Homebound Saints Need the Body of Christ

Dr. Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, recently received a thought-provoking question on his podcast, The Briefing. A listener wrote in and said, "I’m a Christian who has been bed-bound for the last four years because of ALS. What do I do now that I can’t attend church physically? I feel myself drifting apart from the Word and my hunger for it. I know that I’m doing wrong, but I can’t bring myself to read it consistently. Besides praying and asking for the Lord to return my love for His Word again, what can I do?”

I greatly appreciated Dr. Mohler’s answer. He gave kind and gentle encouragement to the man who was homebound with ALS. There was no criticism in his response. He didn’t tell the man to simply read Scripture more and pray more. Instead, he rightly explained that the local church has the responsibility to serve and help this man in his spiritual walk with the Lord. Dr. Mohler gave a charge to churches to stand up and graciously, lovingly, and boldly come alongside homebound saints.

As a person who is primarily homebound, it was equal parts shocking and wonderful to hear someone make such a bold statement! Until I listened to this podcast episode, I do not believe I had ever heard a healthy person publicly state that the church has a responsibility to minister to its homebound members. It was a relief and an encouragement to hear Dr. Mohler’s charge to the church to come alongside those who are homebound. I hope and pray that God will use Dr. Mohler’s words in his podcast to spur churches on to change in this area.

Sadly, the homebound are often a neglected part of the body of Christ. Over the past twenty years, I have privately heard stories of deep pain and neglect from fellow chronically ill and homebound believers across the world. I also have my own stories of hurt that only those closest to me know. Based on my experience, and the stories I have heard, this seems to be a widespread problem in churches. It grieves me to say that spiritual and physical needs of homebound members are often neglected.

I do not believe the neglect is intentional. I think often it is a case of “out of sight, out of mind.” A local church congregation does not see its homebound members regularly, if at all, so they do not think about them. The church is happy to speak with homebound members if they are able to make it to a service on a rare occasion, but they do not think to befriend someone who cannot typically leave home. Perhaps churches think a homebound person needs rest, so they do not want to call or ask about visiting and “bother” them. Instead, their names are added to a prayer sheet, and the care stops at prayer.

I do not write this post for myself. I write this on behalf of those who cannot speak up themselves. I write this for those who are spiritually languishing in their homes, praying, hoping, and waiting for their church to understand the need. I write this for those who have reached out to their church, asking for encouragement and help, and have received little to no response. I write this for those who need someone to reach out to them with friendship and spiritual encouragement because they are too lonely and discouraged to try again.

Believers are not meant to live the Christian life alone, but homebound saints often do. The homebound and chronically ill are there in your church and in your neighborhood. They may be in their home, in an assisted living center, or in a nursing home. They may live alone, with a spouse, with a roommate, or with their family. Wherever they are, they need you! They need practical service, and they need spiritual encouragement. Please do not assume that someone else is already visiting them and encouraging them in the Lord. That may not be the case, and the homebound saints need the body of Christ.

Being homebound is lonely and hard. If you know someone who is homebound, will you please step into their lives? Will you befriend them in their homes? Will you minister to their physical and spiritual needs? Will you encourage them when their spirits grow weak?

I know that there are many churches who do minister to their homebound brothers and sisters in Christ. And I praise the Lord for churches such as these! There are also individual Christians who reach out with care and friendship to the homebound, and these friends are a treasure to those who are blessed to have them. Every homebound believer needs a church and Christian friends such as these.

Dear church, please do not neglect the homebound saints in your congregation. They may not be able to physically attend services, but they are part of your local body, and they need you. Not only that—you need them! You will suffer if just one part of the body is neglected. The church needs its chronically ill, disabled, and homebound members. They are indispensable. Embrace them, love them, and serve them. And in the process, you may find that you are blessed in return.

“But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-22

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash.

A Day in the Life

It has been too long since I last wrote a Day in the Life post! They have become a reader favorite, and I haven't written one since 2018. My days look a lot different now than they did five years ago, so I decided I needed to write an updated Day in the Life. I took detailed notes and a few pictures throughout a day in February to show you what an average school day looks like for me right now. I do my best to take care of the little boys while the kids are at school and Will is at work. 

My weekends look much different than what you see here. On the weekends I sleep in late and stay in bed for the majority of the day. It is my time to get caught up on rest so that I can take care of the little boys again come Monday.

A Day in the Life
Wednesday, February 1, 2023

6:00 am - I wake up too early because my legs are cold. I pull out my heating pad and put it on my legs to warm up. I am unable to fall back to sleep quickly, so I spend time praying.

6:30 - Will gets up for the day. The big kids get up, too, and get ready for school. I still haven't fallen back to sleep, so I pull out my phone, and I listen to two chapters in the book of Joshua. Then I switch to the book of 1 John. I fall asleep somewhere in the epistles. I wake up and find that I am in Revelation chapter 10. I turn it off and quickly fall back to sleep.

8:00 - I hear some quiet noises over the baby monitor, and they wake me up. I can tell that Stafford is getting up and going out to the kitchen. Will takes care of him in the morning so that I can sleep in a little longer.

8:15 - I hear some noise from Gresham over the baby monitor. He doesn't usually wake up this early. I am so tired, and my body is not ready to get up yet. I pray for help. I tell God that I am tired and that I feel like I can't do this. I ask for strength. Gresham is silent again, and I think he went back to sleep. I go back to sleep too.

9:00 - Gresham is definitely awake now, so it is time for me to wake up and start moving. It is easier to wake up this time. I am thankful for the extra bit of sleep. God answered my prayer for help and strength! I take my midodrine. It is a medication that helps to prevent blood pooling, and I need to take it and wait for it to take effect before I get out of bed. While waiting for my midodrine to start working I eat my first part of breakfast, a small bunch of grapes waiting in a container by my bed. While I eat breakfast I practice a German lesson on Duolingo.

9:25 - I finally feel well enough to get up. I make the bed, and I get my clothes for the day. I check the temperature on my phone. Today it is chilly. It is 11 degrees below zero outside, so I grab sweatpants and a thermal shirt. 

