarded in Heaven for your faithfulness as a less-than-energetic mom.


We would love to hear from you! If you have a chronic illness, what has helped you to cope with your identity as a less-than-energetic mother? How would you encourage a chronically ill mom?

A Day in the Life

Many of you have told me that my "day in the life" blog posts are your favorite. It has been nearly four years since I wrote a day in the life post, so I decided it was time to do a new one. What follows isn't a "bad day" or a "good day." On a bad day I would primarily be confined to bed. On a good day you would be surprised at how much I can do. But on an average day, this is what life is like right now. 

Life is about to change a lot in March when we welcome our new baby. I am hoping I can write another "day in the life" post sometime in the year after Stafford is here. Daily life will be quite different for me then!

A Day in the Life

Monday, December 11, 2017

6:30 am - Will is getting the children up and ready for school. I am very sleepy, but wide awake. I am also hungry, so I eat the fruit that is sitting next to my bed for breakfast.

7:00 - I am not able to fall back asleep, so I read for a while.

9:40 - I feel best when I can sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning, but today sleep isn’t coming. I decide to get up and get the coffee that is waiting for me in the bathroom. Will always puts the coffee pot and my coffee cup on the bathroom counter for me before he goes to work so that I don’t have to walk all the way out to the kitchen to get it.

I go back to bed with my coffee, put my laptop on the bed, and turn it on. I check email and catch up on blog reading. I take my morning medications and vitamins, eat the rest of my breakfast, and drink my coffee. Now that I am awake enough, I also have my morning devotion and Bible reading time.

10:30 - I'm too sleepy to do anything anymore. I put my head under the pillow and pray until I fall asleep.

11:30 - I begin to wake up after sleeping for almost an hour, but then I keep falling back asleep.

12:20 pm - I open the curtain and try to convince my body to wake up. Will is going to be home for lunch anytime now, and I have things I need to do this afternoon. I need my brain and body to wake up!

12:25 - Will comes home for his lunch break. We talk for a few minutes, and then he heads out to the kitchen to make lunch. When lunch is ready, he brings it into the bedroom where I am still resting. I eat while lying down in bed, and Will sits on the bed and joins me for lunch.

1:25 - Will goes back to work. I open up my laptop and work on finishing a guest post while trying to ignore the migraine aura in the center of my vision.

1:50 - I put aside the guest post for now. I want to wait another hour and then read it again to see if it needs any final edits. The migraine aura is fading, and I am getting a headache now. I decide to take some Tylenol (since it is all I'm allowed during pregnancy) and hope this will remain a mild migraine.

I only have an hour and a half before the kids get home from school. I need to get some paperwork done while the house is still quiet. I get up and get dressed for the day. I struggle to put my compression garments on. The compression helps to prevent my blood from pooling while sitting and standing. They are very helpful for me, but putting them on is exhausting! By the time I have tugged everything on, my heart is racing, and I am breathing hard.

I take some midodrine to keep my blood pressure up while I am out of bed. I put my laptop, planner, and water bottle on Cordell, and head out to the office. On the way to the office I put my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. I turn on some music.

2:20 - I realize that I never took Tylenol, so I take it now. I make some black tea and open packages that were delivered. 

2:35 - Music is too much for me today, so I turn it off. I should have known not to turn on music while also dealing with a mild migraine. I settle in to my office recliner and desk.

I’m still struggling to finish my blog post, so instead I write an email to my editor to ask for an extension on my guest post deadline. (Later I receive a very kind reply, and my deadline is graciously extended.)

My body is so tired. I briefly wonder how all of this is going to work in 3 months with a baby. I decide I shouldn't worry about that, and I focus on today's tasks without borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

2:50 - I try on my new ACE knee brace. Pregnancy and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome don't always mix well, so my joints have been looser and more painful than is normal for me. I pull the brace on my sore knee and lie back down in my recliner to rest until the kids come home.

3:25 - William and Adelaide come home from school. We talk and get some snacks. Then we get ready for friends to come over and visit.

3:40 - I look at my planner and realize that I didn't make the phone call I needed to make. I push it off until tomorrow. I have yet to cross anything off of my To Do list for the day, a fact I find a little discouraging.

3:45 - I look at Adelaide's take home folder, and I help her with some homework. The only homework she has today is reading, and I am thankful for that. My brain is not up for math today, even 2nd grade math.

3:55 - Friends come over. I lie down on the sofa and visit with my friend while our daughters go off to play.

5:00 - We say goodbye to our friends. Adelaide and I finish up the reading homework.

5:15 - Will comes home. We share a hug, and we talk about our days. I tell him that I didn’t accomplish anything on my To Do list today. He reminds me that I had a friend over to visit, and that is accomplishing something. I’m so thankful for his encouragement, kindness, and understanding.

I get some fruit for my breakfast tomorrow morning, and I put it by my bed. I help Adelaide set out clothes for school tomorrow. Then I shower and get ready for bed.

6:20 - I turn on my white noise machine to drown out the conversation and other noises in the house, and I lie down in bed. I call Will to let him know I am in bed and ready for supper.

6:30 - Will brings supper to me. I eat, take my supper vitamins and supplements, rest, and watch a television show.

6:40 - I pause the show to grab my crocheting bag. I have to get out of bed to reach it. As I stand I notice that my legs are especially weak and worn out, but I'm able to get my bag and get safely back into bed. I'm hoping for enough strength in my arms to do some work on a baby blanket for Stafford.

7:20 - I take a break from crochet and the tv show. I post a couple of pictures on Instagram. William comes in to tell me good night, and we talk.

7:35 - William leaves, and Adelaide comes in to talk for a bit.

7:40 - I go back to my show and crocheting.

7:50 - I pause my show again as Adelaide comes back in to say good night. Then I text a friend and Vox two other friends.

Will puts the children to bed. Then he does law school homework.

8:15 - I go to the kitchen for a few minutes to make some rooibus tea and get a snack. Hopefully this will keep me from waking up hungry at 6:30 tomorrow morning like I did today!

I text and Vox some more with friends. Technology is so helpful! I am grateful for a phone and the ability to keep in touch with friends from far away.

8:45 - I go back to crocheting and watching tv. I stop crocheting every few minutes to rest my arms.

10:00 - I check my email, read a couple of blog posts, do some Amazon shopping, and then shut down my laptop.

10:15 - Will is done with law school homework for tonight. We talk a little and get ready for bed. Will fills up my water bottles and gets an ice pack for my feet for the night.

10:50 - We pray together and say good night. Will can fall asleep right away, but it takes me a while. I take my night time medications and then scroll through Facebook and Instagram on my phone for a few minutes. I pull out the book Happiness by Randy Alcorn and read for a while.

12:00 am - Happiness is too interesting, and it is keeping me awake! I put it away and pull out an audio book instead. I soon fall asleep.