9:30 - I cross the hall to Gresham's room, and I see his happy, smiling face greeting me. He has been playing contentedly in his bed while waiting for me to come get him. I get Gresham up, change his diaper, and we both get dressed for the day.

9:45 - Gresham asks for music, so I find JJ Heller. I like her soft and soothing music, but Gresham asks for Bruno instead, so we listen to We Don't Talk about Bruno. It is his current favorite song.

9:50 - The windows in the living room and office have moisture on them because it is so cold outside today, so I take a few minutes to wipe the windows off.

10:00 - It is time to make breakfast for Gresham and myself. I need to keep the meal preparation very quick and easy, so I make instant oatmeal for both of us. I pour some milk for Gresham, and I prepare a cup of tea for myself.

10:10 - Breakfast is ready. I put Gresham in his booster seat on the living room floor. I sit on floor in front of him. Sitting on the floor is easier for me than sitting at the kitchen table, so Gresham and I almost always have breakfast on a blanket on the floor. I pray before we eat. I thank God for the food, and I ask Him for strength to take care of the little boys. Then Gresham and I eat together.

10:15 - Will texts me to ask if Stafford can come up. Will is working in his office in the basement, and Stafford has been downstairs with him. But Stafford wants to be upstairs with his brother now.

10:20 - Stafford comes upstairs and asks to listen to Yurgen's Tune. It is a song he has been working on learning.

10:25 - Stafford is hungry, so I make some oatmeal for him too.

10:40 - We have all finished eating. I get breakfast dishes picked up while the boys play.

10:45 - Stafford goes to play music in his bedroom. Gresham and I read books. Gresham is currently enrolled in a program called 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten, so we have been counting the books we read to him. He is close to 700 books now. 

10:50 - Stafford comes out with his ukulele. He reads some books with us.

11:05 - Gresham plays with the ukulele and Stafford reads and sings. I get a snack for Stafford because he needs some more food before going to preschool.

11:10 - I get a text from a friend. I pray for her while getting clothes out for Stafford. Then I help Stafford get dressed for school.

11:25 - Gresham and Stafford start tumbling on the floor and playing with the sofa cushions. I let them jump and play while I pick up the books and put them back in the book basket.

11:40 - Will comes upstairs from work. We get Stafford bundled up, and Will takes him to preschool. Gresham climbs on sofa cushions, blankets, and pillows on the floor. I lie down to rest on the portion of the sofa that still has cushions.

11:50 - Gresham comes over to snuggle and talk. 

12:00 - Will comes home. He puts away dishes and makes lunch. Kitchen noise is painful for my ears, so I hide out from the noise in the bedroom. While I am in the bedroom I put away laundry and pray for friends who are going through hard things today.

12:20 - Will comes back to let me know it is safe to go back out to the living room.

12:25 - I get the living room picked up and get the blanket spread out for lunch. We we sit down to eat.

12:45 - We finish eating, and I get Gresham wiped up. Will cleans up the dishes and the kitchen. I lie down on the sofa to rest, and Gresham plays in the Spiderman helmet. The toddler vibes are strong with this one!

12:55 - I trim Gresham's nails while Will gathers his things and gets ready to go to the office for the afternoon. We say goodbye to Will before he heads out the door.

1:05 - Gresham and I get ready for naptime. We brush our teeth. Then we go to his bedroom and read two books. I pray, I sing Jesus Loves Me, and I turn on the lullaby CD. Then I say nighty-night. Gresham is great about going down for a nap. He will talk to himself, or rest quietly in his bed, until he falls asleep.

1:25 - I crawl into my own bed. I take my lunch time vitamins and some ibuprofen for a headache. I'm not up for much reading. I read a few pages in a little book by Randy Alcorn called Seeing the Unseen, and then I go to sleep.

2:15 - I wake up. I didn't have a very long nap, but I am grateful for the sleep. I continue resting in bed while Gresham sleeps. 

3:15 - I get up out of bed. Will brings Stafford home from preschool, and then he goes back to work. Stafford shows me what is in his backpack. He came home with Mr. Bear! We get to have Mr. Bear hang out with us for the rest of the week, and we will write about his adventures in his journal.

3:25 - We snuggle on the sofa for rest time. Stafford watches Wild Kratts, and I read my Bible.

3:30 - William and Adelaide come home from school. We talk for a couple of minutes, and then they go do their homework, and I go back to reading my Bible.

3:45 - I hear Gresham start to stir. I let him wake up and jabber in his bed for a few minutes.

3:55 - Stafford has finished resting. He gets up to play.

4:05 - I get Gresham up from his nap, and I get a snack for the boys.

4:15 - I realize that I never took midodrine after my nap. I take it right away when I remember.

4:25 - The boys have finished their snack. I wipe hands and faces and pick up the dishes.

4:30 - I check the mail. Gresham got a new book from the Imagination Library. He is excited about a new book! We sit down to read together.

4:50 - We finish reading. The boys play, and I rest on the sofa. My legs are tired from the day.

5:00 - Gresham wants to read again. We have read more than 30 books today!

5:05 - Stafford and Mr. Bear draw while Gresham and I read.

5:20 - Gresham is ready to run around and play again. I help Stafford with his drawing.

5:35 - Will comes home. We talk for a few minutes about our days and what we need to do this evening.

5:50 - Will takes care of the little boys and makes supper. I get a shower and go to bed. William and Adelaide leave for play practice at school.

6:20 - I lie down in bed. My legs are tired and uncomfortable from the day's work. I am grateful for rest. And I am thankful for the strength to take care of my Littles for another day. I lie in bed trying to decide what to do. I'm too tired to move or read, so I decide to watch a TV show.

6:40 - I realize that I am too tired for a TV show, so I listen to a podcast instead.

7:05 - Will brings supper to me. He cooked chicken, potatoes, and broccoli for supper tonight. I eat while lying down in bed.

7:25 - I finish eating. And I rest. I don't read or watch TV. I just lie still.

7:50 - I fall asleep.

8:00 - A reminder rings on my phone. I turn my sound off and immediately fall back asleep.

8:10 - I wake up. I text Will and a friend.

8:20 - I practice German on Duolingo.

8:45 - My eyes are tired, so I put down my phone.

8:50 - Will comes in to chat for a few minutes. Adelaide is home from play practice, and she is watching the boys. Will doesn't stay and talk for long because I am so tired.

9:15 - It is a later night than usual. Will has been working in the kitchen prepping meals for the next two days, but now he is ready to get the boys put to bed. Will gets Stafford ready, and Adelaide helps me get Gresham ready for bed. William works on cleaning dishes in the kitchen.

9:30 - Will and I take the little boys into their bedroom. Each boy picks out a book to read, and I read them both. I have lost count of books today, but I think this makes nearly 50 books that I have read to Stafford and/or Gresham! After reading, we tuck the boys into their beds. Will prays. Then he plays his guitar, and we sing Jesus Loves Me and give hugs and kisses good night.

9:50 - I come back to bed. Will and I talk for a few minutes, and then Will goes to tackle more things on his to do list for the night.

9:55 - Adelaide comes in to say good night.

10:00 - I turn on my laptop and work on some email.

10:03 - Stafford comes to tell me he can't find his soft, fuzzy blanket. I get up to help him find it. It is lying on the pillow in his bed. I tuck him back in and tell the boys good night again.

10:05 - I crawl back into bed to work on email again.

11:15 - I finish working on email. Will is ready for bed. We go through our night time routine together. Will helps me get my breakfast for the next morning, and he fills my water bottle. I get my night time ice pack. I will use the ice on my head for my headache, and then I will keep it in bed throughout the night in case my feet start burning and I need to put an ice pack on them. 

We brush our teeth together. We watch a TV show in bed, and then we pray together before saying goodnight and going to sleep. We are grateful for time together at the end of a busy day. It is a late night, but we accomplished the tasks before us. We are thankful to the Lord for this hard and happy life, and we are thankful for the strength to make it through another day.

When Prayers for Healing Hurt

Five years ago I was talking with Will about how painful it is when people say they are praying for my healing. It's something that isn't often spoken of by those with chronic illnesses, but when people pray for our healing, sometimes it just hurts. After I cried and poured out my heart to Will, he told me, "You need to blog about this. Don't post it right now. But someday, you need to post it."

Someday has come. Here is my post from five years ago.

Photo by Ruben Hutabarat on Unsplash

October 16, 2017

I have lived with a chronic illness for 22 years. For the past 13 years this illness has been disabling to the point that I am primarily confined to my home due to extreme fatigue. And even when I am in my home, I have to be in bed resting for 18 hours a day or more.

I have prayed for healing, but so far God’s answer to that request has been, “no.” Over the years of illness I have learned to pray for new things – strength to persevere, a heart of compassion for others, a spirit that is submissive to the Father’s plan, joy in painful circumstances, patience in suffering, a thirst for God’s Word, opportunities to share the gospel with others, that the Lord would use me because of my circumstances.

I fully believe that God could heal me. He is more than able to restore strength and energy to my body. But I have learned to be content with illness, and I rarely pray for healing anymore. 

My hope isn’t in healing. My hope is in Jesus.

My hope isn’t in better days. My hope is in Jesus.

My hope isn’t in having energy. My hope is in Jesus.

If God chooses to heal me someday, I will gratefully and gladly accept that. But it is a choice that I leave up to Him. I don’t spend much energy praying for healing anymore. Once or twice a year, in a moment of desperation, I cry out to the Lord, and I ask for healing. Through tears of sorrow and weariness, I ask for the illness to be taken away and for strength to be restored. I admit my weakness and weariness of the suffering, and I submit to God’s will, whatever that may be.

When Paul was given a thorn in his flesh, he pleaded with God three times for it to be taken away. And God said, “no.” God told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” There isn’t any indication that Paul continued to pray for relief. Instead, he accepted the Father’s will.

When someone tells me that they are praying for my healing, and they don’t say they are praying for anything else… it hurts. When healing is the primary focus of someone’s prayers for me, it feels like a rejection of me as a person. Like something is so wrong that it must be fixed before I can have a happy and productive life.

I wish that instead of staying on the outside and praying for my healing that people would step into my life, as it is, and be my friend in the here and now. I wish that people would join me in my limitations, accept me for who I am, and see the value in my life as it is right now.

For more than 20 years people have been praying for my healing, and for 20 years God has said no. I am content with that. I am willing to leave the choice up to Him. I am willing to wait until Heaven for my healing. If God wants to heal me before then, great! I’ll take it! But in the meantime, I want to embrace the life He has given me. I want to live the life I have!

Will you join me? Will you step into my broken life? Will you be my friend in sickness? Will you pray for my spiritual strength and endurance? Will you pray for my peace? Will you pray that God will comfort me in my loneliness? Will you step into my loneliness and be my friend? Will you pray that I will have opportunities to share the gospel? Will you pray that I will suffer well? Will you pray that I will gladly submit to God’s plan for my life? Will you pray for wisdom for me as a wife and mother and friend? Will you pray for me to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer?

And after you have prayed for all of those things, if you are so inclined, you are welcome to pray for my healing too. But please don’t only pray for my healing. There is spiritual help that I need before I need any physical healing.

If you have a friend who is suffering from a chronic illness or disability, ask her what she would like you to pray for. You may be surprised to learn that physical healing isn’t her greatest desire or need.

Do you live with a chronic illness or disability? Do you have a spouse or child with a disability? How do you wish people would pray for you?

A Bundle of Letters

Last summer I received a whole box full of snail mail, courtesy of my friend, Elizabeth, and 280 other people!

Elizabeth was planning to come up to visit me in July last year. Our two oldest sons were going to attend camp together, and Elizabeth was going to help me while the boys were at camp for the week. I was exhausted from taking care of a baby, and I was in need of some full time help for a while. Sadly, Elizabeth and her son had to cancel their trip. It was a big disappointment for all of us! We trusted that God’s plan was best, even though it hurt, and even though it was not the plan we would have chosen.

Because Elizabeth couldn’t come to see me in person, she decided to nominate me for a bundle of letters through www.moreloveletters.com. She shared a little bit of my story, and I was chosen as one of the August recipients!

During the month of August, when I was completely homebound and confined to bed for most of the day, 280 people I had never met were thinking of me, praying for me, and writing beautiful letters. They mailed them to Elizabeth, and in September, she packaged them up and mailed them to me.

I had no idea that such a package was coming. Tears filled my eyes as I read a card from my friend, telling me about More Love Letters and the 280 people who had written to me. I was amazed to learn that so many people I had never even met took the time to write encouraging letters to me.

The days and years of chronic illness are long, and often lonely. Receiving this bundle of letters in the mail was such a special gift! I was grateful for everyone who cared enough about a stranger to reach out and send such lovely words of encouragement.

I laughed when confetti fell out of this card! I read about a hundred letters on the day they arrived, and then I fell asleep from the exertion! My arms and my mind were tired, but my heart was so happy.

This note was one of my favorite ones. The woman who wrote it shared about Amy Carmichael and how she was confined to bed. She encouraged me to write just like Amy did.

It took me a week to read all of my letters. I cherished each one.

I kept this basket of letters in my room for 10 months, and I read each letter again. This second time through I went slowly, and I prayed for each individual who wrote to me. If you sent a letter to me in this bundle, you were prayed for specifically this past year.

Some of the people who wrote to me shared their own stories of hurt, chronic illness, and loneliness. Many of these people suffer much more than I do. I was humbled that they would take the time to reach out to me when they were facing such hard battles of their own. It was an honor to read their words and to pray for them.

A few of the people who wrote said they were praying that Elizabeth and her son would be able to come to Minnesota for a visit some other time that year. We live many hundreds of miles apart, and we did not think that would be a possibility at all, but you know what? It actually happened! They came up to visit for a weekend in the fall! The boys got to play together, and Elizabeth and I had time to visit.

Lord willing, Elizabeth and her son will be coming again soon, and our boys will get to go to camp together this summer! I am looking forward to time with my friend, and our sons are very excited about a week of camp. This time with our friends will be all the more precious after missing out on this special week last year.

Our visit with friends was one of our highlights 2018. And the bundle of letters was definitely a highlight too! As I read through all of the letters I was reminded how helpful it can be to reach out to friends and encourage them with a handwritten note. It can even be good to reach out to a stranger who is hurting and encourage them with a letter.

A couple of weeks ago I sent my first letter through More Love Letters. I was grateful to be able to reach out to someone who is hurting in the same way 280 people reached out to me last year. As I have the energy, I hope to send more letters to old friends and new friends!

A Day in the Life

Many of you have told me that my "day in the life" blog posts are your favorite. It has been nearly four years since I wrote a day in the life post, so I decided it was time to do a new one. What follows isn't a "bad day" or a "good day." On a bad day I would primarily be confined to bed. On a good day you would be surprised at how much I can do. But on an average day, this is what life is like right now. 

Life is about to change a lot in March when we welcome our new baby. I am hoping I can write another "day in the life" post sometime in the year after Stafford is here. Daily life will be quite different for me then!

A Day in the Life

Monday, December 11, 2017

6:30 am - Will is getting the children up and ready for school. I am very sleepy, but wide awake. I am also hungry, so I eat the fruit that is sitting next to my bed for breakfast.

7:00 - I am not able to fall back asleep, so I read for a while.

9:40 - I feel best when I can sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning, but today sleep isn’t coming. I decide to get up and get the coffee that is waiting for me in the bathroom. Will always puts the coffee pot and my coffee cup on the bathroom counter for me before he goes to work so that I don’t have to walk all the way out to the kitchen to get it.

I go back to bed with my coffee, put my laptop on the bed, and turn it on. I check email and catch up on blog reading. I take my morning medications and vitamins, eat the rest of my breakfast, and drink my coffee. Now that I am awake enough, I also have my morning devotion and Bible reading time.

10:30 - I'm too sleepy to do anything anymore. I put my head under the pillow and pray until I fall asleep.

11:30 - I begin to wake up after sleeping for almost an hour, but then I keep falling back asleep.

12:20 pm - I open the curtain and try to convince my body to wake up. Will is going to be home for lunch anytime now, and I have things I need to do this afternoon. I need my brain and body to wake up!

12:25 - Will comes home for his lunch break. We talk for a few minutes, and then he heads out to the kitchen to make lunch. When lunch is ready, he brings it into the bedroom where I am still resting. I eat while lying down in bed, and Will sits on the bed and joins me for lunch.

1:25 - Will goes back to work. I open up my laptop and work on finishing a guest post while trying to ignore the migraine aura in the center of my vision.

1:50 - I put aside the guest post for now. I want to wait another hour and then read it again to see if it needs any final edits. The migraine aura is fading, and I am getting a headache now. I decide to take some Tylenol (since it is all I'm allowed during pregnancy) and hope this will remain a mild migraine.

I only have an hour and a half before the kids get home from school. I need to get some paperwork done while the house is still quiet. I get up and get dressed for the day. I struggle to put my compression garments on. The compression helps to prevent my blood from pooling while sitting and standing. They are very helpful for me, but putting them on is exhausting! By the time I have tugged everything on, my heart is racing, and I am breathing hard.

I take some midodrine to keep my blood pressure up while I am out of bed. I put my laptop, planner, and water bottle on Cordell, and head out to the office. On the way to the office I put my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. I turn on some music.

2:20 - I realize that I never took Tylenol, so I take it now. I make some black tea and open packages that were delivered. 

2:35 - Music is too much for me today, so I turn it off. I should have known not to turn on music while also dealing with a mild migraine. I settle in to my office recliner and desk.

I’m still struggling to finish my blog post, so instead I write an email to my editor to ask for an extension on my guest post deadline. (Later I receive a very kind reply, and my deadline is graciously extended.)

My body is so tired. I briefly wonder how all of this is going to work in 3 months with a baby. I decide I shouldn't worry about that, and I focus on today's tasks without borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

2:50 - I try on my new ACE knee brace. Pregnancy and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome don't always mix well, so my joints have been looser and more painful than is normal for me. I pull the brace on my sore knee and lie back down in my recliner to rest until the kids come home.

3:25 - William and Adelaide come home from school. We talk and get some snacks. Then we get ready for friends to come over and visit.

3:40 - I look at my planner and realize that I didn't make the phone call I needed to make. I push it off until tomorrow. I have yet to cross anything off of my To Do list for the day, a fact I find a little discouraging.

3:45 - I look at Adelaide's take home folder, and I help her with some homework. The only homework she has today is reading, and I am thankful for that. My brain is not up for math today, even 2nd grade math.

3:55 - Friends come over. I lie down on the sofa and visit with my friend while our daughters go off to play.

5:00 - We say goodbye to our friends. Adelaide and I finish up the reading homework.

5:15 - Will comes home. We share a hug, and we talk about our days. I tell him that I didn’t accomplish anything on my To Do list today. He reminds me that I had a friend over to visit, and that is accomplishing something. I’m so thankful for his encouragement, kindness, and understanding.

I get some fruit for my breakfast tomorrow morning, and I put it by my bed. I help Adelaide set out clothes for school tomorrow. Then I shower and get ready for bed.

6:20 - I turn on my white noise machine to drown out the conversation and other noises in the house, and I lie down in bed. I call Will to let him know I am in bed and ready for supper.

6:30 - Will brings supper to me. I eat, take my supper vitamins and supplements, rest, and watch a television show.

6:40 - I pause the show to grab my crocheting bag. I have to get out of bed to reach it. As I stand I notice that my legs are especially weak and worn out, but I'm able to get my bag and get safely back into bed. I'm hoping for enough strength in my arms to do some work on a baby blanket for Stafford.

7:20 - I take a break from crochet and the tv show. I post a couple of pictures on Instagram. William comes in to tell me good night, and we talk.

7:35 - William leaves, and Adelaide comes in to talk for a bit.

7:40 - I go back to my show and crocheting.

7:50 - I pause my show again as Adelaide comes back in to say good night. Then I text a friend and Vox two other friends.

Will puts the children to bed. Then he does law school homework.

8:15 - I go to the kitchen for a few minutes to make some rooibus tea and get a snack. Hopefully this will keep me from waking up hungry at 6:30 tomorrow morning like I did today!

I text and Vox some more with friends. Technology is so helpful! I am grateful for a phone and the ability to keep in touch with friends from far away.

8:45 - I go back to crocheting and watching tv. I stop crocheting every few minutes to rest my arms.

10:00 - I check my email, read a couple of blog posts, do some Amazon shopping, and then shut down my laptop.

10:15 - Will is done with law school homework for tonight. We talk a little and get ready for bed. Will fills up my water bottles and gets an ice pack for my feet for the night.

10:50 - We pray together and say good night. Will can fall asleep right away, but it takes me a while. I take my night time medications and then scroll through Facebook and Instagram on my phone for a few minutes. I pull out the book Happiness by Randy Alcorn and read for a while.

12:00 am - Happiness is too interesting, and it is keeping me awake! I put it away and pull out an audio book instead. I soon fall asleep.

The Gift of Time to Pray

December was a busy month for my family. It was filled with birthdays, work, and celebrations. When January arrived, we settled back into our regular routine. School started again for my children, and my husband went back to work. I wanted to get busy too. I was ready to start reading and writing again. I was ready to help out with small tasks around the home.

But my body was too worn out from the holiday season. I used up a lot of energy over Christmas break, and my body has had a hard time recovering from the exertion. The fatigue has made it difficult to type on my laptop, even while lying down in bed. Sometimes it has been too hard to read or even watch a movie. The extra tiredness has been discouraging for me. I have wanted to do more to serve my family, but the fatigue has kept me still and quiet.

I was feeling sad about all that I could not do, but then I decided to shift my focus and look for the gifts found in the mundane, quiet days at home. I started adding up the time that I spent in prayer on my tired days, and I soon realized that I was spending two hours or more in prayer on many of those days! Because I was too tired to do my normal tasks, I was able to spend much more time in prayer.

In the middle of these weak and tired days, I have been given a good gift: uninterrupted time to pray. Many Christians would be grateful for two hours of time alone with God each day to pray. The time I have to pray is a precious gift, and I am learning to accept it as such.

I live in a body of weakness. Maybe you do too. It is a comfort to know that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). God can work through our weak and tired bodies, and spending time in prayer is one way we can let Him work through us. It is also a comfort to know that the “Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26).

So this winter, as I rest and recover from the holidays, I am keeping my prayer cards nearby. When I am too tired to read a book or write a blog post, I will spend time in prayer. This extra time spent in prayer for friends, family, ministries, and missionaries is not time that is wasted. It is time that is spent on Kingdom work! It is a privilege to come before the Lord in my weakness and pray, and it is a comfort to know that the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf.

Is there a limitation you are facing that makes life difficult, but that opens up new opportunities? What gifts have come as a result of a disability or illness in your life?

This article was originally published on The Irresistible Church.

Helping the Healthy Child of a Disabled Parent

Life as a mother with a disabling, chronic illness is incredibly challenging. My body grows weak and tired quickly. I need help every day doing household tasks and caring for my children. This is especially true in the summer months when my children are home all day long.

I was grateful for dear friends and family who stepped up to help me in big ways this past summer. I was especially touched by an offer of help from Justyne, a sweet eleven-year-old girl.

Justyne goes to our church, and she has a special love for my six-year-old daughter, Adelaide. She volunteered to take Adelaide to the pool once a week this summer. What a blessing she was both to Adelaide and to me!

Justyne was helpful to me because she gave me some much needed rest in a quiet house. But she was also a big help to Adelaide. She gave Adelaide a chance to play at the pool, which she otherwise would not have had. Justyne gave her the gift of friendship with an older girl. She also provided Adelaide with exercise on a day when she otherwise might have had to stay indoors all afternoon.

Children of disabled parents need some extra love and practical help. They miss out on special events and activities because a disabled parent is unable to take them. They miss out on common summer activities like going to the park or going to the pool. Sometimes they may even miss out on simple board games at home because a chronically ill parent is not well enough to sit up and play.

Justyne gives us a great example of one way to help the healthy child of a disabled parent. She is also an inspiring example of a kid stepping into disability ministry at a young age. Disability ministry isn’t just something for adults to do; kids can serve families affected by disability too!

When someone like Justyne steps in and helps, it provides much needed playtime. It gives a kid a chance to be a kid. It provides a break from the difficulties of life affected by a disability.

Thank you, Justyne, for your example to all of us. And thank you for loving my daughter so well. You have blessed my whole family!

How can we reach out to the healthy children in families affected by disability?

What ideas do you have of ways that children can be involved in disability ministry?

{This article was originally posted on The Irresistible Church blog}

Serving the Church when You Are Homebound

Believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who are homebound are a vital part of the Body of Christ. If you are a church member who is homebound, it may be easy to feel as if you aren’t a part of the body, but God’s Word says that every believer is a vital part of the body of Christ. Even the weaker members are indispensable (1 Corinthians 12:22). You have an important role to play in the body of Christ! Your service is needed and is valuable.

But, how can you step out and serve when it is difficult or impossible to leave your home? Let’s talk about a few ways you might be able to serve those in your church.

1) Live a life of faithfulness in the midst of suffering. A godly testimony in the midst of suffering is a precious ministry. Those in your church who see your faithfulness, or hear of your godly example, will be encouraged in their own walk with the Lord. Their faith will be strengthened on account of you.

2) Share your testimony. If your church has a time for sharing testimonies, perhaps you could write a few sentences for a friend to read at church in your place. Your words could encourage and help those in your church even if you are not able to speak to them in person.

3) Send cards in the mail. If there is someone else in the church who is disabled or homebound, you could send them a card to encourage them in a way that is very personal because you have faced similar struggles. You can also send cards to encourage those in the church who are sick, going through a difficult time, or grieving the loss of a loved one.

4) Prayer is a very important ministry. Through prayer you have the privilege of bringing requests before the throne of grace and interceding for others. God chooses to work through the prayers of His children, and “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16 b, NIV). Prayer is an awesome opportunity to minister to those in your church!

Even if you are confined to your home, you are an indispensable part of the Body of Christ. There are important ways you can serve your local church, and your service is precious in the sight of God.

How have you been blessed by the service of a homebound member of the church? If you are a homebound member, how do you serve your local church?

{This post was originally posted on The Irresistible Church blog.}

Serving the Homebound in the Church

It is easy to accidentally overlook the homebound in our churches because we do not see them often, if at all. These members may be elderly, undergoing cancer treatment, living with a severe chronic illness, or facing another type of disability. Although these brothers and sisters in Christ cannot attend church services regularly, they are an indispensable part of the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:22).

Those who are homebound need spiritual care from their church, and some of them may need physical help as well. How can a church serve and include their homebound members? Consider these practical ways to reach out to them.

1) Visit them in their homes. Those who are homebound need fellowship with the body of Christ. A short visit can be very encouraging to one who is often alone. Taking time to read Scripture and pray with them will minister to their souls. In some cases an in-person visit may not be possible, but a phone call, gift, or letter will communicate love and care.

2) Help with transportation. Some members may be able to attend church if someone can provide transportation. Others may be able to attend if someone is willing to arrive late or take them home early. Many of the homebound members may never be able to attend a service, but may need assistance with transportation to medical appointments.

3) Provide physical assistance at their home. If the homebound member is living in their own home, they may need help with cleaning, yard work, or shopping. It could be helpful to ask if this type of assistance is needed, and then organize help if it is.

4) Live-stream the church service online. Church members who are homebound often miss the preaching of the Word and corporate worship through singing. Listening to the church service from home will help feed their souls. If a live-stream is not possible, providing recordings of the services would be beneficial.

5) Send a card in the mail. A card is a lovely gift for someone who often misses out on fellowship due to being confined to their home. Cards from individual members are special, and a basket of cards from the whole congregation would be an especially delightful gift!

Those who are homebound in our churches are precious in the sight of God. Although we may not see them often, they are vital members of the body of Christ. Let us look for ways to serve them and include them in the life of the church even when they are confined to their homes.

How have you been blessed by serving a homebound member of the church? If you are a homebound member, how has your local church served you?

{This post was originally published on The Irresistible Church blog.}

Five Minute Friday: Whole

Today I am joining the Five Minute Friday community. We write for five minutes on the same writing prompt, and then we gather together at Kate's blog to share our words.

I haven't participated in Five Minute Friday since last fall, but I am going to be making an effort to join in more often now. Five Minute Friday is good for me. It stretches me, challenges me, and gets me to write about topics I might not otherwise consider. Last fall Periscope helped to get me out of my comfort zone. Now that I am no longer doing Periscope, I want to join in Five Minute Friday often so that I can be stretched out of my comfort zone!

I have to say that I took about 10 minutes, instead of 5, to write this post. I am still a little extra tired from yesterday, and my brain is working slowly. Thank you for grace!

Five Minute Friday :: Whole

Yesterday was a low-energy, very tired day, and I had to spend the whole day in bed. It was one of those days when I woke up absolutely exhausted for no apparent reason. It always amazes me that I can eat good food, get a good night of sleep, and still not have energy to get out of bed.

I accomplished very little yesterday. I had planned to write emails, blog, and crochet. Instead I found myself too tired to do any of those things, and for most of the day I was too tired to even watch television. I didn’t do much more than look at Facebook and pray. Most of my time was spent just lying in bed, not doing anything but thinking and praying. I did manage to do my daily Bible reading, but I had to set it aside to rest a few times before I could finish.

When my children came home from school, I was unable to greet them at the door like I usually do. Instead they came back to find me in my room, still in bed. They said hello, and then quietly and happily played in their rooms and did homework. And then I fell asleep.

After Will came home from work, I got up to get a shower, and then I went right back to bed. It was a long, hard day, but I made it through.

This morning, as I was looking back on my slow, boring day yesterday, I felt like I had accomplished very little. But then I realized that I accomplished just what I needed to accomplish. I read my Bible. I spent time with the Lord in prayer. My prayers were short and simple, but I know that the Holy Spirit interceded on my behalf. And perhaps my simple, tired prayers accomplished something significant.

I may have spent the whole day in bed, but a whole day in bed, when lived for the glory of God, is not a wasted day.

Beyond the Prayer Sheet

“But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-22

The church needs its chronically ill members. God’s Word says that every believer is a vital part of the body of Christ. It is essential that each part contribute to, and receive nourishment from, the body. Even the seemingly weak parts are indispensable; they are absolutely necessary for the body to function properly. If they are disregarded or neglected, the body will suffer.

I have lived with a debilitating chronic illness for twenty years. During this time I have been blessed to get to know numerous Christians who also live with chronic illnesses. These people have various needs and spiritual gifts, and they desire to be part of a local church body. Yet, sadly, I hear again and again from Christians with chronic illnesses that they feel forgotten or neglected by their local church. This should grieve our hearts. We must learn to see, and include, the chronically ill as an indispensable part of the body of Christ.

In some churches, ministry to the chronically ill does not extend beyond the mention of their names in a weekly prayer sheet. Praying for the chronically ill in our churches is an important ministry, and one that we should not neglect. It is essential, however, that we go beyond the prayer sheet. The church needs to come alongside the chronically ill to suffer with them and to serve with them. The chronically ill are a vital part of the body of Christ. They have much to offer us, and we, the body of Christ, have much to offer them. 

I think that many churches desire to minister to the spiritual and physical needs of the chronically ill, but they struggle to know how. Here are a few examples of practical ways the church can serve its chronically ill members:

• Call or send a card when they are not able to make it to church. This simple gesture lets the chronically ill know that they are cared for. It reminds them that they are not forgotten even when they cannot be physically present with the church body. 
• Live stream church services on the church website. This is a wonderful way to include homebound members in the corporate worship service. Providing sermons on CD or mp3 is helpful if your church is not equipped with technology for live streaming.
• Visit them in their homes, especially if they are homebound. We all need fellowship with other believers, but those who are homebound may not have many opportunities for Christian fellowship. Before visiting, it is helpful to call ahead to make sure they are feeling well enough for a visit.
• Ask if there are ways the church building could be made more accessible for them. Some things that may be helpful are: more handicap parking spaces, bathroom modifications, ramps, or a recliner for someone who cannot sit up through a church service. 
• Ask if they need help with yard work, meals, housekeeping, childcare, or transportation. Once a church learns what the physical needs of their chronically ill members are, they can help to meet those needs and/or assist in organizing the necessary help.

The chronically ill are not simply members in our churches who need to receive prayer and help. There are also ways that the chronically ill can give to the church. They may not be able to contribute in an obvious way, but their contributions are not insignificant. Though they may be weaker, they are indispensable. Here are a few ways the chronically ill can minister to the church body:

• Pray for the needs of the church. Some members may be unable to make it to church regularly, but they can faithfully intercede for the saints. 
• Teach a class with assistance. Some of the chronically ill may not be able to teach a Sunday school class or Bible study all by themselves, but they might be able to help in a class or teach with the help of an assistant.
• Encourage and disciple others. Those who are not well enough to teach at church may be able to encourage and disciple believers who visit them in their homes. They may have a wealth of wisdom to share from lessons learned through years of suffering with an illness.
• Be a faithful example of perseverance. Living with a chronic illness takes perseverance. Those who live faithful lives despite daily physical trials will be an encouragement to other believers. By their example, they can teach the body of Christ to persevere and keep an eternal perspective in the midst of trials.
• Share their testimony. The chronically ill could share about what the Lord is doing in their lives during a prayer meeting or Bible study. If homebound, they could share through a written testimony that is placed in a bulletin or emailed to the church.

Through faith in Christ’s sacrifice, each of us has been made a vital part of the body of Christ. The seemingly weak are, in actuality, indispensable. We cannot neglect or disregard a part of the body without causing the body to cease to function properly. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary that we value the chronically ill members in our local churches. Let us look for ways to serve them, and let us accept service from them in return. Let us include the chronically ill as an indispensable part of the body of Christ. 

Choose Joy: When Healing Doesn't Come

Each Monday in January I have been sharing quotes from Choose Joy by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver. I hope that you have enjoyed Sara's words as much as I have. If you want to purchase the book, it is available at Amazon, Christian Book, and many other places.

Today I am sharing quotes from Sara about healing and prayer. Sara was completely confident that God could heal her, but she knew that sometimes healing was not God's plan. She prayed for a heart that would seek after His desires instead of her own wants, and she trusted God to do what was best in her life, whether it be healing or sickness.

I believe in a God Who is so much bigger than I can imagine Him to be that anything is possible. I also believe that sometimes healing must not be what He needs for us, or it would happen to everyone.  

– Sara Frankl, Choose Joy, page 89

I do tell God what I think would be lovely for my life, but I also tell Him that I am fully open to whatever He needs from me. I don’t think prayer is just about changing my circumstances, although sometimes it does. I think it is about letting God know I’m here, I’m paying attention, I love Him and honor Him with my whole heart. It’s also about changing my heart, aligning my will with His, and asking Him to give me a heart that would rather serve Him than serve my own desires. 

I would love to wake up and never have pain again. I would love to open my windows and sit on my patio or go for a walk or swim in a lake. But I don’t want those things if they don’t serve Him… 

I don’t think healing is about who puts their faith on the line better; I think it’s about fulfilling a mission. Some are healed because that miracle will spur some on to faith. Some are not healed because that suffering will help others in some way. I’m not big enough to know which should be true for me. I trust God to make that decision. I am open to either option and I believe that if healing is meant for me, He’ll make it happen. 

In the interim I’m not wasting a moment of what is by waiting for what could be.  

– Sara Frankl, Choose Joy, page 90

Photo Credit: Gitzen Girl

The Lord did not choose to heal Sara on this earth. He chose to glorify Himself through her sickness and suffering. When her time on earth was coming to an end, Sara was still filled with joy. She was excited that she was going to meet Jesus soon. Her only concern was for her family and friends whom she was leaving behind.

Sara's sister said: 

“Sara’s focus was on making sure those of us left here on earth were taken care of. That we were okay. She said, ‘I’ll be fine. Isn’t this exciting? I want to make sure you’re okay…’ She was so courageous. Without shedding a tear, and filled with joy, she told us how excited she was to meet our Heavenly Father. Even in those last days, she continued teaching us—how to love, how to be brave, how to choose joy.” 

- Choose Joy, page 158

A final word from Sara: 

“Make it about Him, not you. Enjoy every second. Choose joy.” 

- Choose Joy, page 172

Choose Joy: A Moment to Be Embraced

Each Monday in January I am sharing a few quotes from Choose Joy, by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver. Sara lived with Ankylosing Spondylitis, a disease that was progressive and caused her to be in constant severe pain. She was completely confined to her home, but through the internet her words reached far beyond her own walls. Sara encouraged me through her example of perseverance and joy in the midst of a very difficult life. Today I am sharing a few quotes from Sara in which she talks about embracing the life God gave her.

The truth is that life in my thirties is no better or worse than I wanted; it’s just completely and utterly different. The wisdom comes in knowing that it is exactly as it should be. The joy comes in learning to live it, not despite all I’ve lost, but because of all this life has brought to me. 

– Sara Frankl, Choose Joy, page 68

So I’ve changed my thinking—and it changed my heart. Just as much as I would embrace a miracle of healing with open arms, I choose to embrace all that comes into my life the same way. I’ve learned to embrace the pain. Embrace the solitude. Embrace the constantly changing plan of my day as my pain and energy levels fluctuate… 

I see every moment of my life now, both the difficult and the joyful, as a moment to be embraced. Because I know that God is in the middle of all of them. He is in the center of my storms and my blessings. He sees it all with eyes that know and understand and foresee the purpose of my situation. And I want what He wants. 

So I no longer adapt, compromise, or adjust. I surrender. I simply trust that whatever is in front of me at any given moment, He is in the center of it. And there’s no place I’d rather be. 

– Sara Frankl, Choose Joy, pages 96-97

He knows my past, present, and future. He is surprised by nothing. He is with me, never leaves me even when I feel alone, and holds me up even when I think I am standing on my own two feet. He is good. All the time. I am going to ask Him to help me see that, and I will praise Him through all of it. 

– Sara Frankl, Choose Joy, page 108

You can learn more about Choose Joy here: thechoosejoybook.com.

Is your life different than you expected or wanted? How are you embracing the life God has given you? How are you praising Him through all of it?

Choose Joy: I Especially Choose the French Fries

I have been reading, and re-reading, Sara Frankl's book, Choose Joy, because it has been so encouraging. It is rare to find a book by someone with a severe chronic illness. Choose Joy resonated with me in so many ways that I didn't know where to begin with my book review last week. Instead of trying to capture how special this book was to me in one post, I have decided to spread out the joy! Each Monday in January I will be sharing a quote from Choose Joy, plus a few thoughts of my own.

Also, I want to let you know that my friend, Kimberly Penix, is starting a book club today, and they are reading through Choose Joy! They will be discussing the introduction and chapter one on her blog. Tomorrow they will be chatting on Periscope about the book. It's not too late to grab a copy and join the book club!

Sara did not take her life for granted. She found blessings all around. In the midst of her pain, she found joy and purpose.

The reason I am happy is that I choose to look at my blessings more than my burdens.

The burdens are persistent; the pain is relentless. I walk with crutches and it takes me longer to get up out of the chair then it takes my friends to get up and walk the length of my condo and back. But I know that if God didn't have a purpose for my illness He would have taken it away from me by now. So I take it humbly and pray that if He has a purpose for me, I am paying attention so I don't miss the opportunity to serve. I'm okay with not knowing why this is happening to me because I know He knows why.

It's not about me; it's about what He can do with me. My job is simply to pay attention and enjoy the rainbows. 

- Sara Frankl, Choose Joy, page 11

Sara trusted that God had a plan and purpose for her illness, and she was determined to enjoy the life that she had been given. She found joy in the small things. She savored happy moments. She sure did know how to enjoy the blessings of life!

One of my favorite stories in Choose Joy is the one where Sara tells about enjoying a moment with her parents eating McDonald's French fries. Her parents had taken her to the doctor, and the outing took quite a toll on Sarah's health. She knew it was the last time she would ever leave her condo. But through the pain and the sadness of it all, Sara chose to see the joy. She chose to delight in a small, happy moment on her porch.

I can smile remembering that, for a few fleeting minutes, Mom, Dad, and I sat in those patio chairs I've been longing to relax in and ate McDonald's French fries just because we could. After all, the damage was done and we were determined to take our moments. 

A lot of things aren't going right because I left the house on Thursday. But I choose the joy. I choose the conversation, the relationships, the breeze and the sunshine. 

And I especially choose the French fries. 

- Sara Frankl, Choose Joy, page 27

My health is not nearly as bad as Sara's was, but I can identify with pushing my body beyond its limits to enjoy a fun moment. I am homebound, and sometimes it is nice to have a break from my four walls, so Will takes me for an outing. Sometimes he takes me on a short shopping trip, and I ride a scooter around the store. Other times we go to a hotel for a night or two, just to get me out of the house and looking at four different walls!

Occasionally I go out to eat with my family. It is hard to sit up at a table in a restaurant, but I go to see their smiling faces. I go to enjoy their company. I go to enjoy getting out of the house, even if only for an hour. I come back home exhausted, and it takes me a few days to recover from one hour at a restaurant. But I enjoy the moments, and I savor the memories.

If you have a chronic illness, do you ever push yourself beyond your limits just to enjoy something fun? How do you savor your moments when life is hard? How do you find joy in the midst of pain?